Page 178 of Play Along

“Tell me about it. Other than Kennedy, they’re all the fucking worst. And I didn’t understand how my life was shit and yours wasn’t. You had everything I wanted, and I hated you for it.”

“Me?” I ask in disbelief. “I had nothing. You were the one with all the best baseball gear. New cars. Fuck, you even took every girl I had ever liked. I showed up to games on a city bus. I shared gear with my brother and half the time it didn’t even fit.”

“You had a brother who cared about you. Who would do anything for you, and you’d do the same for him. People loved you.”

I could try to argue the fact, but he’s not wrong. Kai and I would do anything for each other, and I’ve always had the desperate need to make myself enjoyable to be around for other people. From Dean’s perspective, I was a naturally likable guy, but he didn’t know I spent my entire life making myself easy to digest. Always bringing the fun and laughs even when I didn’t necessarily want to.

“My dad threw his credit card at me to make up for being absent,” he continues. “And the one and only game he ever came to, we played against you guys, and he didn’t have a single thing to say about me afterward, but he fucking raved about you. I hated you for it. I took it out on you for a long time and I’m sorry for that.”

Across the hall, Dean holds his hand out for me to shake.

“Damn. Kennedy really did a number on you, huh?”

“I’ve never seen her so mad.”

For her I want to forgive him, but even more so, for myself. I just don’t care anymore, not when I feel like I finally have everything I’ve ever wanted.

So, I shake his hand.

“Just how pissed were you when you found out about us?” I ask, amusement lacing my tone.

“Oh, don’t even get me started. I finally had someone in this fucked-up family who I enjoyed being around and she goes and marries you of all people.” He huffs a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “I was livid. And not just because it was you, but because of what she went through, only to end up married to someone else she didn’t want to be with.”

“I get it.”

“But you don’t, Rhodes. I don’t know what she’s told you about growing up the way she did, but I had to sit back and watch it all. In the early years, when our parents first arranged for her to marry Connor, she used to cry herself to sleep at night. I’d hear it through my bedroom wall, then each morning, she’d act as if nothing happened. Once we got close enough, she finally admitted how unhappy she was, but in the same breath would also say she didn’t know what happiness even felt like. How fucked up is that?”

She’s happy now, I try to remind myself.

Sure, she didn’t get the job she dreamed of. Didn’t get the fresh start she wanted. Didn’t get to try her hand at dating.

But she has me, and she seems happy.

Right?

“One day,” Dean continues, “she got the courage to beg her mother to let her out of that arrangement, and she’s such a perfectionist, you know. That includes all those years she spent trying to be the perfect daughter, so you could imagine how difficult that was for her to do.

“I’ve never seen someone get verbally berated the way she was. She was called selfish, ungrateful. The list goes on. And of course, I felt guilty because the only reason she was in this predicament in the first place was because of me. I didn’t want to take over the family business, so she had to marry someone who would.”

My stomach churns at the visual of that little unhappy auburn-haired girl.

She’s happy now, I repeat to myself.

“I can’t explain how relieved I was when he ended things,” Dean says. “She finally got a bit of freedom to go do whatever she wanted, whatever would make her happy. She finally had the space to figure out what happiness looked like for her, and for the first time in her life, she was allowed to make her own decisions. So, you could imagine how furious I was when I found out you guys got fucking married and all of a sudden, Kennedy was trapped in another relationship she didn’t want.”

His words hit me square in the chest.

I did that. I trapped her in a relationship she didn’t want. I wouldn’t give her the annulment she wanted. I came up with the scheme to save her job. And for what? She didn’t get her dream job and now she’s stuck working for that piece-of-shit doctor again.

The past few days I’ve been selfish as fuck, basking in the idea that I get to have it all. Her, this city, my family.

And what does she get?

“From what she told me, she wanted to start over in a new city, get the job she deserves, and someday, hopefully meet someone. So, yeah, I was pissed when I found out that once again, it was all taken away from her. But I was wrong. Clearly, she doesn’t feel trapped. Clearly, she wants to be with you.”

“I don’t know about that.” My tone holds no inflection, my eyes fixated on the floor. I’m standing here like a zombie as too many realities I didn’t want to see are sinking in. “Maybe she just doesn’t have another option.”

“What are you talking about? She turned down that job offer in San Francisco to be with you. She had another option, and she didn’t want to take it.”

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