Page 1 of Obsessions of the Heart

Chapter 1

They said dark, wild storms were heralds of death and destruction, the omen of bad things to come. What if what was coming was bad for everyone but you? Did that make you worse than the storm?

In a small coal mining town in Virginia, down some dingy, dirty back roads, I was wide awake as the violent pounding of the rain pelted the walls and windows of the broken-down house. I was used to the snores and whimpers from the other girls in the orphanage, but all of those normal sounds were engulfed by the storm. The constant rumble of thunder that rattled this decomposing home made it very apparent that this was the place for the unwanted and undesirable, but you wouldn't think that from a distance.

From far away, the large Victorian-style house seemed massive and elegant, giving off a sort of Southern charm. Butting up to the woods for an open backyard, it seemed like the perfect enchanting playground for kids, but that was all a facade. All it took was being within a few yards to see the broken shutters, overgrown vines, and chipped paint covering the house like it had the pox. There were holes and loose floorboards scattered around the large wrap-around patio, making it dangerous for anyone to walk on if you didn't have practice. The quaint, magical house turned into something eerie, depressing, and uninviting.

A damp, cool mist filled the room, and the howling wind echoed throughout the space amidst the steady plops of drops in buckets. My bed was shoved up against a thin window that seemed like it was going to shatter at any moment. I dragged myself up, knowing I wasn't getting any sleep, so why try? Staring into the pitch-black abyss outside, mesmerized by the patterns made by fat raindrops on the window, when a set of flashing lights turned the corner, coming my way.

As if in a trance, my feet went to the ground, and I stood up, taking a few steps closer. A frigid cold pressed against my palms against the glass, my eyes tracked the lights in the darkness. As the lights bobbed around, I squinted, making out a truck coming down the road. Who the hell is coming here now?

The truck screeched as it flung around, spraying mud, so the bed of the truck was facing the front of the house. Whoever it was, was not here for a social call; they were already prepared to leave.

Narrowing my eyes, I tried to make out what was in the back of the truck, only able to see three mound-like shapes beneath a tarp. I slumped forward, guessing it was just a rush delivery from Matt, the farmer, down the street. He was the only reason we had any vegetables and milk for supper since he had a bleeding heart for orphans, but it was odd for him to make a delivery this late and in a storm.

Miss Vaughn's cranky, harsh voice yelled against the wind, "Let's go! I ain't comin’ out to get ya in this weather. Get your asses moving."

To my surprise, the three mounds shifted. They moved like a synchronized unit, never missing a beat. One went to lower the bed while another hopped out, helping the third down. They were cloaked in black hoodies, which made it impossible to see anything more than short, dark figures.

There was something off about these beings, something otherworldly. So close my hot breath fogged up the glass, I searched for any small clue to tell me what or who they were. Almost like they sensed my eyes on them, they turned my way in unison. I gasped, my whole body frozen, captured by their attention, and for just a moment, my knees felt weak and my breathing came out short and choppy. Miss Vaughn shrieked again, breaking our moment, and the mysterious beings moved toward her voice, taking their attention with them.

No.

I wanted that attention back. I needed to know who they were and why they were here. My body now ripped from their spell, I burst into action. Legs and arms scrambled around the room, making sure my feet didn't hit the creaky spots that would bring about Miss Vaughn's ire if she heard them.

My hand connected with the cool metal of the door handle before I slowly pulled on the door, cracking it open to peek out into the hallway. I just needed to get a glimpse. My curiosity wouldn't let me do anything else until I did. Miss Vaughn's cranky voice floated up the stairs, grumbling about having three more mouths to feed and being forced to bring in hoodlums because of her god damn good heart.

I rolled my eyes. I’ll believe that when pigs fly.

The steady thud of Miss Vaughn’s steps signaled how close she was, the noise getting louder as she drew closer. A tubular light shone against the wall, creeping up the stairs before Miss Vaughn came into view followed by the three hooded figures. Until that point, they had been silent, but suddenly, one sassed, "That and the state's money."

