Page 64 of Unwanted

Jak tried to hide his surprise. He nodded slowly. Harper seemed surprised too as she watched the agent.

Agent Gallagher let out a long, slow breath. “Our only child, Abbi, died of leukemia three years ago. She was twenty years old. She’d been battling the disease since she was seventeen and a senior in high school. We—” His voice broke off then, and Jak could hear the breakable sadness in it, like the distant snap of something in the faraway that you couldn’t name but knew had lost a piece of itself. “We buried her, and we tried to find a reason to go on living.” He was quiet for a long time as he looked down at his hands.

Jak noticed Harper had the same look of sadness on her face as Agent Gallagher’s. I understand you, her look said. She was kind. Good. It made Jak feel…soft toward her.

“One day my wife Laurie and I were in the grocery store, and we ran into one of Abbi’s best friends, Ella. We hadn’t seen her since the funeral, and…well, she was six months pregnant, excited to be expecting her first. We said all the right things, I suppose. Smiled. But…it broke us. My wife and I went home and sat there, and it was”—he shook his head—“it was like losing her all over again. Losing what would have been. We lived in a tight community. We knew we’d watch—even if from a distance—all of Abbi’s friends get married, have children, and it…it felt unbearable.”

He looked up at Jak and Harper, giving them a sad smile. “Laurie’s sister lives in Montana and is raising two boys on her own. She’d been a great support to Laurie, and Laurie had been a great support to her when she went through her divorce, but she was far away. I thought I was doing the right thing when I applied to the Montana Department of Justice. I thought…a new start is what we needed. Somewhere the memories aren’t crushing at every turn. Somewhere we have family. And”—he took a deep breath—“all that’s been good. But the problem is, we still look at each other and all we see is Abbi. All we see are those hospital rooms, our daughter slipping away, and then that…casket.”

He was quiet again, and then he looked at Jak. “That’s what brought me to Montana, Jak. I’m here because I was running away, but I didn’t get far enough. I’m here because the thing I loved most in this world, my complete family, is no longer in it, and I can’t make sense of how we’ll ever be happy again. I’m lost, and I think you are too. And I’m not sure what can be done about my own situation, but I hope you’ll let me help you with yours.”

A tear slipped down Harper’s cheek, and she wiped at it quickly.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and Agent Gallagher nodded, giving her a sad smile.

Jak ran a hand over his jaw, still confused but feeling…like he had two people who might…who might be on his side. A breeze blew through him, carrying happiness. Fear.

“I woke up at the edge of a cliff. There was a man. He told me it might be the day I would die,” he said, the words tumbling over each other like they’d been a pile of sticks dammed up for a long time and finally been pushed free.

Harper’s eyes went wide, and she tilted her head, surprise so clear on her face. He pressed his lips together, not moving his eyes from hers. “But a huge piece of ice moved, making snow slide. I…went over.” He looked away. He wouldn’t tell about the other kids. If they knew about them, they’d find out he killed one of them. They’d find out all the other bad things he’d done. And if they found all that out, he’d stay in that tiny cage with the bad smells. He’d die there. Alone.

Harper’s face had lost color, and her body was held stiff. “I don’t understand.”

Agent Gallagher gave her a look that Jak didn’t understand. But the words inside him were moving—the dam had broken. He’d never said these words to another living person.

“I didn’t then. I still don’t. I know that Driscoll was…in on it somehow, but he wasn’t the man on the cliff. Driscoll told me there was a war.”

“A war?” Agent Gallagher asked, and Harper seemed to lose more color.

Jak looked away from her. He hated the look on her face—unbelieving. He didn’t know if she couldn’t believe what was done to him or if she couldn’t believe he’d fallen for it. Maybe he didn’t want to know. For the first time since he’d started talking, he wasn’t sure he should go on. But there didn’t seem to be a way to go back now.

“Jak,” Agent Gallagher said, and Jak looked at the man instead of Harper. That made it easier. He wanted so much for her to think good things of him. But he didn’t want her to leave either. He wanted her to know him, to understand him.

Maybe not all. Not that wild part he kept hidden inside. The part that had come out when he was starving and suffering, the part that he never wanted to come out ever again. But most. As much as he could let her and still have her want him.

Jak told the agent about Isaac Driscoll, about the war, about the enemy and what had kept Jak alone all this time.

“Do you know why he would do that? Lie to you that way?”

Jak shook his head, the anger rising like a wave. “No. He was watching me though. There were cameras in the trees.”

“Cameras?” Agent Gallagher leaned forward, putting his hands on the table. “Where?”

“I can’t see them anymore. They’re gone. I think Driscoll took them down.” He must have noticed Jak had stolen the pictures. Known he’d been in his cabin. Known he’d found out the truth.

Agent Gallagher frowned. “Okay. Do you have any idea where the recordings were going?”

Recordings? Jak didn’t know what that word meant. “I thought they took pictures. I don’t know where the pictures are,” he lied. He’d torn them into little pieces and thrown them in the river, watched them float away.

“Okay. Okay. And the man on the cliff, you’ve never seen him again?”

Jak shook his head.

“Jak, can you tell me what you remember before that?”

Jak glanced at Harper, the sight of her there beside him helping him feel brave. “A woman raised me until I was almost eight,” Jak said. “I don’t know her name. I think it was something that started with A. She said words different than the people on the TV, and she told me to talk like them, not like her. I called her Baka.” He told Agent Gallagher about how she’d taught him to read and how to count and to believe that he was strong. “That’s all I remember. I haven’t seen her since the night I fell asleep in my bed and then woke up…out here.”

Harper looked sad, and so did Agent Gallagher as he nodded. They were quiet for a minute before he said. “Thank you, Jak, for telling me the truth. You’ve given me lots of good information to work with.” He paused for a second. “One of the things I need to tell you is that the woman murdered in town, the one we questioned you about? Jak, she was your mother.”

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