Page 100 of Knot Your Business

“It’s Thursday,” he says as he rolls and grabs his phone from the bedside table, glancing at the screen before setting it back down. The sheet drops low enough to put the hard, defined line of his Adonis belt on display. My core clenches, and my cheeks heat as my scent redoubles in the room. “And it’s eleven in the morning.”

I breathe through the shaking need for him, trying to focus on whatever will get me through this part of the surfacing. Thursday. Paperwork was due Wednesday. That means the annulment is final. I’m a matchless Omega.

The thought rings through me like a death knell.

I should take a shower and get dressed. I should call Faedra and see how her camping trip went. I should check with the Council about what happens now that I’m classified as matchless in their system. I should contact the universities and rescind my applications.

I should… I should…

“Breathe, Sirena.” His voice is too warm, too much like safety when I know it isn’t.

I shake my head, more tears falling. Fuck, I hate coming out of a heat. Everything feels so raw and hyperaware. Is this worse than normal? It feels like it. Maybe because it was forced. Is a nastier drop out of the heat also part of the risks of forcing a heat? I’m not sure. I never bothered looking up the side effects.

“I’ll get out of your way,” I mutter, twisting away from him. It doesn’t matter that it’s my nest and that really he should be the one leaving. I can’t stand the idea of him getting angry with me again.

He sits up and shakes his head before I can manage more than a few inches toward the edge of the bed. The muscles of his stomach ripple with the movement, his hand held out toward me but not actually grabbing me. I ease away from him, keeping my hands tucked against my chest.

“We need to talk,” he says, his accent thicker than normal.

Panic settles in my stomach like a stone. I swallow down bile and shake my head. I can’t. Not right now. I can’t hear him tell me he’s happy I’m annulling the match, that he gets Jasper all to himself again without me being here. I can’t hear him tear me down for things that I simply cannot control about my body and its responses to his.

“I need to check in with Jasper,” I argue, trying to find an excuse that he’ll believe enough to let me leave. I drop one leg over the side of the bed and clutch at the blanket to keep it from getting twisted up.

His jaw clenches, a muscle ticking along his neck.

“Take a shower first,” he says, leaning back on an elbow. “He’s out running.”

I take the chance.

Why the fuck is he even still in here with me? Had he accidentally fallen asleep?

My pussy throbs with the memory of him fucking me, the muscles still sore from when he knotted me last. The sensations blur with those of Rylan until I can’t quite manage to separate out the individual experiences. Except for one. I remember Jasper being part of one of them, his hands gentle in my hair and his lips insistent against mine.

Another wave of desire rushes through me, my scent growing stronger again. Dropping my head, I duck into the en suite and shut the door behind me.

This shower is nearly identical to the one in my room, so it’s easy enough to figure out how to get it spitting out water despite not actually spending any time in the nest at all. I chance looking in the mirror and can’t quite manage to hold back the flinch. Nearly every inch of my skin is covered in bruises and love bites. One in particular along my shoulder seems the freshest, the crescent shape a deep, angry purple. Dread and pride twist together in my stomach until I can practically taste it.

The water is warm, the heat of it fogging up the mirror and shower doors and obscuring my reflection.

Thank fuck.

I force my mind to empty as I step under the spray and kick the sheet aside. Breathe through the nose and out through the mouth. I press a finger into a bruise until it hurts, using the pain to ground me as the panic rises in my chest. Time slips away from me, my eyes open but seeing nothing, that intrinsic need growing louder every second the men’s scents wash away.

I’m not entirely sure how long I’ve been standing there, the water never growing any colder, when the door opens. I flinch, twisting toward the intrusion, and breathe out a half-sob when I see Jasper’s messy blond hair and solemn blue eyes. He crosses the room and holds a hand out to me, not saying anything as I let him turn off the water and guide me out from under the comforting spray. He wraps one of the towels hanging on the wall around me before pulling me into his chest, his lips feathering across my temple.

That ache is back in my chest, that need for contact slicing through me as thoroughly as every nasty word my mother’s said. My breath hitches, and his arms tighten.

“Let it out, love,” he murmurs.

I shake my head and press my lips into his chest, keeping everything locked inside me. The moment I let it out, I won’t be able to stop.

I can’t risk that vulnerability. Not when I’m only hours away from having to walk away from him. It’s so much worse knowing that he doesn’t want to lose me, either. How can I possibly lose him a second time and still manage to get myself off the floor?

Maybe I can convince Dad to let me have access to my trust despite my mom’s anger. Maybe Faedra will let me stay with her for a bit while I try to figure out what to do. Maybe…

Fuck, but I don’t want maybes. I want to stay here with Jasper and Rylan. And it’s too fucking late for me to do that.

“Get dressed.” His voice scrapes over me. He’s quick to slide a dress over my head. I hadn’t even realized he’d brought it in with him. “Do what you need to feel comfortable. Come out when you’re ready. I’m going to get you some food.”