Page 105 of Ten Hammers

Has he decided he doesn’t want me?

My hands are shaking embarrassingly hard, so I sit on them. “What’s wrong, Max?”

His frown deepens. “I should’ve told you this earlier—”

“Are you self-eliminating?” I jump in, as if trying to prepare my heart by getting the terrible truth over with.

He blinks at me. “What?”

My heart is showing no signs of being prepared. “Are you taking yourself out of the running to be my favorite Hammer?”

God, it sounds so silly saying it, and yet tears are springing into my eyes, because it matters to me. More than I ever imagined it would.

“No,” he says. “Of course not.” He smiles at me, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course not, Win.”

“Okay,” I say, trying to get my heart to stop freaking out. “Okay. Good. Then…” I’m more confused than ever. “Why am I going out with Mason tonight? It’s your turn and I haven’t gotten to spend any time with you since we started this whole thing. I really miss you, Big Max.”

He scratches the back of his neck, something he knows I love. “I miss you, too. More than you’ll ever know, Win.”

For a split-second, his voice snags, emotion creeping in.

He misses me. He really does. This has to be the reason he’s acting weird. Is he upset with me because I haven’t spent any more-than-friends time with him, just the two of us, since we started this whole thing?

“We’re still okay, right?” I ask him. Point blank, because I honestly can’t tell.

Dammit. Before we started this, I could always tell with Max. Always. But I have to admit that while I’ve been getting closer with all of the others, Max and I have backslid from our starting point as friends-with-benefits. A sad truth, but how could we not have? I’ve now had sex with almost all of his brothers.

But shouldn’t that make him more eager to have his chance with me? Doesn’t he want me?

Or did he only want my virginity?

I shake that stupid thought from my head, because it’s beyond ridiculous.

He holds out his hand and I intertwine my fingers with his. “Are you happy, Winnie? Truly happy?”

I nod emphatically.

And he smiles. “Then we’re okay.”

“But I want you to be happy too, Max. I want everyone to be happy. And I really, really want my date with you.”

“You’ll get it, Princess.” He takes a deep breath, lets it out. “I promise you nothing is wrong. Actually Mason asked me to switch. He wants to take you somewhere very specific and they’ve been booked solid. Except for tonight.”

I look at him, study every inch of his face. “You swear?”

“I solemnly swear.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Okay, good. Can we just sit here and hold hands for a bit?”

I’ve found I love holding hands almost as much as I love the naked stuff.

Almost.

He gives my hand a squeeze. “There’s nothing I would rather do.”

I squeeze back, and I’m smiling again. Feeling so much better, we sit there on the porch together, until Jack barks an order at him to come in. We are silent and still, with the exception of his thumb gently and lovingly running along the top of my hand.

Chapter 37

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