Page 112 of Ten Hammers

“Winnie,” he says, groaning my name as he shudders into my body. “I love you. I do.”

The last words he whispers, but he might as well have shouted them for how my body reacts, tensing even as I’ve gone boneless. He gathers me close, kissing my shoulders, my neck.

“I really do love you,” he says again, his voice slowed down, lazy from his orgasm. “I want you to know it, Winnie. But I don’t want you to think it means I expect you’ll pick me. It’s just something you should know, that’s all. So no getting weird about it, okay? You’re also the absolute best sex I’ve ever had. Another truth you should know.”

I kiss him again. Again. Again. The more my lips touch his skin the more I crave him. I wrap my legs around him to keep him from sliding out of me, and we kiss until our hips begin to rock, and I can feel him growing hard all over again.

“Damn,” Mason swears, pulling out. “If we don’t stop soon, I’m going to bury myself in all this sweetness again, and I might not be able to stop.”

“Sounds fine by me,” I say with a laugh.

“But I already forgot that I planned everything out. You were supposed to be lighting up the recliner just as the sun was setting. There are epic sunsets here and we missed it.”

My heart is already full to bursting and then he goes and says that?

“We didn’t miss anything, Mason,” I say, grabbing his hand, pulling it to my heart. And I hope, even without me saying it, he knows how much I love him, too.

We dress and go back upstairs and I have to hold his hand. I don’t ever want to not touch Mason.

It hits me like a wrecking ball that I feel things I haven’t felt before. Maybe it was just the catharsis of smashing Gram and Dad’s things, combined with that mind-blowing sex, but… yeah. I’m undeniably experiencing a level of emotions, closeness, connection with Mason I haven’t felt with any of the others, not even in the tent with the triplets.

Holy shit. Does this mean Mason could be…

But a wave of sadness hits me when I think of Max. And Gavin. And Deezy. Jack.

I could feel good, in this moment, with choosing Mason… if I could just not think that choosing him means not choosing the others.

As much as I never want to let him go, when we get upstairs and I see a door with a bathroom sign above it, I say, “Let me pop into the ladies room before we go, okay?”

I pee and then as I’m washing my hands, I look at myself, really look at myself in the mirror. I don’t zone in on my flaws or pick them apart. I just look at the woman standing there. It’s probably the first time in my life I confront my reflection and think that I’m beautiful.

Happy tears fill my eyes.

My phone buzzes and I pull it out. Goldie’s calling. I would wait until we get home and call her back but I see that there are quite a few notifications from her.

“Hey, girl, hey,” I answer. I am giddy. “What’s up?”

“Oh, my god, I didn’t think I was ever going to get in touch with you. Where are you right now? Are you somewhere you can sit down?”

“Um… well, I’m in a public bathroom, and I don’t know if I really want to sit down on one of these toilets, though it is cleaner in here than your average public bathroom. Mason brought me to this place where you smash things. Golds, we had the best time and then we may or may not have just had life-altering sex on a pool table.”

She’s quiet.

I feel like maybe I should go sit down on one of the toilets.

“Golds?” I prompt.

“You’re out with Mason, right now? And you just fucked?”

“Uh… yes?”

She lets out a string of curses.

“Goldie, I think you need to tell me what’s wrong. Like, now.”

There’s a long stretch of silence and I know whatever she’s going to tell me is going to be bad.

“Goldie!” I cry.

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