Page 13 of Obsessions of the Heart

Closing my eyes, I took a few steady breaths and did a mental assessment. Everything had calmed down, going back to normal. Glancing at the clock in my car, I realized that I needed to get back on the road. I was only about an hour away, and I really wanted to check in, find my room, and settle in for the night. Maybe what I really needed was a good, long rest… if I can.

Shaking my head, I pushed up off the ground and dusted myself off. I was going to keep moving forward like I always did. My new life was an hour away, and I wasn’t about to fuck it up. Climbing into my car, I made my way down the last leg of the trip, becoming more nervous the closer I got.

My mouth dropped. When I looked up the college, it had seemed a bit on the secretive side, without a lot of pictures or reviews, and when I tried to find a satellite image of the school, it was blurred out. Needless to say, I didn't really know what I was walking into.

When I rolled my junker down a hidden side road that led to a gated plot of land, I immediately wanted to turn back. I must have the wrong place. This looked like some kind of hidden compound for some uber-rich mogul with its guarded black iron gate with millions of Italian cypresses lining along the gate, so closely positioned that it was impossible to see between them. Was I going to school for a secret government program? Me? Doubtful. Maybe this was where all the famous people sent their kids? But then why would I get in?

The guard at the gate waved me forward, but my hand was on the gear shift, ready to put this bitch in reverse and go to the nearest big city to find someone who needed a waitress.

“Miss Smith, please come forward.” My eyes flew open at the sound of my last name. It was very unoriginal, but Miss Vaughn was a lazy bitch. My first name was the only one on the baby blanket I was wrapped in, the one Miss Vaughn sold as soon as she could.

His voice came out more insistent the second time. “Miss Layrin Smith? Please come forward.” His eyes softened, looking at the state I was in, then his tone became calmer, more soothing. “I can give you your permanent parking pass and map of the campus.”

My foot pressed on the gas, and before I realized it, I was in front of the salt-and-pepper-haired, bulky guard whose name tag said “Bert.” He looked to be around his forties and in great shape, but his eyes spoke of tough times. I knew that look well.

He handed me a plastic permit sign to hang on my mirror and a laminated map of the school, then turned and pointed to the left. “If you head to the left and keep going past the lake, you’ll see the main hall.” He cracked a small smile at my still shocked face. “That's where all the cafés, registration, dean's office, and spirit store are. Once you head in for orientation, they’ll hand you your room assignments, but since you’re coming in as a freshman, your dorms are going to be in the tall building in the back.” He pointed to a spot on the map before grabbing the pen out of his chest pocket and circling it. “That should help.”

“Um… How do you know my name?”

He winked at me. “I know all the incoming freshmen. Everyone else uses the keycard gate behind the dorms.”

Oh, that makes sense. Kinda. I thanked him before I slowly rolled my car through the large spiky iron gate.

The first thing that captured my attention was that everything was so green and fresh looking, with large oak trees scattered around, moss-covered stones, and a large fountain in front of a building that seemed like it was city center.

There was a small sign that said “Mail Hall” with an arrow pointed at the neoclassical building in the center. I parked in the small lot outside, took a few breaths, and told myself to get out and face the music.

I grabbed my purse with my scholarship letter, wanting to make sure I had proof I should be here. The closer I got, the more my fingers tingled and my stomach tied up in knots. The building looked to be made out of granite. Its six large colosseum pillars looked like intimidating centurions, guarding the precious door from any riffraff.

A dark-haired man wearing a tweed jacket and slacks came out the door just as I tried to open it. I jumped back to avoid getting hit, and the guy’s eyes went wide. “Oh shit! I'm sorry.” His eyes met mine, and they widened for a second before his cheeks turned rosy. “I didn’t see you. Excuse me.” He scampered off, and I didn't have time to get into any drama by chasing after him.

There was another small sign inside the building, explaining which room housed each service. I thought it was a little weird that everything for the newcomers was small and easy to miss. Was this a test? Were they trying to weed some of us out, only wanting those that could figure it out on their own?

I followed the sign and found it led to a hallway to the right. At the end, there was a set of double doors with one propped open. Betting that was it, I made my way down and peeked inside.

It looked like registration/orientation was being held in a large conference room, but at the front of the room, there were a few podiums with screens attached to them. Only a couple handfuls of people were in there, most of them sitting apart from one another, clicking around on their phones.

“Excuse me, is this freshman orientation?”

Turning around, I was captured by a set of steel blue eyes that seemed like they could see right through me. I nodded and moved out of her way, pointing toward the chairs. She couldn't be more than five foot two, but she held herself like she was seven feet tall, graceful, poised, and confident. I was so stunned, feeling like a troll next to her, that I quickly turned away in embarrassment.

She had taken a few steps, going out of my peripherals, when her voice came out. “Are you coming? Do you need me to save you a seat? I think it's about to start.”

Vivian’s smiling face flashed before my eyes, and I shuddered. “No. I have a seat.” I scampered my way down the aisle, sitting in the first chair I scoped out before inhaling. I didn't want life to repeat itself.

I snuck a side glance, watching the girl walk down the aisle and sit in the front row just as a screen rolled down and a projector turned on. A middle-aged woman with shrewd eyes and short red hair came on the screen. “Hello. I’m Clara Barns, the Dean of Students here at Messores University. I’m not going to bore you all with a tale of how this college was started and all the successful people that have graduated from here. All of you should know that already. What I am here to tell you is that freshman year is going to be tough. It's meant to be.”

She folded her arms and glared at all of us like she was actually here. “This year is meant to weed out the weak. The useless. The incompetent. We have no use for those that exhibit any of those three qualities, but if you make it, if you prove yourself, you will know no bounds. Nothing will be able to touch you in the future, and you will have everything you desire once you graduate. This place is both heaven and hell, and it's up to you to be the demon disguised as an angel or the angel who’s occasionally pushed to be a demon. Anything less is failure.”

Well, that was a pep talk if I ever heard one. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and looked around the room instead. Everyone was focused forward, taking everything she was saying as gold. Her speech was a thinly veiled threat meant to inspire these people to work harder and be more than what they were right now. While that might work on the masses, that kind of shit didn't work on me.

I’d seen real demons dressed as angels, giving out honeyed words and big promises, and I‘d watched angels with large hearts do horrible, unspeakable things. Her ideas of demons and angels were far from mine. I just needed to watch those around me carefully, making sure I slid on by without a target on my back, and I would be just fine.

She kept to her word, keeping it short. “Below, you will see podiums with screens. Find your name, press the button, and your room assignment will print out below. You are dismissed.” She blinked out, and the whole room was quiet until that girl got out of her seat and followed the directions. The tearing of the paper echoed in the room, and she left without saying a word.

Like she had opened the floodgates, everyone lined up and did the same. I stayed seated, waiting until the line was only a few people deep, then got up. When I got my assignment, all it said was Room: 99, Parking Spot: 47. I sighed, already feeling like this was an omen.

Unable to keep my yawn in, I decided that I would check out the main hall later. Instead, I got in my car to drive over to my new home.

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