Page 24 of The Northern Lights in His Eyes

William grinned. “Sounds like fun. Though I swear my artistic development stopped at finger painting.” He was good at expressing himself in other ways.

“Great. I’ll see you then.” Devon turned back toward the door. “I’m heading on up the road to check on Jackson and Grace. We haven’t seen them for a while, and Enrique asked me to stop in to make sure they don’t need anything.” He waved and left, letting Sasha outside with him.

“It sounds like Willow, Alaska, is turning into a real center of culture,” William teased.

Garvin wandered to the window that looked out on the frozen lake. The first stars were already making their appearance. “We need things to break up the long nights. Usually I spend a lot of time alone in the winter.” He spoke quietly, maybe pensively. It was hard for William to figure out what he was feeling at that moment, and it set William on edge because he wasn’t sure what surprise Garvin had in store for him.

“I suppose. I’m sorry if I crashed your solitude party.”

Garvin didn’t turn around. “You didn’t. Well, actually you did, but I’m glad. It’s been nice having you here for a visit.” William got it now. Garvin thought of this as a visit, something that would start and end while William was here.

“I’m glad.” What the hell else was he supposed to say? “I have to go back, but not for a few weeks. At least that’s what I told my agent.”

Garvin nodded, continuing to look outside. “That’s great.” At least Garvin didn’t sound sarcastic, but trying to figure out what he was thinking could be a challenge. Garvin always seemed to keep himself locked away, especially after John’s death. William had thought after the past few days, when things had progressed between them, maybe something in Garvin had changed. He had hoped that he had decided to move on, and that maybe he would want to move on with him. But maybe all that was wishful thinking on William’s part and this was only an interlude until William went back to LA.

He sat on the sofa and turned on the television. There was very little on this far from the beaten path, so he found a DVD and put it in the player just for something to watch. He chose Knockout because it had action and Logan Steele was hot, but he kept the volume low. He heard scratching at the door and hurried over. He opened the door as Sasha shook the snow out of his fur and then trotted inside.

“Did you have a good time?” Garvin had explained that Sasha wouldn’t go far. He went to his water dish and lapped it dry before checking his empty food bowl. William gave him a handful of food and more water before settling in front of the television once again. Sasha joined him, while Garvin continued staring out the window.

William left Garvin alone with his thoughts. He knew Garvin well enough to understand that there were times when he needed to think. Still, he got glasses of water and silently offered one to Garvin.

“I’m sorry,” Garvin said softly, his voice sounding like he was a million miles away.

“What for?” William asked, pausing the movie.

Garvin shrugged, and William sat still, petting Sasha gently. Now that he knew the dog wasn’t going to eat him, the two of them had become friends. He was still leery of dogs in general, but Sasha was a good dog, and it helped him get over his skittishness.

Eventually Garvin turned away from the window, and William went back to watching the movie. He hoped Garvin would join him, but he went into the kitchen and silently began making dinner. William wondered if he could help, but Garvin had this big “I need to be alone” vibe, so William stayed where he was, watching Garvin between movie scenes, wondering what was going on.

Chapter 11

GARVIN TRIED not to think too much about his growing feelings for William. There was no need to get too carried away. William was only staying for a few weeks, and it didn’t matter how Garvin felt or how much his heart seemed to be invested. He needed to keep some sort of distance or he was going to fall to pieces once William returned to LA and his regular life, leaving Garvin alone once more.

He had been fine for the past two years living out in the bush. There were people around, but Garvin had been able to choose how he interacted with them, and when he felt like being hermity, he simply stayed in his cabin or worked on the property getting ready for winter. There was never a shortage of chores to do, so that kept him busy, as did his teaching. But with William here, things had changed. He found he liked having someone around, and he felt more social and wanted to get out and do things with others. But pretty soon he was going to be alone again. No matter how he felt about William or what he wanted, soon enough William would leave, and there was nothing he could do about it.

It had taken some time after John’s death for him to learn that the world didn’t give a crap about what he wanted. John had been taken from him, and there was nothing he could have done to change it. Garvin’s world as he knew it had changed completely, and yet everything else went on. It was shitty, but the way of things. Just like William was going to leave because he had to return to his work and his life, and there wasn’t shit that Garvin could do to change that. It seemed the best course of action was to simply pull away and keep some distance.

“You’re thinking way too much,” William said as he came into the kitchen. He filled his glass, drank more water, and then filled it again. William set the glass on the counter before slipping his arms around Garvin’s waist. He didn’t say anything more, and Garvin tensed at first, but William was warm, and no matter what he’d told himself, Garvin relaxed into the touch. Part of him rebuked himself for it, while the bigger piece figured he was being stupid and told him to enjoy what he had while William was here. He put down the knife he’d been using to cut potatoes and leaned back. “I could smell the smoke and hoped you weren’t short-circuiting something.”

“Very funny,” Garvin said, grateful that William didn’t press him. Sometimes he simply needed to be alone with his mind as he worked things out. “I have a few steaks that I thought we’d have, and I’m going to make mashed potatoes. An old-fashioned meat-and-potatoes dinner.”

William squeezed him a little closer. “I haven’t had one of those in a long time. You know me, I have to eat very carefully in order to stay working, but up here I can eat just about anything and still keep the weight off.” He nipped at Garvin’s ear. “My mom used to cook this way for us when we were kids.”

“Mine too. The only thing was that my mother used the instant kind, and I hated those. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I had real ones, and then there was no going back.” He continued cutting the potatoes into pieces and adding them to the pot on the stove. “I have some veggies in the freezer. It’s the best we can do out here.”

William chuckled. “I noticed that there wasn’t any lettuce or anything fresh on the menu at the trading post either.”

“Well, yeah. If you go to Anchorage, you can get shipped-in veggies and fruit. But a tomato will cost you three bucks and a head of lettuce at least two. Everything fresh is shipped in, and by the time we get it up here, there isn’t much left of it. I have a couple freezers in the pantry that I use to put things up from the garden. I also have lockers outside that I can store things in. But mostly it’s canned and preserved everything this time of year.” He opened the freezer and clunked a huge bag of mixed vegetables onto the counter. Then he took out what he wanted for the two of them and put the rest back.

“Costco?” William asked.

“Is there anything else? Whenever Enrique heads to Costco, he usually takes orders for the rest of us, especially this time of year.” He finished getting everything ready and got the potatoes on the stove. Then he pulled the steaks out of the refrigerator to season. He was going to need to use the broiler in the oven because there was no other option, as cold as it was outside.

William went around and sat at one of the stools. “I don’t cook much back home.”

“Then how do you eat the way you need to?” Garvin asked. “I know you were never much of a cook, and I wasn’t either. John did a lot of that sort of thing. He loved it. But out here, I’ve had to learn.”

“I remember that. Usually back home I have someone come in every few weeks to cook for me, and I order salads and things to have delivered. I’m often so busy that there isn’t time to do much more than heat something up.”

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