Page 20 of Knot Your Business

“The Alpha,” I say.

She tilts her head. “Oh. You said his name like you’d met him before. Sorry. Continue.”

I nod. “I did meet him before. He was one of the Alphas assigned to me at the Haven last fall.”

Her eyes widen. “And you didn’t die of embarrassment? I would have hidden in the bathroom all night if something like that happened to me.”

Which was precisely why she had chosen the suppressants, and I had chosen to ride out my heats by whatever means necessary.

“It’s not really any different than running into a one night stand. And it’s way safer on my side of things.”

Typically, at least. The Haven is really strict about birth control and testing. Accidents happen, but they’re rare. I suppose that’s another fun thing I can add to the Only Happens to Violet list.

I shove thoughts of March aside and spin the empty glass tumbler on the table.

“Anyway, we were having a good conversation. I was starting to relax. I thought he was going to ask about dancing or something. And then I saw Jasper crossing the room, and I panicked. So I ducked into a larger crowd of people just coming off the dance floor and heading toward the food.”

My throat closes up as I remember seeing Jasper, his eyes wild and his hands shaking, as he confronted Rylan. Faedra grabs my hand, squeezing my fingers until my breathing slows down again.

“Turns out, Jasper’s part of his pack.”

Faedra grimaces. And then I tell her the worst part of it all, the part that’s made the last day an absolute nightmare scenario.

“I didn’t hear everything that was said. But what I did hear was… awful. It was awful, Fae.”

She nods. “You don’t have to repeat it.”

But I think I do. Having someone else know… it helped being able to admit to her how much I liked Rylan. “He said that matching with me is the absolute worst thing that can happen.”

Her concern drops away, her eyes flashing with a rarely seen hatred. “What the actual hell, Violet? And the Council thought you guys were a good idea?”

I have nothing to offer. I’m just as confused as she is over the whole thing. What could the Council possibly have seen that made them convinced this was the best course of action? Unless someone’s trying to use me to get back at my mom? Doesn’t the Council have safeguards against things like that?

I’ve been thinking in circles all fucking day, and my head aches. I drop my head onto my arm and close my eyes. I could really use a second drink. When I mutter as much, Faedra laughs and heads toward the bar. She’s quiet when she returns and presses a second Old Fashioned into my limp grasp.

I throw back this one just as fast as the first and then drop my head again.

“That’s your last one,” Faedra murmurs. “You have your last final tomorrow, and you cannot be showing up late for it.”

I laugh, though it’s heavy with the same despair I’ve been feeling.

“Pretty sure I’ve done my best work in that damn chemistry class hungover,” I mutter, glancing up at her. “Remind me why I thought a fucking biomedics degree was the best option?”

“Because you weren’t sure you were going to ever consent to matching when you declared it, and when you realized you might actually decide to let the Council control your fate, you were too far invested to change it.” Faedra’s voice is dry. The effect is lost when she giggles a moment later, though. “And also because you saw the first essay I had to do for that Ancient Western Asia class and decided you’d rather make your eyes go crossed looking at numbers.”

Eight pages of talking about Mesopotamia. Eight. Pages. How did anyone manage to have enough to say about fucking Mesopotamia to fill that much space? I’ll take the numbers and headaches, thank you.

A microphone feeds back, cutting through the din of the bar, and I groan.

How did I forget Wednesdays were karaoke night? The first guy isn’t too bad, all things considered. But the second person makes me want to hide out in the bathroom.

“Are you going to fight the match?” Faedra asks, talking over the woman’s second attempt at timing the chorus even remotely right.

I should have. And yet…

I shake my head.

Faedra’s pursing her lips when I muster up the courage to actually look at her, rolling my forehead along my arm until she’s in my line of sight. I cock one eyebrow, and she sighs.

---