Taking the papers from his hand, I set them on the sink behind him, getting them out of the way so I can move to stand between his legs, hands slipping around his neck, needing to touch him.
“I love you.”
He bends his arm back behind his neck to cover my hand with his own. Then he circles the ring I’ve never once taken off since he gave it to me. “God, after all this time, that feels unreal to hear you say.”
His words come out like a breath of relief, as if he can finally tell me how he feels, knowing I’ll say it right back.
His forehead falls to mine. “I love you, Kenny.”
Do what feels good.
This right here, this feels good.
It feels right.
All this time, I wanted to practice, plan, and schedule how it’d happen. I wanted to be perfectly ready for love when the time came.
But falling in love with Isaiah wasn’t a big, planned event. It was buying toothbrushes and providing food when I was too busy to eat. It was his mother’s ring and eating dinner together in a booth at Chili’s.
It was his patience and unwavering commitment to show me my importance in his life.
How lucky am I that I get to love and be loved so effortlessly?
My thumbs dust over his cheekbones as I begin the other speech I rehearsed this weekend.
“I have spent my entire life looking for validation, seeking attention, hoping for just a bit of acknowledgment that I exist, and you...” I shake my head. “You waltzed into my life and never left me alone.”
He huffs a dry laugh.
“Thank you.”
His fingers draw languid circles on my lower back, urging me to continue.
“I never had to beg for your attention, and I’m not sure you’ll ever fully understand how safe that became for me, knowing you were giving it to me willingly. I never had to ask you to see me, to understand me, and I’m sorry that I haven’t allowed you to be able to say the same. But I promise you, Isaiah, now that my eyes have been opened, I can’t keep them off you.”
His smile blooms, this devastating grin that lights up the whole room.
That’s him, though. He’s all good. Contagiously bright.
Bright enough to shine light on my untouched, undiscovered corners. The parts of me that no one else took the time to look for. He gave me the confidence and the security to come alive with him, to never once have to question his sincerity.
It’s not lost on me how rare he is.
“I um...” I clear my throat. “I feel like I don’t deserve to be as happy as you make me.”
He exhales a sympathetic breath of a laugh. “Oh, Kennedy.”
“I just feel really lucky.”
“It’s not luck, baby. The good things in your life are there because of you. You are good and smart and capable and so fucking deserving, Kenny. Yes, I’ve known all that for years, but I think for the first time ever, you’re finally seeing it for yourself.”
He leans in and kisses me, softly pressing his lips to mine. So unhurried, so patient, as if we have all the time in the world.
And we do. Only he doesn’t know that yet.
“When do you leave?” he whispers against my lips. “How much time do we have?”
I run my hands down his torso. “I’m not.”