Page 24 of The Noble's Merman

Kent took the last sip of his third drink.

He couldn’t marry. He couldn’t. Kent would not give up what he had with Mo, when being with him had made him the happiest he’d ever been. He cared about Mo so strongly, and these heart-clenching emotions that fluttered in his chest were enough to prove it. Even if it was ‘wrong’, he adored the connection he’d formed with the merman—something so special, so unique, so intimate. If anything, he wanted to be even closer to Mo, if that could be possible. If only he could join me on land…

Perhaps that made Kent a sodomite. He thought it strange, since he had no issue being attracted to women previously. He courted Diana for two years before she left him, he bedded her—and he enjoyed it. He even thought he loved her. But perhaps there was more to himself than he thought before; perhaps it wasn’t so strange to be attracted to both women and men.

And then another thought—was sodomy even an issue in merfolk society? Did Mo feel the confidence to kiss Kent because he never would’ve even considered two males together to be morally wrong? He would have to ask that tomorrow, when they meet again.

I do wonder if there was something I missed in my books, if there is a way he can become human… No change happened to his body when we kissed, so that legend, like we’d expected, wasn’t true. If he can’t, then how could we…?

“Kent! Are you really just going to sit by yourself the entire time we’re here?”

It was Katherine, hovering over him and blocking his view from the rest of the soirée.

“Oh, Kathy, I apologize.” He squinted his eyes and shook his head, the gin pulsing in his skull. “I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

“Are you drunk enough to finally talk about it?”

“Drunk…” He sighed, and as he did, a chill ran down his spine. Yes, he did suppose he had quite a bit to drink already. Perhaps it would do him some good to talk. “Sure. Let’s move someplace else, however.”

Katherine quickly gave notice to Sir Randolf that they were to step away for a moment, and she led Kent to the back gardens outside. These hedges resembled the ones at their modest Stubbington estate, flowers trimmed neatly and only two fountains instead of a dozen. Small lanterns lit the cobbled stone paths in the darkness, and some people were already congregating out here, chatting amongst themselves in the warm night air. Kent motioned Katherine to stand over by the outside wall of the main building, hidden behind one of the tall hedges framing the doorway and out of earshot of the other partygoers.

“So, Kent, pray,” Katherine started, “how are you feeling?”

He pondered that for a moment. How was he feeling? “I don’t feel like I’m going to retch yet, so that’s good, I think.”

“Yes, that’s good.” She chuckled. “But I don’t mean physically. What have you been thinking about?”

A lot of things, he wanted to say. But what should he tell her? How exactly should he go about this? She already knew about Mo, how he would visit him, and how they were friends. But how would she react if he felt something more than friendship for Mo? Would she ridicule him? Be disgusted by him? Threaten him…?

No.

Katherine had always been by his side through thick and thin, heartache and heartbreak. Even if the topic might be a sensitive one, Kent knew his sister would always understand.

“You know I haven’t wanted to take a wife, Kathy. Not after how I was treated by Diana. Well, I’ve decided that I’d rather not want a wife at all.”

She scrunched her brows, her confused face dimly lit by the lanterns nearby. “At all? Kent, I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again: not all ladies are like Diana. She was a wretch; someone undeserving of you. You mustn’t give up because you’re still thinking of her?—”

“It’s not about Diana, though. This has nothing to do with her.”

“What? Then what is it? I know you are drunk, but you cannot make such large decisions like that because I know you’re not thinking straight at the moment?—”

“Kathy, please!” He laughed, somewhat nervous, somewhat out of frustration. “It’s something that’s been brewing for weeks now. What I mean is,” —he cleared his throat, dizziness rushing through him— “the one my heart is pulling me toward is not someone I can marry.”

“Not someone you can… Kent, what do you—?” It dawned on her, and her face stretched wide in surprise. “It’s the merman, isn’t it? Because of what you said earlier…”

Kent nodded, glad that she got the hint. “I’ve been feeling… ever stronger emotions for him. More than what a man should be feeling in a male friendship. So much that… I don’t wish to marry a lady because of it.”

She blinked.

And then she smiled.

“You really are falling for him, aren’t you?”

“Falling…? Well, when you put it like that?—”

“My brother, right here, is really, truly falling for a merman.”

“I don’t know, isn’t it so queer? I mean, I know it is, but…”

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