Page 133 of Unholy Bonds

I wanted to peel my masks away for him, as well, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready for him to see me vulnerable, broken. This game was supposed to be fleeting. It was supposed to be fun.

This wasn’t so fun anymore.

“Why would you tell me that, Ryden? Are you a fucking fool?”

“Because I want you to see the real me.” His voice was earnest, begging me to understand.

How can I show him my real self?

He would know I was the one who killed his brother, and he’d despise me for it.

Even though Victor deserved to die, I knew Ryden would resent me for denying him the chance to save his brother. Even if Irene turned out to become a heartless killer, I’d still love her.

“I don’t want to see the real you.” Swiping the tears away, I glared at him. “You lied to me. You told me you’re not made for feelings.”

“I didn’t know it then, Red, but you’ve changed every fucking thing about me. I was half dead before you, buried with the monsters I killed, and then you came.”

“Fuck you, you asshole,” I shouted. Fuck.

I wanted the calm, collected Yara back. The one who wasn’t a screaming, cursing mess. It was all his fault.

“Yara… Please.”

I shook my head, punching him in his chest. He took it without a word.

“I can’t look at you right now.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know, Ryden. That’s the problem. I always know what I want.” I was always sure of everything. I never let the smaller details distract me.

He has become one of the biggest parts of your life.

It was the truth, but I didn’t want it to be.

I was running, but nothing was moving. I was running away from his life, praying he’d catch me, praying he’d let me go. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore.

You want him, Kat whispered. You want him and he wants you. Stop, Yara. You deserve this. You deserve him.

So why can’t I stop running?

“I need some space. I need to be alone.” The fucking tears wouldn’t stop. I hadn’t cried so hard in a while. I hadn’t felt such crippling, helpless feelings for a long time. Ryden made me weak. I wasn’t ready for any of this shit.

“I’ll leave you alone for a while.”

“Are you leaving?” I looked up at him, my voice breaking. I wanted to hold on, and never let go. But perhaps this would be easier.

“No. I’ll just wait outside.”

“It’s freezing,” I said with a sniffle, frowning at him. He exhaled so loud I could feel the pressure of his breath on my skin. He shrugged.

“I don’t mind. I’ll stay right there until you tell me to leave.”

He pulled the door open and closed it behind him, leaving me with my demons.

What the hell am I supposed to do now, Kat?

I called Irene. She didn’t pick up.

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