Page 49 of The Devils' Darling

But he nods. “I will be.”

Then he turns away and keeps going.

Tino has to see his men back to the airfield. I’m aware I probably wouldn’t have made it out of this alive without them, and I take a moment to thank them for their help and say goodbye.

Seeing Valentino at the head of his men has made me reassess who he is. I can see the man he’s going to become in the next ten years—strong, and powerful, and not to be fucked with. I hope he won’t lose that playful side, though.

Dom doesn’t leave my side for a second. I feel like if someone says so much as one wrong word to me, he’ll beat the shit out of them. I had caught Nataniele narrowing his eyes at his son earlier, and I remind myself to tell Dom to chill.

I know it’s not going to be easy. The last thing I feel is chilled. It’s as though every cell in my body is trembling and jarring within me.

We watch Tino and his men leave, and then Dom and I go up to my room.

The first thing I do is go to the drawer in my nightstand and take my meds. It’s a huge relief. If I’d gone much longer without them, I’m sure the small seizure I’d had would have become a big one.

Dom goes into the bathroom and turns on the shower. Working carefully, as though I’m a fragile china doll that might break, he undresses me. He pulls his t-shirt up over my head, and then turns me around so he can undo the buttons on the back of my dress.

“Burn it,” I tell him, stepping out of it and kicking it away.

He nods. “I will.”

I’m naked now, but he doesn’t touch me or look at me in that way. I stand under the water while he washes my hair and soaps down my body with strong, firm fingers. When I’m clean, I step out, and he wraps me in a towel then guides me to my bed. My hair is still damp, but I don’t care. I’m too exhausted to think about blow-drying it now. We lie, side by side, and he folds me into his arms and holds me.

“Will Kirill be all right?” I mumble against his chest.

“Hush, don’t worry about Kirill right now.” He strokes my hair in a soothing pattern. “Just get some rest, and then we’ll go and meet them in the den. You’ll feel better after you nap.”

I’m powerless against it. My eyelids are heavy, and my limbs seem to sink into the mattress.

“I’m frightened I’ll dream of that place,” I tell him, my voice already distant.

“If you do, I’ll be right here. I’ll always be here for you, to scare away your nightmares.”

I believe him, too. “Thank you,” I murmur.

His arms tighten around me. “I love you, Mack. I’m so fucking sorry for the things I did to you. I wish I could go back and change everything. I’d kill the man I was when you first came here for treating you the way I did. I love you so much.”

I try to bring the words to my lips, but they fade away as I sink into oblivion.

I love you, too.

Chapter 18

Kirill

I take my time under the shower.

It’s surreal being back within the comfort and safety of the Verona Falls grounds. The place never truly felt like home to me, but now my room is the lap of luxury. Just having the hot running water of the shower and privacy is heaven. My nose throbs, and my entire body aches. I think it’s from holding myself so tense for so long during the entire ordeal in that basement.

The gothic walls of this old building that sometimes used to be creepy now feel like a fortress. The high fences are my friend, not my jailor. The labyrinthian layout, so confusing to a new student, is now reassuringly hard to navigate for anyone breaking in.

My father is dead. It’s huge. Momentous. It doesn’t seem real. I know it must be, because I’ve got his blood-spattered watch, but I never saw his body. Maybe he saved me from that when he headbutted me in the face? It’s hardly surprising that the last time he ever touched me was with anger and violence. It had been that way my whole life.

I don’t know if I should be experiencing sorrow, anger, joy, or relief. The scary thing is I feel nothing. I’m like a fucking block of ice inside.

It’s why I’ve been standing under this hot water for so long; it’s the only thing that reassures me I’m actually here, alive, still on this Earth. I’ve got the thermostat turned up to scalding, and I still can’t get warm deep inside where it matters.

I bring Mackenzie to mind—I can always feel something for her—but instead there’s still that awful, black hole of nothingness.

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