Page 9 of The Midnight Confessions: Part Four

“If you are awake, Cassie, I’ll be up for a little bit,” I tell her, trying again. She becomes unnaturally still, making me huff in frustration.

I wish she would talk to me. I want to know why she had a therapy appointment, how her day was. Fuck, I even want to know who she beat the hell out of when she went to the gym. My step-sister is under my skin, and I don’t want to dig her out.

Pulling off my clothes, I throw on a tank top and pants. It’s still a little cold, especially with the air conditioning kicking on sporadically. We both need the noise to be able to sleep.

Washing my face in the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I wonder why that Soren guy sounded so familiar. Trent gets along with most people, but something told me he was holding himself back from beating him up. I need to find a way to stay away from him, and tell Cassie about him too. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t at least warn her.

I can’t sleep yet, so I keep my lamp on and scroll through social media. Everyone is talking about the party at Alpha Sigma Pi house, and if Trent and I had ended on better terms tonight, so would I.

Sure, he kissed the hell out of me, but I could see the hint of judgment and hurt in his eyes. I was a raging bitch in high school, I was hurt by my parents’ choices to move to New York, so I took it out on Cassie.

I wish I was a better person. So many of my step-sister’s hang ups are because of my body shaming, and the role I took in bullying her. Blinking away the memories of the stupid dance, the way we teased and taunted her, and everything that led up to Cassie attempting suicide that night, I put my phone away.

Unfortunately, it’s really hard for me to go to sleep, and I toss and turn for hours. It’s only the even sounds of Cassie sleeping that finally lull me into a dreamless state.

Groaning, I sit up when my alarm goes off.

“You okay there, sis?” Cassie asks with a smirk as she grabs her backpack.

“Yeah, I just slept like shit,” I yawn. “I was hoping I’d catch you before you went to bed, but you were out.”

A guilt-filled look passes over her face before she hides it with a shrug. Cassie has to realize that she’s an awful actress. It’s either that, or I’ve gotten to know her well enough to know the difference. We’ve come a long way from the day I found her in my dorm room as my new roommate, but we’re still a long way from where I want to be.

“Yesterday was weird,” Cassie sighs. “There are days that I think the campus police are a joke. I was coming back into the gym from having a quick check in with my therapist, and I caught a guy assaulting a girl. I screamed, and the guy left, but the police did nothing. I don’t feel safe here.”

“Please don’t go to the gym alone anymore,” I blurt, standing up. Cassie’s eyes trail over my pajamas, her lips twitching. Glancing down, I realize there’s the words Eat Me across the top. Flushing, I bite my lip in embarrassment.

I wasn’t really paying attention last night to what I pulled out.

“That’s cute,” she grins. “I think you’re right. I’m going to try to only go to the gym during the day. It was really creepy, and at least a third of the lights were turned off. I don’t want to get into a bad situation because someone doesn’t understand the word ‘no’.”

The unspoken words “like last time” live awkwardly between us, and I want to say something, but can’t.

“Why did you have a bad day?” I ask instead. I really want to know.

“Someone walked over my grave,” Cassie shrugs, making me shiver. I know the phrase, but it’s always creeped me out. “Before I go, how was your date with Trent? Anyone get lucky?”

Unexpectedly, I blink back tears. I feel really shitty about last night. I know Trent said it’s in the past, but how do you continue to date a monster?

“Woah, ba—Lyra, what happened?” Cassie asks, alarmed. The fact that she almost called me baby makes me cry harder.

“It’s dumb,” I mumble as she drops her bag to the ground. “You’re going to be late. I’m just sensitive because I slept like shit last night.”

“I’m going to find Trent and beat the shit out of him and his perfect dick if you don’t tell me right now,” Cassie growls.

Brushing a tear from my cheek, I shrug helplessly. “I shouldn’t have told him, but we agreed not to keep secrets from each other. So I told him about how I treated you in high school, and that I’m basically a monster…” I hiccup as I sob, covering my mouth with my hand. “God, this is embarrassing, I’ll really be fine,” I mumble, turning away.

Grabbing my wrist, she wraps her arm around my waist until we’re practically nose to nose.

“You didn’t have to tell him,” she murmurs, carefully reaching up to brush away my tears. “Just because you did something terrible, doesn’t make you a bad person. Lyra, what did Trent say?”

“He was wonderful, as always, but there was this look in his eyes afterward. I don’t know if we’re going to work out. You keep saying that you shouldn’t be with anyone, but maybe I don’t deserve it. Cassie, you’re right not to want to be with me, but Trent is so sweet…”

“Wait a fucking minute,” she growls, her hand digging into my hair to pull my lips to hers.

Whimpering because I miss her so damn much, I let her. I’m sure Cassie can taste my tears, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. Her lips are soft, firm, and incredible. Giving an embarrassing sigh as we part, I decide to come clean.

“We miss you,” I confess, knowing I look like a hot mess. Not exactly what you want when you’re trying to convince someone to join you and your boyfriend in your relationship, but whatever. “Trent and I agree that it’s great hanging out, but we want you too.”

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