Page 71 of Play Along

I’m not entirely shocked Connor cheated on me. It’s not out of the ordinary for relationships in our world to be strictly for appearances as most unions are based on business arrangements. But I tried. I really did try to hold his attention.

Isaiah doesn’t touch the chips, just sits and waits for my answer.

I swallow a sip of my iced tea, unable to look at him when I say, “Both.”

“Jesus,” he exhales, falling back into the booth once again.

“I mean that in private, maybe we could be the same as we are in public. I’m doing this for myself so I can learn. We’re already trying to convince others of our fake marriage, so I don’t see why it would need to stop behind closed doors.”

I don’t really know what I’m asking of him. I don’t know where the line should be drawn. Kissing. Cuddling. Exploring. I’ll let him create his own conclusions and boundaries on that.

And then he does. “Are you asking me to fuck you, Kenny?”

Oh.

“Because I don’t know if I can handle that. Fucking you so you’re better prepared to fuck someone else.”

Isaiah’s brows are furrowed as if he hurt his feelings simply from his own conclusion. Sure, there was a part of me that thought the cocky playboy would jump at the chance if I asked him to fuck me. One and done, out of his system so he could move on from his little crush, but he seems almost hurt by the idea.

“I’m... I don’t know how to answer that. I haven’t thought that far, I guess.”

He runs a hand over his face. “Is this all because of Connor? I saw the way you were looking at him tonight.”

“This has nothing to do with Connor. Sure, there’s a part of me that’s hurt over the whole thing. He left me for someone who was physically what he wanted and who could touch him without overthinking it, but there’s a bigger part of me that’s thankful he ended things. He gave me the freedom to have the life that I want. And I wasn’t watching him. I was watching them. Together. I want to be comfortable and confident like that. I’ve never experienced intimacy. Communication. Exploring someone’s body and them exploring mine. Touching someone that I want to touch.”

Isaiah’s eyes soften with sympathy, a soft exhale leaving his lips. “Kenny, have you ever thought that maybe you’re not the problem? That maybe the issue is no one has ever let you feel safe and that’s why you’re not affectionate?”

Oh.

“I... I don’t know. I haven’t had the chance to test that theory.”

He swallows hard. “Why, of all people, do you want to test that theory on me?”

There’s a heavy pause between us in the crowded restaurant. “Because I trust you. I think I always have.”

A soft grin lifts on his lips as his eyes appraise me from across the booth. “I’ve always trusted you too. You did catch me crying in the women’s restroom on day one and haven’t mentioned it since.”

I chuckle. “You ever going to tell me what that was about?”

His leg brushes mine under the table. It’s light, but intentional, and I don’t move away.

“Maybe someday.”

He wraps his foot around my high heel, his calf rubbing the skin of my exposed leg. I lean into the touch, playing footsies with my husband under the table at the local Chili’s.

“I’ll do this if it’s really what you want, Ken.”

The server drops off our food, both of us ordering burgers. His with fries, but mine with a side of loaded mashed potatoes because they sounded good, and I’ve never been to a restaurant where you could order loaded mashed potatoes with your burger.

Isaiah doesn’t untangle his leg from mine as we begin eating.

“It’s what I want.”

“Okay.” He takes a massive bite and smiles over at me with a mouth full of his burger.

I do the same, and mumble with my mouth full, “Okay.”

Reaching across the table, I steal a handful of his fries.

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