Page 49 of Obsessions of the Heart

Ravi grabbed my hand again and tugged me after him. While he had always been more of the touchy-feely one, this was a little on the aggressive side for him. Was something wrong? I yanked on my arm, causing him to look back in question, but his hand only gripped mine tighter in response. I decided to laugh it off, trying to put whatever was going on with him at ease. “I can follow you pretty well with the two legs I’m using. I’m a big girl, you know.”

Before I knew what was happening, he’d boxed me up against the passenger door and leaned forward. He dropped his head until his nose brushed against the naked curve of my neck, and the skitter of tingles sent my cells into overdrive. Even with his mouth covered, his voice held a husky edge that made my skin pebble. “Then I wouldn't get to hold your hand, and what’s the fun in that?”

My eyes closed, picturing him going even further, pushing me up against the car as he ransacked my mouth with his. His hands would travel over my body while he whispered all the things he wanted to do to me, experience with me. Before I could get too deep into the fantasy, a bird chirped from its nest above, bringing me back to reality. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I acting like a teenager in heat? Was it because I hadn’t explored as much as others in my youth? Or was it just the Ambros brothers? What had they done to me?

While I was lost in thought over my hypersexual mind as of late, his lips feathered along my neck, sparking a need inside of me that I really didn’t want to focus on right now. I made a quick decision and grabbed the door handle behind me, telling my body we needed to create boundaries. My vagina disagreed, arguing that we needed to get some dick, but I resisted the urge to push my body into his.

Pop. The car door opened, which made Ravi freeze. He pulled back to look at me, then the car. He scratched his head and stepped back, looking away from me. “Oops, sorry. I didn’t know I was being too touchy.”

My heart sank at his lost expression. I didn't want that. In fact, I wanted the opposite of that. I wanted today to be fun and to have a good time with him. We didn’t really get a lot of outside time together, and I didn’t want to mess that up. I threw my head up to the sky, clutching my stomach as I said, “I knew you would find a way to bend the rules. That's one of your specialties, right?”

He eyed me for a second before his hands lowered and his face brightened. His normal boyish charm came on display even though he kept a foot of distance between our bodies. He used his finger to tip my chin up, then his eyes roamed my face like it was the last thing he wanted to see before he left this world. “While I’m known for breaking and bending the rules, I can follow boundaries when given to me. I’m a good puppy to my master.”

He said all of that with a sweet smile, but his eyes spoke a different tone, like I was meant to read between the lines of his words. He reached over, and although my breath hitched, I didn't move until he pulled open the car door and waved me in.

My lips fell into a tight, thin line. This was my fault. I had let my mind get the better of me, and now he was going to keep his distance because he thought that was my boundary. If only he knew what was going on in my head. A fire built in my stomach, mad at myself for causing him to feel like he couldn’t be himself with me.

I'd started to sit down when something came over me. Under my breath, I whispered, “Some rules and boundaries are meant to be bent or stretched. As long as you trust the other person, it's okay.”

I expected him to close the door, but when I looked up, his hands groaned against the car frame. He bent down, his face covered by the bill of his hat, but I could hear his rapid, shallow breathing. “Don’t test me, Rin” was all he said before he closed the door and took a slow, long walk to the driver's side.

Once he got in, I needed to do something to alleviate the tension. I buckled myself in and asked, “So where are we going?”

He took a breath as he started the car. Hands planted on the wheel, he looked through the rearview mirror. “The mall. It's the only place where I can get you some new clothes and a smoothie in one trip.”

My mouth fell open. “W-w-what?”

He winked at me, his face lifted on the sides, and I knew, even with the mask covering it, he was smiling. “Yep. Can’t have you wearing the same outfit as yesterday. Might give people the wrong idea, right?”

For some reason, that sounded like a probe for information. I narrowed my eyes on him, but he laughed and said this was non-negotiable so I should just get on board.

I’d been meaning to get another set of clothes, so I didn't really mind him taking me. He could give me some advice since I wasn’t particularly up to date on all the fashions do’s and don'ts. “Okay, but I’ll be the one paying for the outfit.” I refused to be a mooch.

He nodded and gave me a thumbs up. “You got it.”

I should’ve known that was too easy.

Chapter 18

I’d always considered myself a patient man. I mean, I’d been obsessing and fangirling over the deity called Layrin Smith for most of my life, so my actual time spent around her was incomparable to the length of my infatuation with her. While it was depressing to not be with her, to only be able to watch her through a lens or take pictures and stare at them for hours, there were advantages. Being that dedicated from afar had given me some insight that others around her, others that would dare to overlook, didn’t possess.

While Rin might not be the most articulate being, she did give hints. You just needed to be an expert in the special communication that was Rin. That was why, when I got her up against the car and she stiffened up, I thought it was my moment to make her understand that my feelings for her were not friendly.

It was just a test because if she knew the depths of my ardor, she would run as far and as fast away from me as possible. That was why I kept all my stuff locked up. Our relationship wasn't there yet. I needed her to love me before I let any of my disturbing hobbies come to light.

When her eyes closed, her neck flushed with red, I thought she understood. In that moment, my eyes snagged on her earlobe, and I was about to do something not friendly, but her jaw tensed just before a pained look crossed her face. As much as I hated to admit it, this wasn't my moment. When we crossed that bridge, I wanted her to want it. Want me.

Maybe I was trying to force something because of what Rion had told us this morning. Maybe I was dealing with several kinds of emotions I wasn’t used to, like how my mind went into hyper drive whenever Rin was around me. How my fingers itched to touch her when she was within arm's reach. How my body sought out hers, wanting to be the first one to sit, stand, or be next to her to capture her warmth.

I’d always had this constant pulsing need for her, but since she was far away, I was able to control it better. I could do what I needed to do—sit through one of my uncle’s lectures or carry out the duties for house Ambros without a hitch in focus—but now, with her around more often, that need was turning into a roaring monster. It called for my attention at all times of the day and night. This clawing desire didn’t just affect my mind, but also my body.

The only thing that could possibly stop me, make me hesitate and rethink, would be Rin and her emotions, so I decided to play it cool. To let it go and make sure that while we were out, I showed her the best time. Going back to the winning-her-over plan, I opened the door and motioned for her to get in. Be a gentleman. Women like gentlemen. They lust after the bad boy, but they eventually fall and become loyal to the gentlemen. That’s the end game.

“Some rules and boundaries are meant to be bent or stretched. As long as you trust the other person, it's okay.”

Her words sank into my psyche, ruining all of those careful gentlemanly plans. The beast inside rose up, wanting to answer her call. If I were a better man, I would laugh it off, joked about it in order to keep the rest of the day going in the direction I’d planned, but I wasn’t a better man.

Now, we sat in the car in silence, the radio the only sound. Stupid! Stupid, Ravi! It took everything inside of me not to bang my fists into the steering wheel just to make myself feel better. I wanted to apologize, to tell her I had done all that only because I loved her and would do anything she asked of me, but it felt like razor blades were stuck in my throat, preventing me from making anything worse.

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