Page 129 of Unholy Bonds

Do you want that?

I had no idea. I wanted this to be purely physical, but was it? Something had already shifted.

“I don’t have to know, Ryden. It’s your secret to carry,” I whispered, walking toward the living room, and he followed me. He sat down, and I deliberately took the single couch.

Are you ready to hear this?

I don’t know, Kat.

“But I don’t want to keep secrets from you,” he said, his voice soft, his eyes softer. The look made my heart tremble with fear. No, I didn’t… I couldn’t want this. The lines I drew for us were always clear. I wanted him for one thing and one thing only. Needing any more than that would be a disaster. For the both of us. We were too messed up, too broken to ever find something good together. We couldn’t form something built atop dead bodies.

But you’re already good together.

No, that’s just an illusion. A fantasy. I wrote it to escape from the reality of my life.

Kat shook her head. It doesn’t have to be, Yara. The look in his eyes, it’s real.

I growled. It can’t be. It shouldn’t be.

“Don’t, Ryden. This… whatever this is between us, is beautiful in its way. Don’t mess it up with burdens I couldn’t carry for you. I’m not the right woman for you, and you’re not the right man for me.”

“Who’s the coward now, Red?” he said, his voice still tender. There wasn’t even a glimpse of anger in his eyes, and that made me fear him more than his anger would have.

“I’m not a coward. I’m just saying…”

“Don’t say anything. I want you to know a part of my life no one has ever known because… you’ve become important to me.”

“Don’t, Ryden. You told me you didn’t want to break my heart. I don’t want to break yours, either.”

“Fuck. You’re already breaking my heart,” he whispered, thumping a fist against his chest, a look of pain crossing his features. “Victor was my brother. My stepbrother.”

I sat straight on the couch, my spine stiffening, my heart beating to come out of my throat. This wasn’t a joke. I—how did I miss this?

“You… you asked for the exhumation.”

He nodded, rubbing his face.

I avoided meeting his gaze, fearing he’d find the secret I had kept from him and loathe me for it. I couldn’t bear the thought of his hatred. I wanted to go back to where we were just a minute ago. In that safe place, away from reality, shrouded by lies.

But the truth would always come out. Reality and life were vicious like that. Inhumane.

“I promised my stepdad as he bled to his death that I’d keep an eye on Victor.” Ryden’s fingers trembled, and his voice broke at the end. I saw it, the cracks in his soul. His eyes were dark with the pain I couldn’t take away from him.

He looked like a million broken stars. I so badly wanted to collect them one by one and put him back together. But I knew how hard it was to fix something so broken. Nothing would ever become perfectly whole once it was shattered.

“My stepfather was amazing. Kind, compassionate. Unlike my father.” His finger absently went to the scar on his lower lip. “He saved me. He saved me and my mother from the man who was the sperm donor.” I sat still, not knowing what to say, what to feel. I almost wanted to scream at him to stop or scream at him about how and why I killed Victor.

Victor was just like Phil, or even worse than Phil.

“My father didn’t cheat on my mother like yours did, but he didn’t have to do that to break her. He used his strength, his fists and legs.”

“Ryden.”

“Please, Yara, baby. I want to tell you everything.”

I sighed. “Go on. I’m here.”

He had always been there for me, and I’d hate myself if I wasn’t there the one time he asked me to.

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