Page 122 of Play Along

We take our seats, Kennedy to my left and Miller to my right with Monty and Max across the table.

Arthur Remington says a few words, welcoming the crowd and introducing my brother before stepping to the side and giving him the stage.

Kai clears his throat before leaning down to the mic, pulling out his notecards from his suit jacket, then bracketing his hands on either side of the podium. “First off, I want to say thank you to the Remingtons for hosting this night. I’ve worked under different team ownership before, have had teammates of mine tell me about their experiences, and it’s no question that here in Chicago, we’re lucky to have such generous team owners. So, thank you.”

My brother pauses, clapping for the crowd to join him, and once it dies down, he begins again.

“I want to say thank you to everyone who took the time to come here tonight. My teammates who weren’t too stoked to dress up.” The crowd laughs. “The team staff who we couldn’t play this game without, and my family who are the center of my world.” His attention goes right to Miller.

“Three thousand strikeouts is a milestone I never dreamed of reaching. There are some legends who came before me that did the same, and I wouldn’t dare imagine putting myself in the same category as them. They paved the way for me to be here tonight, so I want to say a huge thank you to the nineteen guys who did this before me.” He flips to his next notecard. “Some of you are players that I grew up idolizing, and I know for certain that I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you sparking a dream in me to play this game as well.”

Kai exhales a deep breath, clearing his throat. “To my son.” His attention swings to Max with a smile. “Who is about to pass out on Monty’s shoulder because it’s past his bedtime. You are by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. I once thought that my life goal was to play this game, maybe break some records, and hope that my body would allow me to do it long enough that I got my fill, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. You are everything I didn’t know I needed, and you bring this contagious joy and meaning to my life every single day.”

I catch Miller wipe her cheek out of my periphery.

“I couldn’t think of a better group to raise my son around.” Kai nods, looking over our teammates. “There are not enough words I could say to thank my teammates for getting me through his first year. When I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, you all were there, offering babysitting or bringing me groceries. Cody even learned how to change a diaper for me, and I’m not sure he’s ever fully forgiven me for that one.”

The crowd laughs again.

“But the biggest person who helped me with him that first year was this guy right here.” He points to Monty. “Before I was picked up by Chicago, I had only ever played for field managers or coaches who were just that—coaches. Outside of baseball, they didn’t necessarily worry about you or care about you. But this guy.” Kai clears his throat and I just know he’s trying to choke back his emotion. “This guy is not only my coach, but he’s also my sounding board, he’s a father figure to me and my brother, and most importantly, he’s my friend. They don’t make them much better than Emmett Montgomery, and I’ll be forever grateful that Chicago drafted my brother because that’s the whole reason I’m here in a place where I got to meet him and his daughter. And lucky for Monty, he’s stuck with me forever because he’s not only my coach, he’s also about to become my father-in-law.”

Monty nods, tongue in cheek as he rocks Max to sleep, but it’s obvious to anyone who can see him that his eyes are glossed over.

“Which brings me to Miller.” Kai’s got a smile on his face when he turns his attention to her. “Goddamn, I love this crazy woman.” A small laugh settles over the crowd. “You are the second greatest thing to ever happen to me and I know you understand what I mean when I say that because you feel the same way.” Miller quickly nods in agreement, looking up at him. “Who would have thought that a single elevator ride would bring us to where we are today?” He chuckles at the memory. “Thank you for loving me. For loving Max. Thank you for coming home when you were ready. Thank you for making me laugh when I forget to and thank you for supporting my dreams all while chasing your own. You are the absolute light of my life, and I cannot believe I get to spend the rest of my days with you.”

Miller wipes at her cheeks, as does her dad. As does half the crowd as my brother speaks, but I keep it in. Knees bouncing, throat clogged with emotion. I don’t want my team to see me like that. They’ve never seen me like that. I’m the fun one. The goofy one. The one that never lets anything get to him, but I don’t know how the fuck to hold it back when I know exactly what’s coming next.

“With that being said,” Kai continues, “Miller and I have some new dreams we are looking forward to chasing. I’ve thrown out the retirement conversation a few times over the years, but most of that was due to feeling like I needed to clear time so I could take care of my responsibilities. Feeling bogged down and unable to juggle everything at once.”

Kai pauses, looking right at me. We talked earlier this week. I know this announcement is coming, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

“I’m officially announcing my retirement from professional baseball.” A murmur begins over the crowd, but he continues. “But I want you all to know that it has nothing to do with feeling bogged down or trying to find enough time to take care of everyone else. It’s with absolute joy that I get to leave this career I love so much to do something I love even more, and that’s to be there for my family. I’m looking forward to supporting my future wife in her career and getting to work on giving Max some siblings.”

Kai chuckles, though a bit choked, and it breaks the tension in the crowd when they begin to laugh too.

“I feel honored that I’m stepping away from this game to be a present husband and father. It’s truly my favorite job I’ve ever had.”

The crowd claps for him, but I can’t. I’m happy for him. Happy for Max and Miller too. But I have played baseball with my brother for almost thirty years, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep playing without him.

He holds his hand up to settle the group. “There is one last person I still need to address.” His attention finds me, but he instantly breaks eye contact, taking a moment to gather himself as he holds the podium with both hands, stretching back, head down. When he looks up again, it’s clear a few tears have already fallen behind his glasses.

“There’s one single reason I have loved this game for my entire life. It’s not the winning, the strikeouts, the fans, or the glory. I have loved baseball because of my brother. Isaiah was four years old and I was six when we first joined the same t-ball team. He wasn’t technically old enough yet, but I told our mom I wasn’t going to play unless he was out there with me. And it’s been that way for us ever since. He and I together.”

Lip tucked under my teeth, I nod in agreement, the burn sharp in my nose, the sting evident behind my eyes. I want to hold it in front of these people. I want to hide in the restroom so I could cry the way I want to.

But when Kennedy slips her hand between mine and my thigh, lacing our fingers together and squeezing my palm in encouragement, I can’t hold back any longer.

I quickly assess the area around me. There are no team owners watching us, only her looking at me. Being there for me.

I hold her hand tighter as the first tear falls.

I hate you for this, I mouth to my brother on the stage.

He laughs, tears still falling down his cheeks because he’s never been afraid of admitting when things are sad or hard or hurtful.

“As much as I love this game, what I’ll miss most is sharing the field with you. Traveling with you. Spending every single day with you. How lucky am I that I got a best friend and a brother all at once? There are things no one else will understand besides us. Things we experienced, people we lost, and the entire time, our goal was to be here, in this league together. Well, we did it, little brother. You and me, and you were right. It feels good when you end it like this.”

A choked sob shakes my chest, but I hold back the noise. It does nothing, though, to keep the tears from streaking my cheeks. I don’t even want to know what my teammates are going to think after seeing me this way.

---