Page 84 of Mob Princess

“Yes. You’re mulling over something else.”

“Do you think this is guilt and fear?” I’m positive he knows what I mean.

“If it were just guilt, I would have insisted my family get you back to Montreal. If it were just fear, my family guarding you would be enough for me. If were just guilt and fear, I wouldn’t need you in my arms to sleep. This connection we have is real.”

“Everything is supercharged right now. What about when things calm down? Assuming they do.”

“They will, and we will figure out how to be a normal couple together. Lina, I learn more about you by the minute, and I can’t stop my growing attraction. I don’t want to. I already knew you were intelligent and funny. I was part of those text conversations, and I still haven’t defeated your encryption. Though, I’ve been a little sidetracked. I knew you were independent and brave. You’ve moved countries three times. You’re steadfast. You’re loyal. You’re resolved. You’re?—”

“A cocker spaniel.” I kiss his cheek and nuzzle his neck.

“You can get on my lap anytime.”

He reaches for my ass, but he can only reach my lower back. He presses it to push me closer.

“You’re calm during a crisis. You’re skeptical of people you don’t know, and you learn from your past. You’re not easily intimidated, and if you are, you’ve mastered your poker face. You’re thoughtful. You’re accepting of things you can’t change but willing to push for the things you believe should. You’re?—”

“I get it, nounours. You see things about me I don’t see in myself.”

“And you’re hot as sin.”

He shifts to kiss me, so I make it easier. I push up to bring my head level with his. Our mouths meet, and there is no world around us. We recognize his limitations, so this isn’t lust. This began as physical attraction the day we met. Now… It reminds me of the article with the adaptive oscillators. I still don’t know what those are, but ours synced. They’ve intertwined.

“Did you know that everything you said about me is what I already think about you?” I whisper as my forefinger and thumb turn his head farther toward me, and I begin the next kiss.

The arm beneath me moves, and his hand fists my hair. His hold is tight, but he doesn’t tug. That would pull me away from this kiss. He shifts his leg between mine, so his thigh presses against my pussy.

“Anyone could walk in on us.”

“Good thing you climbed under the covers when you got into bed. Move on my leg, cailín. You know I would do more if I could.”

“I know.”

“I take care of you, Lina. Not just your safety. More than that.”

“I know.”

“I want to be the only man in your bed. The only man in your arms. The only man responsible for making sure you have everything you need and everything I can give you that you want.”

“You are. You’re all of those. I only feel safe when I’m with you. Your family keeps me from losing it. But you’re the only one I trust because you’ve already put me first. You risked your life for me.”

“And I will any time there’s a threat.”

“We’re both into BDSM. We understand the power dynamics of those relationships. It’s sexual, but it’s deeper than that because it satisfies emotional and mental needs. At the same time, though, there’s a distance. It’s not the same as a romantic relationship. I’m in over my head, and I want to let you take control, Sean. Not just physically when you’re well. I need to lean against you because everything in me tells me you’re my haven. That if I let you take control—rather than me panicking when I feel out of control—we’ll both feel better. I think you need that too. You can’t control all of this right now, and that must be driving you nuts. You’re not letting me see it, but I know it. You can control where I go and who I go with. You can control whether I’m with you or how long we’re apart. You can control my physical needs. You can because I want you to. I want to let go of all of that. I want you to take it, so you don’t feel adrift. It’s the only way I won’t feel lost.”

I’ve stopped moving against his leg, and his hand in my hair merely cups my head. I close my eyes and sigh. I didn’t know how heavy all of that was until now. The more I said, the more I felt him relax. He reaches across his chest with a wince. Then his fingers are down the front of my dress and under my bra. He tweaks my nipple. Hard. It’s like a key in my ignition. My hips rock, and my pussy rubs against him.

“I am protective and possessive with you. The first isn’t something new to me. The second is completely foreign. I grew up in a family with seven kids. I shared everything and never minded. I won’t share you with anyone. I won’t let anyone come near you that you don’t want. No one tells you what to do.”

“But you, nounours.” I murmur that, not wanting to interrupt him but remind him.

“If this is what you want, then you are mine, Lina. You take back control the moment you want to, and I will never argue with you about it. I will respect every limit and every boundary you have. I will never guilt you or coerce you to keep that control. But while I have it, it’s absolute. Can you live with that?”

“Yes. At least until we’re through all this.”

“That’s what I meant. When I’m convinced you’re no longer in imminent danger, we reassess.”

He kisses me, and it’s savage. It’s one to dominate me and remind me of my submission. Except he doesn’t have to. I want him to lead, so I can follow. In the past, I’ve only agreed to this during sex and only in specific situations. I’ve never done this emotionally—at least, not beyond the emotional satisfaction I got from that kind of sex.

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