I winced, clutching the door in my hands. I knew what was coming next. She snapped around fast, yanking down their hoods as she bent over and glared. "Oh, you think you know how this works? Then I guess I won't have to feed you until that ‘state money’ comes in, right?"

I would've felt bad for them if I weren’t so transfixed by how beautiful the three boys were. Light brown hair with streaks of golden rays weaving around their heads in the light, their chins held high and eyes sparkling with defiance. I could tell right away they didn't belong here. They were too beautiful, too strong. Someone, somewhere, had to love them.

The air almost swirled around them like they were long-lost princes from a distant land, like everyone else was beneath them, and from where I was standing, we were.

One of the boy’s fists tightened, his body vibrating as Miss Vaughn reamed into the one who’d sassed her. He looked like he was ready to explode, to make more mistakes with Miss Vaughn, and I couldn't have that. Not on their first night. I reacted before I thought it through, stepping out and slamming the door to get her attention.

All four of them turned to face me. Miss Vaughn glared and snapped at them to go into the boys’ room, pick a bed, and go to sleep, then she stomped my way. I gazed past her lumbering, menacing form and was met with three sets of color-changing eyes that sparkled with browns, blues, and greens. Their faces no longer obscured by the hoods, I realized their eyes weren’t the only matching thing about them.

They were staring back at me, none of them moving like she’d told them to. My mouth pinched before I redirected my gaze to Miss Vaughn, flicking my fingers toward the boys’ room in a signal for them to go. They hesitated when Miss Vaughn began to bellow, spit flying out of her mouth. “Layrin! What’re you doin’ up? You know you’re not to leave your room after lights out!” She grabbed me by the collar, and my small body jerked around as she hauled me away violently. “If you want to be awake, then you might as well do it all night!”

I looked back to find the princes were still frozen, watching me. I swallowed hard as I looked up at Miss Vaughn and back to them. My brows furrowed, I mouthed go. I had done all of this so they wouldn't get an even worse punishment on their first day, and it would ruin all my good work if she caught them. They’d already had food taken away, and no one should have to face double punishment on their first day.

The one that had sassed Miss Vaughn nodded, tugged on the others’ sleeves, and pulled them toward the door to the boys’ room, and I sighed in relief. As long as they stayed in the room, the princes would be fine for the night.

She took me down the hall, stopping in front of a tall, thin cleaning closet. “Nosy girls get punished, Layrin. I hope you learn that while you stand here all night.” She shoved me into the closet and slammed the door shut, drenching me in darkness before I heard the click of the lock.

I hated confined spaces. They made the air thick and hard to breathe. I turned and hit the wall. Instinct had me whirling around until I hit each one, feeling like they were closing in on me. Eyes closed, I mumbled to myself, “It's okay, Layrin. Just breathe. You’ll be fine. Just last until the morning.”

I counted sheep, sang a song, and even tried to close my eyes and envision a happy place, but as soon as my breathing sped up, my heart pounding in my chest, I knew I wasn't going to win this one. Dark thoughts began to swirl in my head.

Alone. All alone. Always alone. No one loves you. Stuck in the darkness forever. Alone. Alone. Discarded. Unwanted. A burden. Alone. Always and forever.

A coppery taste filled my mouth, bringing me back to reality. No amount of cries or screams were going to help me. All I could do was calm down enough to sleep, to escape the voice that had been with me all my life, tormenting me with thoughts that I knew were true. The one that spoke all of my deepest fears and insecurities.

I shook my head to help me refocus and toed my foot around, trying to find space, but it was too full to sit down. The smell of Clorox filled the space, and my head began to grow fuzzy. I sighed, leaning against the wall. This wasn't my first time here, and I was betting it wouldn’t be my last. I moved the scattered brooms and mops into one spot, making an inch of room, and closed my eyes, prepared for a sleepless night of standing.

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