Page 15 of The Northern Lights in His Eyes

“Smart dog,” William said, and Garvin nodded without looking away. William licked his full lips but didn’t move any nearer. Garvin found himself drawn closer, his entire body pulled to William by some invisible force that he couldn’t control. “What do you want?” William whispered.

Garvin’s mouth went dry, because he wanted William—badly. But he wasn’t sure this was a good idea. They were friends, they had a history…. The one thing he did know was what he wanted. On a pure, basic level, under all this doubt and worry, he knew it was William that he needed, and as soon as he acknowledged that, William was right there. Garvin tilted his head, William stayed still… and finally Garvin crossed the last few inches between them.

Long before he had actually gotten the chance, he had imagined what kissing William would be like, but it was nothing compared to the reality. Garvin was transported. William’s lips were firm yet soft, and he tasted and smelled clean, like the outdoors. William slipped his fingers through Garvin’s hair, deepening the kiss. He pressed Garvin back against the cushions, settling his weight on Garvin, and Garvin wrapped William in his arms and held him tightly as his head grew light.

“Damn,” Garvin whispered when William pulled back slightly. “What the…?” He hadn’t expected something that intense, and yet he could barely see straight… in the very best way possible. He hadn’t experienced anything like that since he lost John, and it took him by surprise. He had never thought he would feel that again, and now that he had, he would have expected it to remind him of John, but it didn’t. This was all William.

“It’s really good that I can reduce you to incoherence. That’s definitely a good thing.” William kissed him again and then slowly sat back up. He helped Garvin upright once more and took his hand. He expected William to press on to something more, and part of him was disappointed that it didn’t happen. Yet it was really nice that William seemed to want to take things slowly.

“What do you have as far as movies and stuff?” William asked.

Garvin opened the cabinet under the small television and let William choose something to watch. Then they settled in front of an action flick where Bruce Willis and his team set out to save the world. Not that Garvin paid that much attention. Sasha climbed onto the sofa again, settling on the other side of him, and Garvin leaned back against the cushions, closed his eyes, and let himself be truly happy for the first time in years.

Chapter 8

GARVIN HAD kissed him. It was a small step, and yet a big one, and from the way Garvin’s eyes goggled, it seemed it had had as much of an effect on him as it had on William. And the interesting thing was that it had taken a lot less time than William had thought it would. Garvin was a thinker, and he mulled shit over in his head for a long time. But this was different, almost impulsive. Regardless, William was grateful for it, but he didn’t want to push. Right now, Garvin was dozing, and after the morning and afternoon they’d had, it was no wonder.

He watched the movie and gazed at Garvin, with Sasha watching them. “Do you need to go out?” William asked, and Sasha perked up. William carefully got up, paused the movie, and let Sasha outside. It was a little after five-thirty and already pitch-dark. Sasha hurried out and came right back. William closed the door, added more wood to the fire, and settled on the sofa once again without waking Garvin.

Sometimes William wondered about his life and the choices he made… or didn’t. It seemed that so many of the choices in his life had been made for him. Either that, or they hadn’t been made at all. So much had fallen into his lap because of how he looked, because of how he walked… sometimes because he was in the right place. Things just happened. But this, with Garvin, wasn’t like that. He needed to work for it, and he knew it was what he wanted. As the movie played, William sat watching Garvin and the way his hand lightly stroked his dog, even though he was asleep.

They had done well today, helping to save lives, but the best thing to happen was Garvin. He reached out, shifting on the cushions, and William took his hand, lightly caressing his rough fingers. Immediately Garvin settled back down and grew quiet, a soft smile on his lips.

Damn it all. William had tried to keep his feelings for his friend in check for years. First he had a husband, and then after John passed, he kept his distance. After that, Garvin had been so deep in his grief that he never came out. Maybe William was stupid to wait so long, but the heart wants what it wants. Now things seemed so close, and maybe he could have what he wanted.

Except Garvin was here in the wilds of Alaska, and William’s life and work were in LA. Coming up here to find Garvin had been wildly impulsive and the best decision he’d made. But what about when his visit came to an end? Not that they had made promises to each other or even said anything that could lead William to believe that Garvin felt the same way, but there it was. William was falling right into his usual habit. He had completely fallen for someone he wanted but probably couldn’t have, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Garvin started awake, looking around and then settling once more.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just weird dreams.” He sighed and lay back again. “I was at the avalanche site, but things were so different.”

“It was only a dream.” William squeezed his hand.

“But it wasn’t. I think it was my mind putting pieces together.” He sat up. “On the next nice day, I want to go back out there. I want to return to where those people were found. There were things out there that weren’t right. I can see if Enrique will go with me.”

“I’ll go, only this time I want to drive.”

Garvin chuckled. “Maybe I can see if we can borrow an extra machine so you can have your own.”

William shook his head, leaning closer. “No. See, I want you to ride behind me, your arms around my waist, your body pressed to mine. I want you to know what that feels like… for hours… and not be able to do anything about it.” He winked, and Garvin groaned.

“I think I felt just how much you enjoyed that.”

William cleared his throat. “Maybe, but mostly I was hanging on, afraid I was going to go flying when you went over some of those bumps.” He hit Garvin with a glare. “Anyway, I’d be curious about what you might have found.”

Garvin leaned forward excitedly. “That’s just it. I’m not sure, but I think there were things there that shouldn’t have been. But I was so focused on the task at hand that I’m not really sure what my mind picked up. While I slept, my mind showed me stuff that kind of makes sense… maybe.”

“Then we’ll go as soon as the weather allows for it.” And just like that, he was volunteering to go out into the cold once more. He could hardly believe it. William had never liked the cold. He was a warm-weather person, but he was discovering he’d go just about anywhere with Garvin. “We should make something to eat. Enrique’s late lunch was good, but I’m still hungry.”

Garvin got up. “Me too. I have some things that I can heat up quick. Nothing fancy.” He opened the refrigerator, and Sasha went over, probably to see what was in store for him. “I have some soup, but we had that earlier. There isn’t a lot of variety sometimes.” He pulled out sandwich fixings and set them on the counter. “In winter we tend to take what we can get.”

“It’s okay,” William said as he joined him at the small counter. He made up a sandwich, but instead of beer, Garvin brought out bottles of juice and water.

“We need fluids, and beer isn’t going to help us.” They each drank some juice and then settled for water while they ate their sandwiches. William didn’t feel the need to fill the silence with sound, and Garvin didn’t seem to either. It was companionable and pleasant… until William’s phone rang.

He picked it up, yawning. “Hey, Arnie.” His booking agent. “What’s up?”

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