Page 95 of Ten Hammers

I cannot put into words how much I don’t want to hurt this man. But Goldie was right. I can’t choose based on who loves me the most or who I think I should choose. I have to follow my blasted heart.

“Deez.” I squeeze his fingers in my hands. “I need you to understand why I didn’t say it back. It’s not because I don’t feel the same way.” I take a deep breath and summon all my bravery. “I am very much in love with you. But I’m very much in love with all of you.”

I say it in a rush so the first part doesn’t sink in before I can get the second part out. “I didn’t want to tell you that your feelings are whole-heartedly reciprocated because I didn’t want you to think that…well…”

“That it means you’re going to choose me,” he finishes for me, matter-of-fact. Whatever he’s feeling, he’s keeping it well-concealed. “I get it, Win. We should probably get back before—”

“I’m not done,” I tell him. “I am nowhere near ready to make a final choice yet. But Diesel,” I take another deep breath, hoping to inhale some courage with the fresh night air, “I do choose you to be the man I want to–well, to use your own words–spread these sweet cheeks and go where no man has gone before.” I touch my butt, in case he doesn’t remember. Bite my lip and add, in case I’m still not clear. “Um. Tonight. If you want.”

He stares at me for what feels like forever, and then he whispers, “Holy shit, please merciful Lord, don’t let me be hallucinating right now.”

I laugh. “I am not really up to date on how the whole prayer thing works but I’m not sure asking to be blessed with ass sex probably isn’t, you know, kosher. But you’re not hallucinating and Axel has lube.” And I say again, “If you want.”

“I want. Oh, I want. Christ on a cracker do I want to claim your gorgeous ass tonight, Winnie Wainwright.”

I laugh and Diesel laughs, too, grinning as giddily as me.

“So that’s a yes.”

“It’s a fuck-yes. Shall we go to the tent now?”

I want to do that so much my whole body quivers at the thought. But the memory of Cruz’s face as he watched his brothers go behind the tree with me has me thinking it’s only fair if I pull him over here, too.

“One more thing first… can you send Cruz over here?”

Diesel lopes off, and a minute later Cruz and I are alone behind the tree.

He smiles at me curiously as I put my hands on his shoulder and rise up on my toes to drop a kiss on his lips.

“To be honest,” I say, “I pulled them over here because I had confessions to make. Like, with Axel, I confessed that I secretly crave all three of you. With Diesel, I confessed that I’m hoping he’ll be the one to…”

I break off, blushing.

Cruz’s eyes twinkle as he says, “You’re hoping he’ll be the one to claim your sweet ass?”

As I nod, he scoops me up by my butt so that our mouths are in line, and pulls me against him in a kiss.

In only his boxers, I can feel he’s rock solid, and I push myself closer, kiss him deeper.

“So tell me, then. Where do you want my cock, darlin’?” he says against my lips.

“In my mouth Cruzie,” I whisper.

I look up at him, into fathomless blue eyes, and add, “Because, well, I suppose I have a secret confession for you after all.”

His brows rise. “Yeah?”

I nod and then tell him about the How I Lose My Virginity to Cruz Hammer fantasy that I’ve fantasized about for years. About his bungee cords tying my wrists up to the door frame and his hands on my hips as I bounce on his cock… “So you see, if you claim my mouth tonight, maybe another night we can…”

His mouth swallows up the last of my words as he kisses me again. And then, before I can say another word, he scoops me up and we are on our way across the campsite, and toward the entrance to the tent.

Diesel is pouring water over the campfire to put it out. Smoke is billowing around him as it sizzles, giving him the appearance of a mighty god.

Axel is nowhere to be found when I search the campsite, but the tent flaps, which were rolled and pinned up, have now been closed.

As Cruz brings me into the tent, I catch sight of Axel and my heart squeezes. He’s still fully dressed, but his shirt has been unbuttoned and the glow from the warm white fairy lights gives his chiseled chest a golden glow. He’s placing water bottles, towels, and a bottle of lube beside the bed.

He’s getting us ready for sex. The thought sends my lustful thoughts into a frenzy. I have to cross my legs when Cruz places me on the edge of the bed. I’ve never been so turned on in my life.

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