Page 66 of Antidote

I kiss his neck softly and inhale his vanilla cupcake scent. “I can’t, baby. I have to go to practice. If I’m late, I’m fucked.”

“Nooooo.”

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” I smile, and he turns around and kisses me softly. “Just two hours.”

“Two hours too long,” he grumbles, and I roll my eyes even though I love that he’s clingy right now. It reminds me of our nights together, and now that we’re a couple—officially—we can have so many more. Without limitations. Without being afraid of getting caught.

“Love you.” I kiss his cheek, and I feel him smile under my lips. “Be right back, pretty boy.”

“I love you!” he yells after me as I exit his room.

Ollie was right. For the longest time, it would’ve pained me to say that. I would’ve hated to admit it, but now I can logically think about where he was coming from. I really did have a hard time accepting myself and my sexuality, and I also didn’t hate him because of my mom. That much was clear when I couldn’t stay away from him.

I hated myself. I hated myself for not being able to save her. For not taking her place in that car. What I felt was guilt. It’s only logical that I’d have those feelings under the circumstances. Only now can I see it for what it is and move on from it. My mom wouldn’t have wanted me to live like this, drowning in the pain of her death. I have to learn to forgive myself and move on. However, even if it will always hurt, no matter what I do, I can’t keep blaming him. Not if I want this to work out between us. We were equally guilty, and I can’t change it now.

Never in a million years would I have imagined the conversation that transpired between Ollie and me last night. The fight, the heart-to-heart. I told him I loved him, and that’s been a long time coming. I’m in love with him, no matter what I’ve tried to tell myself.

I smile as I lace my skates in the locker room. The guys are all sitting around doing the same, and I take a deep breath as my hands begin to shake. Connor and I make eye contact, and I can feel the blood draining from my face. He furrows his brows as he watches me, and right before he can ask me what’s wrong, I blurt out?—

“I’m dating Ollie.” His eyebrows rise as I take another deep breath. “I’m demi.”

And it’s true, seeing as it has nothing to do with it being a guy or a girl. I’m not into anyone else. Just into Ollie. And while that used to piss me off, now it just makes sense. I’ve been obsessed with him for years. What the hell made me think I could just move on from him?

Connor grins and shakes his head. “Can’t say I didn’t see that one coming.” I scowl, and he continues, “Oh, come on, Hunter. You’re not that slick. You were so fucking jealous?—”

“I get it, I get it.” I roll my eyes. “You were right. You happy?”

He grins. “I’m happy for you.” He finishes lacing up his skates and straightens up on the bench. “So what now? You coming out?”

I nod.

“Hey everyone!” I yell, trying to get their attention, as Connor and I both stand side by side. The entire team turns to look at us, and I beam. “I have a boyfriend. Yeah, I like guys. Anyone have a problem with that?”

“Nah,” Connor says from my side, and I look at him with raised brows. “Nobody has a problem with it. Am I right?”

The guys are wide-eyed but shake their heads. No one is ready to fuck around with us. I should’ve known better. We’re a team, and I bet they wouldn’t dare come after me. Why did I always doubt myself? Why did I wait so damn long to do this for myself? Fuck, I’m such an idiot.

“It’s all good, man,” Grayson says. “We kinda figured it out after your fight with Dylan.”

“That obvious, huh?” I chuckle.

“Boyfriend?” Dylan coughs. “What the fuck, since when?”

“None of your business, Dylan.” I grin. “Jealous?”

“You’re gay, and you didn’t tell me?” Alex asks, his blue eyes narrowing, his blond eyebrows furrowing. We’re not even that close, so I’m not sure why he needs an explanation.

“I’m not gay.” I shrug, trying my best to appear nonchalant even though my heart is pounding. There’s a different word for this. “I’m demi.” I did it. I finally gave myself a label, and I didn’t die.

Dylan comes up to me, and my hands ball into fists. I prepare myself to punch him in the face since I just know he’s going to be a smartass. “It’s all good, man,” he says with a smirk. “For what it’s worth, I didn’t know he was yours. Sorry about that.”

I frown, unsure if he’s being genuine with his apology. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” He nods. “Plus, I kinda have the hots for James.”

“Murdock?” I sputter.

Dylan chuckles, and I grin because I did not see that one coming. “Murdock,” he affirms. “I’m gonna go after him.”

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