Page 30 of The Northern Lights in His Eyes

Chapter 13

WITH HIS Jeep loaded with supplies, William in the passenger seat, and Sasha on one side in back, Garvin drove carefully as darkness fell over the Parks Highway. They had just passed through Wasilla as it began to snow. “This is just what it did on the night I arrived.”

Garvin turned on the radio to get a report as he continued their trek north and west. “It isn’t supposed to be too bad. These are the flurries coming in before the main storm.” He hoped. There was a break in the programming as a voice confirmed that the storm wouldn’t hit until later and that it wasn’t expected to be nearly as intense as the others. That was good news. The wind hadn’t picked up yet, so he had decent visibility.

“When we get back, I need to book my return flight. Will you be able to give me a ride to the airport?” The rental company had picked his car up, and William hadn’t requested a replacement.

“Of course. Just let me know when so I can make sure I don’t need to teach at that time.”

“Most leave at night, so you can teach and then take me in. It isn’t necessary for you to wait around or anything.” He turned in the seat. “I meant what I said. I will be back. I promise.”

“You don’t need to put yourself out on my account,” Garvin grumbled. He might as well get used to being alone again. He had spent the past two years alone up here, and he would do it again.

William snorted. “You don’t need to be a jerk. This isn’t some made-for-TV movie where one person says they have to go and the other makes like it’s no big deal… for some stupid reason.”

Garvin didn’t look away from the road ahead. “What do you want me to say?” He needed to keep himself under control and his emotions in check.

“I don’t know. What you really feel instead of some stupid front to keep from feeling bad? Maybe be honest and say what’s really on your mind.”

“Fine,” Garvin snapped and wished he hadn’t. “I wish you weren’t going. Okay? Not that it changes anything, but I wish you could stay.” There, he’d actually said it.

“I wish I could stay too. I like it here with you and Sasha, and as shocking as it is to me, I like going out in the freezing cold on the snowmobile with you. I like being here, and I like your friends. They’re a great bunch. You have a good life here, and I’d like to have something like that in my life. But I have to go back and make a living. What I can do isn’t available here, and I have to go where the work is. You know that.”

Garvin knew William was right, and that was part of what hurt so bad. “But it doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I don’t suppose it does, but it’s not like I’m going to come all the way to Alaska to try to get you to notice me and then when you do, disappear forever.” William looked at him like Garvin was crazy. “We’ll just have to figure things out. Have you ever thought about coming to LA during the winter? It would be warmer, and I have a place there. You could bring Sasha and stay with me.”

Garvin’s stomach clenched immediately. “I don’t think I can do that. LA isn’t somewhere I can ever live again. There are too many memories there. I left to try to get away from them, to build a new life, and I did.” Just the thought of going back had him gripping the wheel tighter. He breathed deeply, trying to stave off an anxiety attack. He hadn’t had one in a long time.

“Hey, it was only a suggestion.” William gently patted Garvin’s knee. “Just relax. If I had known how it would make you feel, I never would have brought it up. I like it here in Alaska, and even in the small cabin, you and I get along well. So don’t worry about it.”

Garvin nodded, but he didn’t know how things could work out. He loved his home, and this place was that now. It wasn’t like he was holding on to John as much anymore. He was ready to move on, but doing it in LA would be impossible. Besides, he wasn’t the same person he’d been back then. Garvin loved the open, wild spaces of Alaska. He could drive back roads and not see another person all day… and yet on that same road, he could see moose, caribou, and bear, and pass beaver lodges and osprey nests. “I can’t help it sometimes.”

“Hey. You know I have to go back and that I’m going to be busy. But things will work out.” William sounded so sure of himself.

“I don’t see how. What are you going to do? Fly back and forth on a regular basis?” He really didn’t see how this could work, but he was willing to give William the benefit of the doubt. He had to, because otherwise he would be alone again. And that really sucked.

“I don’t know, but I have to try. That is, unless you don’t want me to.” The soft hurt in William’s voice was almost too much.

“Of course I do.” Garvin made the turn and slowed as the lights of the library and community center came into view. He turned and made his way slowly down the road around the lake. He pulled into his drive and parked under the carport just as the wind picked up. They unloaded the Jeep, not saying anything more, and Garvin wondered if his own practical nature had only added more tension and anxiety. That hadn’t been his intention, but William was quiet.

Inside, after they got out of their gear, Garvin built up the fire while William spent time on his phone. He spoke quietly with Arnie. Garvin put away the things he’d gotten on their trip and then began making a simple dinner. They hadn’t spoken in over an hour, and Garvin didn’t know what to do to fix it.

He and William had spent quiet hours together in the same room and everything was fine. They were happy and comfortable with each other. But this was different. The silence hung heavily in the air, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. What he’d said was the truth—well, at least what he thought of as the truth. Garvin wasn’t very good at trusting that things would work out. In a bright blue sky, he was the guy who picked out the single cloud on the horizon that might carry a tinge of darkness.

“Garvin,” William said, and Garvin set down the knife and went over to where William sat rigidly on one side of the sofa with Sasha pressed right up against him, like he was afraid William was going to leave at any minute. Maybe that was what Garvin was worried about as well. “There are flights back every day at ten at night with seats available.” He seemed so tentative, and Garvin hated that. William was not that kind of guy. He had his quirks, but he was the kind of person who jumped on the back of a snowmobile to rescue people rather than sitting on the damned sofa, looking like he wanted the cushions to swallow him.

“When do you have to be back?” Garvin asked.

“My meeting is a week from Thursday.”

“Then go back on Tuesday to give yourself a day in case the weather is bad. That will give you a day of grace so you don’t miss it.”

William lifted his gaze. Those huge eyes that Garvin had seen in commercials—eyes that could sell damned near anything on the runway—sent his heart racing. “Is that what you really want?”

Garvin took William’s phone. “Arnie, this is his friend, Garvin. William is having a good time here. He’s helped save three people’s lives, and he’s brought life and light back to mine. So get him on the flight that will allow him to make his meeting but will give him the most time here with me. Okay?”

A throat cleared on the other side of the line. “This is Sarah, Arnie’s assistant.” She chuckled. “And I’ll be sure to do that. I’ll text William the details, and now, could you put him back on?”

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