Page 32 of The Northern Lights in His Eyes

“Really?” He could feel his temper rising.

“John loved you more than anything, and neither of you had any idea that he was going to get sick. The two of you should have had a long life together. It’s what you deserved—what all of us deserve and should have. But you didn’t.” William leaned closer. “So build a bridge, get over it, and go on with your life. You’ll always love John, but you can’t stop living or let your past dictate the kind of future you’re going to have. Learn from the shit you did wrong and don’t make the same mistake again. It’s just that simple.”

Garvin was taken aback, and he didn’t know what to do with that advice. “Build a bridge? Never heard that one before.” He chuckled and went back to making dinner. William was probably right—Garvin did need to figure out how to let go of the last pieces of his past. And he needed to do that if he could hope to have any sort of future.

Chapter 14

WILLIAM HOPED he hadn’t gone too far, but Garvin kept holding on to his past like it was a damned lifeline. He was even trying to milk his mistakes as some sort of excuse for not moving on. Their friends in LA had treated Garvin with kid gloves for years. Maybe that was the problem.

“Dinner will be ready in a few minutes,” Garvin said, and William turned away from the counter and returned to where Sasha stood on the sofa, looking over the back like he was ready to spring into action if things felt wrong. William stroked his head and sat down, putting his feet up. There was little he could do if Garvin wasn’t willing to meet him at least part of the way. Maybe it was simply too much to expect. If Garvin was determined to wallow in his past, there was nothing William could do about it. Or maybe he was just too stubborn to make any sort of compromise. It wasn’t like William was asking him to leave Willow and move back to LA, but a visit during the times when William was shooting and couldn’t get up here didn’t seem unreasonable.

He shrugged. Maybe William was just too stubborn himself and couldn’t see that Garvin wasn’t that interested. If you loved someone, you wanted to help make them happy. And William did want Garvin to be happy. So maybe he just needed to accept that they had the time they had and let that be the end of it. Any relationship had to be what both people wanted, and if Garvin thought he was only going to be happy here, then who was William to tell him any different?

“I’m almost finished with the frittatas,” Garvin said. William joined him, getting out the plates and things for dinner. There was no use fighting. He was only here for a week and a half. Then he had to leave, and from there, things would either find a way to work or they wouldn’t. William was serious about coming back, but he didn’t think they had a chance if Garvin wasn’t willing to make an effort. However, Garvin had surprised him before.

“I’ll get some drinks.” He poured Garvin some coffee and got water for himself. By the time William was done, Garvin had plates on the small table, and they sat down.

“What sort of things would you like to do before you leave? Once this snow is over, the weather is showing a period of quiet for a while, and it’s supposed to warm up a little. By Wednesday, it’s going to be near freezing. If you like, we could go out on the snowmobile. Or I could see if I can borrow one from Enrique and I could show you how to drive it so we could both have one. There are some great places to ride just to the north. We wouldn’t need to go as far as the pass to have some fun. And next weekend is the winter carnival. It’s held out on the lake and should be a lot of fun.”

“On the lake?” William asked.

“Yes. The lake is relatively shallow, so it freezes deep and fast. The ice is probably four to six feet thick right now.”

“That’s pretty cool. Do you need to do something for it?”

Garvin nodded. “I’m supposed to help with the kids’ games and things like that. We set up the community center as an artists’ market and craft show. Clair—she lives in the house three to the west—organizes that each year. The library community room will be used for refreshments, and Enrique always sells food. There will also be native crafts and artists who sell their wares. We have races on the lake of all sorts, even outhouses.”

“I take it the carnival is a big deal.”

“It is for everyone around here. Most visitors come in the summer, but this is our one big winter draw, and we try to make the very most of it. I can’t wait to show it all to you.”

“It sounds like fun.” William smiled, and Garvin seemed excited. The tension between them seemed to have slipped away, and William was glad for that. He knew the issue hadn’t gone away, but he wasn’t going to let it taint the rest of the time he had. “So tell me more about how they race outhouses.”

Garvin’s explanation of outhouses on skis being pushed by teams with an occupant inside, doors flapping open and swinging closed, had William nearly in stitches and Garvin grinning. Damn, that smile made his heart race.

THE FOLLOWING afternoon, Garvin drove them up to the trading post. Enrique joined them and gave William a lesson in driving the snowmobile. Enrique then took charge of Sasha and brought him inside.

Garvin took off with William behind him, being cautious with the speed until William got the hang of the equipment. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” Garvin called back and zipped forward. William followed, glad his goggles were tinted, with the way the sun glistened and sparkled off the undisturbed snowfield. Trees dotted the landscape but then disappeared as they passed the tree line and went up into a pass that seemed completely undisturbed by man. Garvin pulled to a stop at the bottom. William brought himself to a stop right next to him.

“I love it here. This is one of those places that you can only get to by snowmobile in the winter or four-wheeler in the summer. There are no roads.”

William slowly turned to take it all in. At the tops of the peaks, the wind blew up clouds of snow that glittered against the blue sky.

“Days like this are rare this time of year.”

“What is this place?” It looked like nature’s cathedral, with the peaks and the way they sloped down.

“It’s one of the many valleys out here. There’s a small creek in the center of it, which is why we didn’t go all the way to the bottom. It shouldn’t be active until the spring runoff, but you never know, and I didn’t want to take any chances.” Garvin’s gaze met William’s. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

William swallowed, and then Garvin leaned closer. William did the same, and Garvin kissed him, his lips warm and lush, a complete contrast to the cold air around them. Instantly, heat raced through William, and any chill that might have gotten through his gear vanished. When Garvin pulled back, William was tempted to press for more, but he restrained himself, even as he blinked at the fading intensity of the kiss.

He wished he had words to express how he felt at this moment, with the cold, the heat from Garvin, and their surroundings. William was tempted to challenge Garvin to a race back to the cabin so they could tumble into bed. Instead, Garvin took his hand and held it, and they sat together for a few minutes.

“We should move now,” Garvin said. “There’s only a few hours of light.” William nodded, but Garvin kissed him once more. “Last summer, I packed a tent and came up here thinking I would spend the night.”

“Did you?”

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