Page 66 of Collide

“No.” He didn’t have to. I know he thought it. Vernon always did the right thing. He was always strong.

“It’s not your fault, baby.” Noah’s thumb brushed his cheek. “You are the strongest person I know. Even being here with me; that’s so fucking strong, Coop. God, when we were kids, I looked up to you, so much. You were this light in the darkness, this bright spot that always made everything better. When you spoke, people listened. Everyone loved you. They still do. Why can’t you see all that you are? When I left, that was what kept me going. You’d been through so much more than me, but you kept going. I wanted so fucking badly to be just like you.”

Noah’s words pumped through him. They echoed through his head, pulsed blood through his heart. “I ran straight to your house when I got home that weekend. I wanted to tell you about the game. It felt like I lost everything when I found that house empty. You say I was all those things to you, but you were them as well, to me. I wonder,” Cooper paused, but then decided he didn’t give a shit how this sounded—it was real and honest and he wanted Noah to know it-- “Hell, maybe in some way I was even in love with you back then.”

Noah sucked in a deep breath. “What?”

“I said I’m in love with you, Noah. Don’t pretend you don’t know, to hear me say it again.”

Noah didn’t laugh as he’d hoped. This would have been a lot easier if he did.

“I love you too, Coop. I’ve always loved you.”

Cooper let out a breath, he didn’t realize he held.

After that, the room when silent. Noah didn’t move from under him, so Cooper rested his head on Noah’s stomach again, still lying with Noah’s legs around him.

They went to sleep, holding each other, the way he hoped they always would.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

The two weeks after they got home, everything went at warp-speed. Cooper worked a couple of extra shifts, on top of his regular schedule. He was exhausted, but he also wanted to be there to help Noah as he put in hours into his new workshop. Cooper had wanted to do this for Noah, so it hadn’t felt right that the other man spent time out there alone. So any time that he could, he spent sanding, building and painting with Noah.

They’d gone in for Noah to fill out the paperwork on the lease for the store, so everything was lined up for him to get to work. He had to make a trip back to California to empty his storage unit, which held all his tools and also some pieces that he had already made.

“I feel bad you have to make the drive back by yourself,” Cooper told him. Noah was flying to California, but then he’d rent a truck to haul everything back. “It sure would make the drive easier if you had someone else to take shifts with you.” They were standing in the kitchen. Cooper had gotten off work not long before. He’d taken a shower, and then come downstairs to see Noah making dinner.

“Don’t worry about it. You can’t get the time off. The drive isn’t going to kill me. I just made it a few months ago. Plus, I don’t mind driving. It’s sort of relaxing.” Noah nodded toward the table. “Sit down. We’ll figure out the bills and everything while the food finishes cooking.”

Cooper rolled his eyes. Noah was insistent that if he was going to be staying here, well, they hoped forever, that they had the bills split more equally. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“No, I want this to be equal, Coop. I’m living in your house and working off your property. I don’t mind. It’s not that, but I also won’t feel like I’m living off you. We’re in this together, all the way.”

“Don’t want to be my, what? Kept boyfriend?” Cooper laughed. Boyfriend. Whoa. He never thought he’d have one of those. “You know how much money us fire fighters make. You probably have more in the bank than I do.”

Cooper sat down, putting his feet up on the chair across from him. Noah stepped up behind him, his hands on Cooper’s shoulders. “That’s not the point. Now shut up and humor me.” He bent and kissed the side of Cooper’s neck. “But I like hearing you call me yours.”

Aaaand, just like always, Cooper’s dick perked to attention at the sound of Noah’s voice. “If we’re going to do this, we need to do it. I’d much rather fuck.”

He never got enough of Noah. He’d taken Noah a couple times these two weeks, but usually it was Noah inside him. He loved knowing his lover had him in a way no one ever had, or would.

“Horny bastard.” Noah said next to him. They wrote out all the bills and evened everything out. They’d halved the expenses, each of them paying specific utilities. In his way, he wondered if that was Noah trying to make things more permanent between them. Not that they weren’t, but like he wanted it in stone. Cooper humored him, even though where he was concerned, they were already in stone, cemented, written in the fucking stars, or whatever you wanted to say.

There was only one dark cloud having over them—and Noah didn’t even know the extent of it. Not only did his aunt and uncle not know he was in love with another man. They still didn’t know Noah was here. That made him feel like shit more than anything else. Noah had made another comment about how excited he was to see Cooper’s family, Autumn especially, yet he didn’t think Noah would get the reception he assumed. Well, from Autumn maybe, but not Vernon.

Cooper crossed his arms, trying to focus on the smell of the stew in the crockpot instead of his guilt. “I’m talking to Vernon and Autumn while you’re gone.”

Noah leaned over and nuzzled his neck. “I don’t feel right about your talking to them without me. It shouldn’t all come down on you. I should be there. Maybe…maybe it’ll help them understand better since it’s me. They know how much we meant to each other. They practically helped raise me for three years. That has to count for something.”

It wouldn’t. Not with Vernon. What Cooper didn’t understand, was why.

Cooper shook his head. This was something he needed to do alone. He wouldn’t risk Noah getting hurt by how things would very likely go down. “I need to do this. Plus, you leave tomorrow. I know you don’t want to put off getting your stuff any longer than you already have.”

“And what about everyone else? Are you ready for people to know? It’s going to look strange, baby. I live with you. I have a shop on your property. It’s going to look permanent.”

“That’s because it is. I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t want this to be okay with my family, because I do. It won’t stop me but…I don’t want to lose them either. Regardless, they raised me. And I’m not going to pretend it won’t cause some shit at work, too. We both know it will, but this?” He put his hand on Noah’s leg. “We’re more important. Fuck everyone else. I love you.”

He could feel the switch in Noah instantly. See the fire in his eyes and the need on his face. “I love you, too. Now get your ass upstairs. After tonight, it’s going to be way too long before I get to fuck you again.”

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