Page 26 of Ten Hammers

Every single set of their gorgeous eyes are on me now.

Every single set of their gorgeous eyes are alarmed.

“Win…?” Cruz asks. “Are you… alright?”

Tears stream down my face. I’m laughing that hard. I can’t stop laughing.

“Okay. Okay,” I say, trying to calm myself down, but another giggle escapes. “Come on. It’s hilarious. I’m actually supposed to believe that if it wasn’t for this pact… You all would’ve wanted to go on national television and compete for my love?”

“It would’ve had to be unanimous, like 1 Girl, 10 Hammers was,” Axel says. “We would have all had to… be very, very open and honest with each other and agree that no matter what the outcome… there would be no hard feelings.” And the corner of his mouth tips up. “But hell yeah.”

My knees actually go weak.

“We’d all love to be your favorite Hammer,” Jack says, his gruff voice rougher than usual. He swallows, like he has a lump in his throat and I’m overwhelmed by his emotion.

My eyes swim with tears. “Is that true? You would all want to date me, if given the chance?”

“No,” Jack says and once again, I’m thrown for a loop. “We don’t all want to date you, Win. We all want to be your man.”

Max presses his lips together, silent, but every single one of the others responds, agreeing with Jack.

Yep, I’ve definitely died and gone to heaven.

“Would you have done the show?” asks Mason. Probably because he never wanted to quit with 1 Girl, 10 Hammers. He loved being on television. Relished the low-key fame, and the perks of being a semi-celebrity.

I shake my head. “No. For starters, what we all have is way too special. I would never want to exploit our friendships like that. But… also… I’d never be able to eliminate any of you. Are you kidding me? I don’t have a favorite Hammer. I never have. Never will.”

I stare at Max until he meets my gaze.

“I love you all. All of you. As individuals, of course, but also as a whole.” I speak my truth to them in a way I’d never ever dream of in a room filled with anyone else. They make me brave. “I’d never do anything to damage the relationship we have. Obviously, Max is very special to me. But you all are.”

“Let’s say it wasn’t going to be televised,” Jack says suddenly. “Winnie’s Favorite Hammer.”

And then he blows away the last of my mind when he adds. “Is it an experiment you’d be interested in participating in if we kept it private?”

Chapter 10

Winnie

Is it an experiment you’d be interested in…

Is it…?

My mind needs a moment to recover but my ladyparts urge me to scream hell yeah, I would! An opportunity to be pounded for real by all the Hammers?

Thankfully, my heart and gut both respond with a resounding and unanimous NO, and that’s what stops me from running to Jack, jumping into his arms, wrapping my entire body around him until the tune from a phone alarm goes off, and then Leo says, Time’s up, Jackie boy, it’s my turn…

Oh my God, I want it, all of it. All of them, but I can’t imagine the havoc that would wreak on our friendships. I mean, if this morning has taught me anything, it was that Max and I have been playing with fire and it burned us all.

Dearest Virginity, my old friend, I suppose I won’t be losing you anytime soon after all, I think.

What a colossal bummer to realize I’ll be living in Dildo City, Population 1 for the foreseeable future after getting so damn close.

I shake my head. “No,” I say, though I might’ve whimpered just a little when I said it.

“No,” I add, more forcefully. “Like Axel said, it’s a stupid idea. Each and every one of you knows that. I mean, the network wasn’t motivated to do Winnie’s Favorite Hammer,” I scoff at the ridiculous title, “just so America could root for me to find true love with one of you.”

My chest starts to tighten even though I’ve spent plenty of time thickening my skin against the judgments of people who don’t even know me.

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