Page 7 of Obsessions of the Heart

“Seeeee? I told you that you’re gorgeous,” Vivian whispered in my ear. “You could have men falling at your feet.”

I knew what she was saying, but I had seen so many women on the streets play the beautiful card. It might work for a while, for a few things here and there, but in the end, you either ended up dead or in a situation you couldn’t escape. I was not about that life, no matter how desperate I was.

In a flash, our drinks appeared in front of us, and Vivian took hers, telling me to meet her on the dance floor. I slid my card across the counter, wanting to keep my eyes on Vivian. “Close out the tab.” I didn't have a bunch of cash to spend on drinks, but for this first one, they were on me.

The bartender's fingers landed on mine, his voice coming out husky and hopeful. “Really? I was hoping you would keep it open so I could see you more.”

It was a lame attempt, and I was wasting time with this idiot. I threw my chin toward the cash register. “Naw. I’m planning to get these paid for from here on out.”

His lips pursed, and he grumbled under his breath as he cashed me out. Well, he’s not getting a tip with that kind of attitude. I worked the services gig myself, and if you got a rough client, you grinned and took your loss like a gangster. If not, that affected your tips.

Maybe he was used to girls falling for his shit? If that were the case, he’d fucked with the wrong girly.

He plopped the bill on the counter and immediately turned away, smiling and fawning over some other chick, but I just laughed. Yep, that's a zero. I crossed a double line through the tip section and signed my name before turning around to hunt down Vivian.

I sipped on my drink before trying to take on the bouncing and grinding crowd. The vodka tang hit the tip of my tongue before the sweet notes of the bubbly tonic followed, then the slice of the bitter lime took over. I closed my eyes and savored the moment, enjoying the drink while the music flowed through my body. Once my body had the beat down, I went on my search. Matching the crowd's rhythm, I was able to cut through the grinding people without spilling my drink while I gazed around for my blonde little vixen.

I found a spot that had higher elevation, where I could easily scan the crowd. The music bumped so hard it rattled my teeth, but it didn’t prevent the shiver that ran up my spine, telling me someone had eyes on me again. Lowering my head to my drink, I gazed through my lashes, trying to find the watcher.

Bodies swayed and jumped to the music, but my eyes snagged on a single solitary person whose hair sparkled with gold streaks underneath the light, just like the boys from my past. Longing and hope surged inside me, causing my body to move before I even thought about it. Racing down, I shoved people aside until I got to his spot, but he had disappeared.

Circling a few times, that hope dissipated just as quickly as it had come. Shoving my hand into my hair, I berated myself. Why the fuck did you think you would see one of them again? They're gone. Never coming back. You were nothing to them, just a silly girl they played games with as a kid. Let the past go, Layrin.

Smacking myself, I recalled the reason I was searching the crowd in the first place. I found her with her drink held up high, dancing with some idiot with slicked back hair and tattoos coming out of his collar. Tattooed bad boys were her kryptonite.

The crowd was closing in, like they somehow knew that a song was going to start that was going to make them crazy. I cut my way through to her just as her eyes snagged on mine. She smiled big, too big. Shit!

As soon as the beat started to pound, I grabbed her chin and looked into her eyes. Her pupils were so big they looked like saucers, and the corner of her nose had some white dust. I growled, “Vivian!”

She patted my cheek, rubbing her nose before looking at me like I was being unreasonable. “Come on, Lay! Just have fun with me. Let go for once. No one is out to get you.”

“Everyone is out to get everyone,” I mumbled even though I knew that she wasn’t in the right headspace to understand that.

“Who the fuck are you?” the guy behind her said as he grabbed her hips to yank her back. Glaring at him, I quickly downed my drink, grabbed Vivian’s, and drank hers before I shoved both cups into his chest, making them his problem. With that, I grabbed her hand and went off. All I knew was that I needed to get her away from him and get this coke to burn through her system now.

“Lay! That was badass!” Vivian exclaimed, but I only held on to her hand harder as I moved us into the middle of the dance floor.

Yanking her around to face me, I argued, “And that was reckless, Viv! You don't know that asshole!”

She stuck out her lower lip and frowned. “It's just a little coke, Lay. It's not that big of a deal.”

I grabbed her head between my hands, bringing her forehead to mine. “No. It's not just a little coke. It's you putting your life in someone else's control. You don’t know it’s coke until you sniff it, and then what? What if he laced it? What if he tried to take you to a back room? It wasn't like I was around yet, and the music was so loud I wouldn't be able to hear your screams.”

She swayed her body to the beat, eyes still on me, so I gripped her harder to focus. “Girls like us end up on the front cover of newspapers with shitty articles written about how we should've known better. I want better for you.” Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and swayed with her. “I know Jimmy hurt you.” I felt her tighten up, about to yank out of my grasp, so I held on.

“I know that you want to drown out your pain and numb yourself, but that's not the way to do it. That's only giving that shithead power, and we refuse to do that, right?!”

She nodded, tears in her eyes. It broke my heart, but that wasn't my role tonight. I gave her ass a smack, shocking her out of her sadness. “So, let's have fun. We can just dance the pain away together. You and me.”

Smiling, she wrapped her arms around my neck, burrowing her head into me as she let out a small cry. “You're right. I know you are.” She lifted her head and swiped at the tear that was rolling down. “Plus, there are no tears allowed in the club! I wanna dance and forget that fucker.”

I let her pull my arm as we danced with each other. A few guys gave us hungry looks, but that was their problem. It wasn't about them tonight; it was about us. Not about forgetting the pain, but letting it go.

We danced and danced until her body moved more gracefully, unlike the jerky motions that came with the drugs. Her eyes seemed less clouded, and it made my heart happy to see her just being herself. Young and free.

“Holy shit, Vivian! Oh my god! I haven't seen you in ages!” A striking redhead danced up next to us, and Vivian let out one of those ear-splitting girly screams before she launched herself at this woman. I had my guard up because I had never seen her before in my life, but I told myself to be a little less protective. It seemed like Vivian knew her.

Vivian let go of the woman and turned toward me. “Lay! This is Rachel. She and her mom lived with us while they were going through a hard time.”

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