Page 53 of Collide

Noah winked at him. “That’s cuz David never fucked me.”

This time, it was Noah who tried to pull away, but Cooper who grabbed him, holding him in place. “What do you mean he never screwed you?”

Noah shrugged. “I don’t usually bottom. I did a couple times in the beginning but I’ve always preferred being a top. It didn’t always go over well, but David knew I wouldn’t let him have me.”

Coop’s blue-eyed stare pierced him; seemed to dig deep like he was trying to find out Noah’s secrets. Wasn’t like Noah wouldn’t give them to the man, either. All he had to do was ask. Noah had always told him everything.

Again, Noah tried to look away but Coop grabbed his chin the way he’d done to Cooper earlier. “You didn’t say anything. I just thought… Why didn’t you tell me?”

Noah jerked free of his grasp. “Come on, Coop. You know the answer. If I had told you, if I’d said I wanted to fuck you, would we be here right now? Hell, when I said I wanted us to fuck you got nervous because you thought I wanted your ass. And I do, make no mistake about that.” Noah curled a hand under Cooper. “But I get it. You’re still trying to work your way through being with me at all. You weren’t ready.”

This conversation was getting to be too much. He wanted to pass the hell out like he usually did after sex or get started again. The talking, he couldn’t handle right now.

“And being with me was more important than anything else, huh?” There was laughter in Coop’s voice but seriousness in his eyes. Noah could see him trying to work it out. Trying to play things lightly but also really wanting the answer…and probably fearing it, too. Would it make him run? Too much too fast, or put strings around Cooper Bradshaw, when everyone knew he didn’t want them?

The thing was, Noah wasn’t a runner. Cooper asked, so he was going to give him the truth. “Yes. I’ve already broken my own rules to be with you, Coop. That was just another one. Just like when we were kids, I can’t deny you anything.” He didn’t want to.

“What are you doing to me?” Cooper asked, before pushing a hand through Noah’s hair, leaning forward and kissing him. He pushed forward and Noah let him take control until he was on his back with Cooper on top of him. “Everything about you…I feel it on a level I’ve never had with anyone else. It’s not the way we touch or how you taste or the way we look together. It’s you, Noah.”

“That’s good,” Noah smiled. “Because I told you earlier, if we did this, that made you mine.”

“But what if I want you to be mine?” Cooper moved his hips, their cocks touching and hardening again.

“Are you sure that’s what you really want?”

“Fuck yes…” Cooper closed his eyes, thrusting his hips harder. “Which means, that bastard needs to stay away from you.”

Noah cupped his friend’s ass, holding him in place. Coop opened his eyes again. “I wasn’t there to fuck him. I wanted you. His sister is dying and he needs a friend.”

Emotions washed over Cooper’s face, before he gave Noah a simple nod in understanding.

Noah smiled. “Now get me off again or let me go to sleep.”

Coop chose the former.

***

A couple days had passed since Cooper came to terms with the fact that at thirty, he was not only in his first relationship, but it was with another man. He didn’t know if it made him gay or what. All he knew was, he wanted Noah. He needed Noah.

They still had things to work through. Noah seemed to understand that Cooper was in this as much as Noah, but he wasn’t ready to go public yet. It made his gut twist to ask that of Noah, but he didn’t know what else to do. He had so much to figure out—how to deal with the guys at the station when they found out. And, his uncle. Even though things were fucking incredible, they were still a mass of confusion in his head.

And he needed to talk to Vernon and Autumn first, something Cooper had to do the right way, at the right time.

He knew that and though he hated it, Noah agreed with him. They were figuring this whole thing out between the two of them, before they went public.

“But not long, Coop. I won’t do it for very long…”

Coop knew he shouldn’t have to. And he wouldn’t. Cooper would find a way to make this all work out so his family would understand—he didn’t give a shit about anyone else. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t have to be careful about how he went forward, but ultimately, he didn’t give a shit what they thought.

Cooper stood under the spray of the shower at the firehouse. They’d gotten back not long ago from a call, sooty water, trickled down the drain beneath him. His body was hot, overheated little flashes of the red flames dancing behind his eyes.

He shook his head, trying to dislodge the picture. He loved his job. Loved being the one who went in now, rather than the one who ran out, but that didn’t mean each and every fire he’d been in, wasn’t engraved into his mind. That each one didn’t remind him of the one he ran from.

Once he was clean, Coop turned off the water and grabbed a towel. He wrapped the towel around his waist before sitting on one of the benches, by the lockers. He dropped his head back, and closed his eyes. One week. It was a little over one week until the anniversary of their death.

“How ya doing, man?”

He looked over to see Braden fall down beside him. He’d already showered and wore a pair of jeans and nothing else. “Tired. It was a long night.”

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