Page 41 of Obsessions of the Heart

I wobbled my way over to the stool as I covertly wiped the drool from my face, glad that he had his back turned so I could collect myself. The room had become sweltering in two and a half seconds, and I knew for a fact it wasn't just because he was cooking dinner.

Silently fanning myself, I tried to calm my body while his attention was elsewhere. It was getting worse the more I hung out with them. Instead of the nightmares I was used to, I was starting to have sex dreams. Most of the time, they featured only one of them, but occasionally my overactive imagination had all three present. Once I started waking up damp, I realized it was getting out of control.

I needed to work this out of my system, but I trembled at the thought of hitting on any of them. If doing that caused a rift between the brothers or problems in our friendship, then I knew even if my body wanted it, the rest of me didn't. They meant more to me than a fling even though they were working up my libido like it was a balloon ready to pop.

Cin would tell me to fuck some rando to get it out of my system, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t have it in me to do that with someone I didn't know. Sex with strangers was not my bag. Every time I had done anything remotely sexual, it was with someone I not only knew, but could tell was actively trying to pursue me. With the brothers, I was constantly questioning whether those touches and looks were friendly or just my mind wanting more.

Rion turned around, holding a spoon with red sauce, forcing me to straighten up. He blew on it a few times to cool it down for me before he reached over. “Here. Tell me if it needs more salt.”

I leaned forward, mouth open, and he carefully placed the spoon on my lips. While his eyes were glued to my mouth, mine eyes were watching how his brows furrowed and his eyes brimmed with anticipation. Closing my mouth around the spoon, my eyes shut as I let the sauce coat my tongue. The sweetness of the tomatoes and the spiciness of the garlic smoothly blended together, and although the diced-up chunks of spicy Italian sausage burst in my mouth, the basil aftertaste soothed it.

Rolling my eyes, I moaned. “Oh my god, that's good. I'm not even joking. It's the best I’ve ever had.” Biting my lip, I was debating on asking him for another spoonful, simply for taste-testing purposes, when I looked up and was met with a dazzling smile that went from ear to ear.

The sight bewildered me, making my stomach become knotted. My tongue was tied up, and my brain was befuddled. It was so rare to see a true happy smile from him that I knew this was my kryptonite. If he asked me to do anything right now, my immediate answer would be yes. No questions asked.

He stuck the spoon in his mouth, licking up the sauce I’d left behind as he stared at me with hungry eyes. My breath hitched and my heart pounded. As subtle as I could, I rubbed my thighs together. He gave the spoon one more sensual lick before his deep, velvety voice said, “You’re right. It's damn good.”

We stared at each other, tension growing with each rise and fall of my chest. I was seconds from saying fuck it, about to launch myself over the island when the door opened.

“Rin, you here? Roux and I got drinks since he finished all of the ones you like.” Ravi’s voice was like a shot of cold water splashing me in the face. Abruptly, I leaned away, shaking my head to try to disperse the lustful thoughts from my brain.

Ravi zipped around the corner, dropping both plastic grocery bags as soon as he saw me. I saw only a flash of chest beneath his unbuttoned button-down before his arms wrapped around me, plastering himself to my body. It was a normal big, expressive hug for him, but with my heightened senses, I caught myself closing my eyes and taking a deep inhale of his sweet woodsy scent. Visions of him widening my legs with his body, rubbing himself against my center as he cooed sweet words in my ear, engulfed me.

The sound of Roux complaining about Ravi dropping the drinks brought me back to reality. What the fuck was I just thinking? I tightened my thighs and reminded myself that this was my friend Ravi. I needed to take a breather. My body stiffened up, and I patted him on the back, thanking him for the drinks before I excused myself. My feet swiftly brought me to the bathroom while my pride ignored just how quickly I was moving.

Turning on the faucet, I splashed cold water on my face, taking a few breaths before I looked in the mirror. “Calm the fuck down, Layrin. You're not a teenager. You are in control of your own body and feelings.” With each inhale, I focused on slowing down my heart rate.

It was simply attraction, and that was it. It was totally normal. We were all adults in our twenties. Having sexual thoughts and dreams about them was bound to happen. I just needed to make sure I kept that to myself. Kept it locked up inside so I didn’t disrupt the nice ecosystem we had going.

That's right. All of this will be fine as long as I keep it to myself.

When I finally felt like I was centered and ready to spend a fun, peaceful dinner with my three friends, the door rumbled. I yanked it open, ready to tell whoever it was that I was fine, but when my eyes connected with a set of narrowed eyes and a protective, crossed arms stance, tingles ran through my lower body. Curse these boys and their identical faces! Why does Roux have to look like a sexy, grumpy man?!

Swallowing hard, I barreled my way through Roux with clenched teeth. “I’m fine. Ready to eat.”

I couldn’t pay attention to his grumbly voice behind my back because I was already having a hard time holding myself in check. Keeping my head down, I plopped myself into a seat at the corner of the table, my back to the wall so I wouldn't have any surprise touches I couldn't see coming.

Glancing at the table, a bottle of uncorked red wine was in the center, so I snatched it up, along with one of the glasses. Yes. I needed something to calm my nerves and smooth out the jagged edges.

“Rin, are you—”

Filling up my glass, I turned to Ravi, smiling wide. “Of course. Just thirsty.”

His hesitant voice called me to look at him as I brought the wineglass to my lips. “We got you non-alcoholic drinks since you normally don’t…” He trailed off when I took my first long swig. At first, I wanted to grimace at the dryness of the taste, but that lasted until it filled my mouth. An unexpected sweetness lingered, finishing off smoothly at the end.

“That was surprisingly good.” I pointed to the bottle, taking another gulp before I continued. “And you are right, Ravi, normally I don’t, but that was because of my environment and the people in it. Being here with you three… I can trust you three, right?” There was an odd silence in the room before the brothers took a step toward me in unison.

It felt intimidating as well as exciting, having all of their attention on me at once, so I took another drink. Downing my glass, I reached for the bottle again, raising my eyebrow at them in question.

“Of course, Rin. You are always safe with us.” Rion watched me pour another healthy glass of wine. I was feeling much more loose, now able to sit down with the three of them, eat some good food, and have fun without all those intrusive thoughts. Rion pointed to the bottle. “Also save some for us. I picked that bottle out because it will pair well with the gnocchi.”

Putting the bottle down, I tilted my head and winked at him. “You got it. The rest is for you guys.”

Eyeing the bottle, Ravi picked it up with a chuckle. “Sure, half a bottle for the rest of us. Totally equal ratios.”

Giving him a sly smirk, I saluted them as I sipped at my full glass. I felt fine now, perfectly and completely fine.

Chapter 15

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