He wears a happy smile and a flirty wink. Tears threaten suddenly, but I swallow them back as I shake my head.
“Hey everyone,” I call from the edge of the porch, unable to make it all the way over to them lest their faces and muscles change my mind. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
In a flash, all eyes are on me. Nine pairs lit up, eager, happy, waiting…
Shit, I have to swallow the tears back again.
“I’ve got to go,” I choke out. “Back to my cottage. For a while. I need time to sort some things out in my head.”
I swallow harder than ever but my throat is too dry.
“Babe. What’s wrong?” Gunnar calls. He’s in the water next to Gav, but he’s making his way out, and that’s the last thing I want.
“Nothing, I’m fine. I’m just going to drive up for the day. I need time–”
I break off when the tears win and pause to discreetly wipe my face.
“You all know how impossible this trip down memory lane is for me. This upcoming renovation, and being at Gram’s, it’s going to be too emotionally difficult. I know it. So, I can’t add any more upheaval in my life. I need you. I need us. Our team. But I need us without any romantic drama.”
“You have our word, Pooh Bear,” Gav says, his expression soft and earnest. “We’re friends first and foremost, you know that.”
I shake my head. “Not friends first and foremost. Friends, period.”
“Absolutely,” Gunnar jumps in. “We support you, no matter what. But… you will come back, right?”
“I said for the day, and I meant it. Just a little time to get my head on straight is all I need.”
“But–” one of the triplets protests.
“See you tomorrow!” I cut him off, turning back to the house to grab my keys, even though walking away–no, running away–feels so wrong. A part of me wants to yell at myself for doing something so stupid… but my father did enough of that to last me a lifetime.
And because I know my thoughts and emotions are too far from steady around my boys to make rational decisions, no matter what Goldie thinks, I do the only thing I can and that’s jump in my car, drive far from Smithville, fast as I can, and don’t look back.
Chapter 12
Winnie
For my eighteenth birthday, the boys gave me a check. A check that made my eyes bulge out of my head. I immediately said, “No way,” put it back in the card they’d all signed, and thrust it back at Jack.
My mind is still boggled and my eyes well with tears when I think of the amount of money they’d saved up for me.
“I’m not a charity case.” I’d jutted my chin. “I’m not taking a dime from your parents.”
I’d been convinced that it was all from Anna. I have self-esteem issues now, but back then? The fact that these guys could do something so thoughtful with no strings attached, for me? It was too much for my brain to process.
“None of this is from Mom or Dad,” Jack said. “It’s all from us. It’s all for you. It’s a gift. It’s not charity.”
It didn’t make sense. They had always been a hard-working family, each brother taking on part-time jobs around their homework and various school activities. But they should be using that money towards their own futures, towards college.
“Why?” I think I said, I might have been too emotional to manage actual words, though.
“We’re going to use it to buy you your own place.”
Gavin had a lot less piercings then, but his lip ring always made me pay extra attention when he spoke. “It won’t be a palace, but we’ll fix it up however you want.”
Back then, like now, we were on the precipice of a new chapter of our lives, all or most of us going our separate ways.
Jack had already been living in California, majoring in Architectural Engineering at UCLA. Renovating the disaster of a house he bought dirt cheap at an auction in his freshman year became his focus outside of earning his degree.