Page 76 of Savage Lover

I’m mad because she never came back. I have to hear about her from shitheads like Levi. I have to know she’s still here in Chicago. I have to wonder if she’s okay. And I have to wonder why she doesn’t ever call me anymore. Is she ashamed? Is it painful for her? Or does she just not care?

Levi is still smiling at me in that cruel way.

Why do men enjoy hurting women? Why does he feel good making me feel low?

“I have your money,” I say, handing him the wad of bills Schultz gave me.

“Good,” Levi says, passing it over to Sione. “I’m glad to see we’re not going to have a problem.”

Not right this second, anyway.

“You have any Ex left?” Levi asks.

“A little.”

“Let me see it.”

I take the baggy out of my pocket—the one Schultz told me to keep in case I needed it. There are about twelve pills inside.

“Good.” Levi nods again. “Take it.”

I stare at him.

“Take it where?” I say stupidly.

Levi sits up a little straighter, the smile falling off his face. His eyes are boring into mine. His pupils are tiny dark pinpricks in the expanse of his pale blue irises.

“Take one. Right now,” he says.

I try to swallow, my mouth dry.

“Why?” I say.

“Because I don’t fucking trust you.”

My heart is beating fast, but my breathing is slow. I’ve never taken a single drug in my life besides a few puffs of weed. Mostly because I was trying to be responsible. But also because this stuff really freaks me out. I don’t like not being in control of myself. Not to mention, I have no idea where Levi gets it. There could be rat poison in here, for all I know.

“I’m not into Molly,” I say weakly.

“I don’t give a FUCK what you like,” Levi hisses. “Take one right now, or you’ll fucking regret it.”

I cast a swift glance around at the group. Nobody’s looking at me. Nobody’s coming to my rescue. Patricia is in conversation with Ali. Beatrice is dancing with the other girls. The only person paying any attention to me at all is Sione, who stands a few feet away, silently keeping watch in case Levi needs him. He’s not going to be any help to me—he’d probably shove this whole baggy down my throat, if Levi gave the order.

“Okay . . .” I say hesitantly.

I take out one yellow pill. It’s hard and chalky, like an aspirin.

I put it on my tongue, washing it down with the dregs of my Heineken.

“Open your mouth,” Levi whispers.

I open my mouth and stick out my tongue, showing that I swallowed it.

Levi laughs, breaking the tension.

“Alright,” he says. “Go have some fun.”

I try to laugh, too, but I can’t even smile properly. I get up from the blanket, stumbling away from him.

---