Page 50 of Mob Princess

“Nounours, this has been one of the strangest yet happiest days I’ve ever had. If you change your mind while you’re gone, I understand. A lot has happened in the last four hours.”

“I was going to say the same thing to you. If you realize this isn’t right for you, then tell me. I only want what’s best for you.” Me.

“I know. I feel the same way. If I’m going back to Boston, and you have to come back here, I don’t know when we’ll see each other next.”

“Me neither, but I have access to the jet. My carbon footprint is going to be as big as the Himalayas, but I can tell my conscience to shut the feck up about that.”

She grins at me. “I think it’s adorable that you won’t swear in front of me. I think it’s sexy as sin when you do during sex or dirty talk.” She lowers her voice to a whisper as though we’re conspiring.

“Yeah, well, my parents would rake me over the coals if they found out I swore in front of a woman or a kid. But I definitely am not sharing what we say in private with anyone else.”

Her smile broadens. She goes onto her toes to give me a peck. “Be careful, Sean. Whatever this is, just be careful.”

I pull her tighter and glide one hand down to her arse. She tilts her head back, and I lean in for a kiss. We linger over it, shifting from tender to passionate to tender again. She presses her cheek to my chest when we pull apart. I know what I have to do, and that man won’t be the one who’s holding her as though she’s the most precious thing in the world. She is.

“I will, cailín. There’s still so much of the future for us to see.”

“Together.” Her voice is soft as though she doesn’t want me to hear the note of uncertainty. It’s almost as though she’s asking a question.

“I hope so. It’s what I want, Lina. At the very least, I want to try. I know this is moving at warp speed for you but having a few weeks to think about you and spending a few hours with you is equivalent to months and years in my world.”

“I get it. This isn’t the first time someone’s explained it to me that way. I like your decisiveness. I don’t have to guess where you stand. It’s refreshing. It means I can be myself, which is often painfully blunt. I don’t have to hide behind what I want and reveal it slowly in fear of scaring you off.”

“I don’t know that I’ll be able to call or text you while I’m gone. I may not have my phone on. If you need anything, contact Finn or my cousins. They’ll know how to get in touch with me.”

“I know how this works, Sean. The mob is all I’ve ever known. I told you. I know the protocols and routines. Trust that I’m in excellent hands with Seamus and Cormac. I know, at the very least, they would never want to disappoint you. Your bond is so strong and present that it could be the fifth person in the room.”

I don’t want to let go, so instead, I swoop in for one more kiss. Then I force myself to let go. I glance at her before I walk to the door. Cormac and Seamus follow me, but I watch Lina.

“Níl a fhios agam go maithfidh sí dom. Ní féidir liom a rá léi go bhfuilim ag dul go Dún na Séad anocht chun spiaireacht a dhéanamh ar Ewan. Tá mé fós buartha faoi cad a dhéanfaidh sé nuair a thiocfaidh sí abhaile amárach. B'fhéidir go mbeinn ar ais faoin am sin, nó b'fhéidir go mbeidh mé in áit éigin eile. Ba mhaith liom go bhféadfainn a mhíniú cén fáth a bhfuil an chuid seo á cheilt agam.” I don’t know that she'll forgive me. I can’t tell her I'm headed to Baltimore tonight to spy on Ewan. I’m still worried about what he’ll do when she gets home tomorrow. I might be back by then, or I might end up somewhere else. I wish I could explain why I’m hiding this part.

Cormac shakes his head. “Is é an chúis le bréag a fhágáil ar lár ná í a choinneáil slán. Ag insint di defeats go.” The reason to lie by omission is to keep her safe. Telling her defeats that.

Seamus is a bit more sympathetic. “Ní hionann sin is a rá go mbeidh sé níos fusa bréagadh a dhéanamh nó seans go maithfidh sí agus go ndéanfaidh sí dearmad nuair a fhaigheann sí amach.” That doesn't mean it makes it any easier to lie or any more likely she'll forgive and forget once she finds out.

I’m looking at them when I really want to watch Lina. She turned on the TV, probably to drown us out. A courtesy. I know her father and uncle didn’t, and Ewan doesn’t speak Gaelic. Jean-Peter’s pretty proficient, but not enough to have taught his granddaughter to be fluent. I doubt Barnard offers Irish Gaelic in its Modern Languages department, and it wasn’t one offered at Georgetown. But who knows? She could have learned it from YouTube. She’s being polite.

My cousins and I continue in Irish. “Protect her. She’s special.”

Seamus smothers a snort that comes out sounding more like a cough. Cormac rolls his eyes. I glare at them.

“You know we will. And it’s obvious how you feel about each other.” Cormac shifts to glance back at Lina before returning his gaze to me. “What if we find out something about her you won’t like?”

I’ve thought about that already, and it feels like a bear claw is reaching into my gut and pulling my stomach out through my belly button.

“I know it’s a possibility. I pray there’s nothing, and if there is, it’s reasonable and explicable if she’s given a chance. I don’t want to imagine she’s playing me for a fool.”

Seamus shrugs. “It’s more likely we’d discover something she doesn’t even know. If she were truly in the thick of this shite, we would have heard about her before.”

I’d like to think that’s the reason.

“Okay. I gotta go.” I look between them to Lina. I can’t call her cailín in front of my cousins. They know what it means, and I’m certain they’ve heard Dillan and Finn call their wives that. I’m not ready to share that much. They’d recognize any other Irish terms of endearment.

“Je reviendrai dès que possible, ma choupette.” I’ll be back as soon as I can, my sweetheart.

My cousins will understand the first part, but I doubt they’ll know what choupette means. It can be darling or sweetheart. I’ve even heard someone use it to mean baby, but not like an infant. If she knows that, then she’ll know it’s as close to little girl as I dare come without my cousins understanding.

“Je serai prête, nounours.” I’ll be ready, teddy.

---