Page 46 of It's All Sun and Games

‘Okay, I take that back,’ he says with a smile.

As we join Rick for… whatever this is, I notice resort staff unloading piles of cardboard. Lord have mercy, what fresh hell is this?

‘Fantastic,’ Rick calls out – I’ve never seen someone so excited at cardboard – his voice echoing across the pool area, startling a few people who are just here trying to have a nice, normal, cardboard-free holiday.

‘What’s all this about, Rick?’ James asks, his curiosity getting the better of him.

‘This is all for today’s activity,’ Rick replies. ‘What I want for you to do is to get into teams of two, and using only duct tape and cardboard, I want you to build a raft.’

‘A raft?’ Liz replies, repeating his words back to him, like she might not have heard them correctly.

Oh, but there isn’t a doubt in my mind, this is Rick. If Rick says he wants us to build a raft made of cardboard and tape then that is exactly what we’re doing.

‘A raft,’ Rick says again.

Wow, there really is an echo here.

‘What do you mean?’ Cait asks.

I’m telling you, seriously, he means a fucking raft.

‘A raft,’ Rick says – I really wish people would stop saying raft. ‘And not only does it have to float but it has to work. The winning team will be the first team to make and demonstrate a working raft, so, you have your cardboard, you have your tape – get into your teams and get to work.’

‘This is going to be great,’ James announces, kissing major butt. ‘I love survival shows so this will be my chance to see if I’ve learned anything.’

‘I’ll work with you then,’ Liz says quickly, sensing her chance to win.

‘I used to be a Beaver,’ Henry offers up.

Oh, the look on Andrea’s face is priceless.

‘A Beaver is like a really young Boy Scout,’ I explain to him.

‘Okay, that makes more sense,’ Andrea says with a smile.

‘I’ll work with the Beaver then,’ Cait adds. ‘That way Robin and Andrea can work together.’

‘Perfect – get to work,’ Rick declares. ‘And do spread out – I don’t want you copying each other.’

Andrea and I look at each other for a second.

‘I guess we’d better get to work,’ I say with a sigh.

‘I’ll grab the cardboard,’ he replies.

We do as Rick says, taking ourselves off to one side, with our big pile of cardboard. Just standard summer holiday stuff, really.

Andrea runs a hand through his hair as he surveys the materials in front of him.

‘Any ideas, Captain?’ I ask him.

‘Perhaps,’ he replies. ‘Let’s see if we both fit,’ he suggests, laying down a piece of cardboard on the floor.

I laugh to myself, at the sheer absurdity of it all, as I do as I’m told and stretch out on the cardboard.

‘You’re not going to fit on here too,’ I tell him as I roll onto my stomach.

‘Okay, more,’ he says as he crouches down next to me.

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