Page 84 of Ten Hammers

“What you mean is that she’s the kind of girl that people expect the Hammer brothers to have on their arm.”

“What I mean is that you need to stop hating on yourself. And also, I’m sorry, but no. You were not on a Hammer brother’s arm. You were pretty much in the prequel to Theo & Leo Have A Threesome. That’s what got tongues wagging. Now spill the tea, girl!”

I draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “We decided to try dating. All of us, like the whole Winnie’s Favorite Hammer idea. Obviously I date them all one-by-one. Or, I guess two-by-one, sometimes.”

“Ah, so you’re saying the picture actually was taken before the threesome?” she jokes.

“After,” I confess.

There’s a moment of silence just before it sounds like she’s inhaled an entire pizza and is choking on it.

I wait.

Finally, the hacking subsides and she sputters, “Are you serious? Am I talking to a non-virgin right now? If you had your first time with Theo and Leo, I am going to–”

Despite everything, I laugh. “My first time was with Gav.”

“Hell yeah it was! WINNIE OLIVIA WAINWRIGHT. Tell me everything.”

I tell her almost everything. There are some things I do need to keep to myself.

“So…” she says when I’m done. “Have you gotten any clarity?” There’s a reality television dating show buzzword for you. “Do you have any inkling at all about which one might be The One?”

I sigh. “I want them all, Golds. Even more than I did before they let me out of the friend zone.”

I told Diesel this wasn’t all about the sex for me, but maybe that’s what it has become.

“Ughh, Golds, I’m being such a freaking cockhopper. And why? I’m still no closer to choosing.”

She goes wild, insisting I’m living the dream, not being a cockhopper.

“Golds,” I interrupt. “Diesel just told me he’s in love with me.”

The sudden silence rings loudly through the phone line.

“Okay, you really should’ve told me to sit down before dropping a bomb like that!” she finally says. “Easy Deezy! Oh my God, Winnie, I am so happy for you!”

I’m silent, but she happily carries on

“This is so romantic! He never could settle down and then, boom, he discovers that it was because Miss Right, or rather, Miss Wainwright, was there in front of him all along. Swoooooooon!”

I chew my lip.

“Okay,” she says. “I know it’s been a minute but when I say Swoooooooooooon! you say Swoooooooooooon!”

It’s kind of a thing we do when talking about grand romantic gestures performed by book boyfriends on the page and Hollywood hunks on the screen.

“Why are you not swoooooooooooon!-ing with me? You’re in love with Diesel, Diesel’s in love with you. You should be sending me pictures of maid of honor dresses to approve by now.”

“It’s not that simple,” I tell her.

“Oh, yeah? To me, it sounds pretty damn easy peasy Deezy squeezy! It’s exactly what you’ve always wanted! Love! With a Hammer brother!”

I draw in a deep breath and it comes out as a laugh. A possibly slightly deranged laugh.

“Okay, so you’re doing the whole Winnie’s Favorite Hammer thing...”

She’s drifting into producer mode on me.

---