Page 34 of Mob Princess

I move her, so her head is at the edge of the bed. She’s perpendicular to me. She knows what I want, so she tilts her head back off the side. I slide my cock into her mouth, careful not to shove it down her throat—despite the consuming temptation.

“You really think I don’t want you to touch me. You really think I don’t need you to touch me. You are going to swallow all my cum, little girl. Suck me.”

I close my eyes as she works my cock. Fucking hell. I’m coming already. I have never gotten off this fast. It’s embarrassingly fast. She’d watched me. She knew I couldn’t last. She licks me as I pull out. I shift her again, propping pillows under her head in case the angle she was in hurt her neck.

“I didn’t want you to know how soon I was going to come if you touched me. But now you do. If you want me to last long enough to fuck more than your mouth or hand, you’ll understand why I won’t let you touch me when I’m too close to coming.”

“Sean, please don’t hold back. This isn’t about how long or short this lasts. I still don’t want you pleasuring yourself. I get now that it’s not about your feelings toward me. But it makes me feel—” She shrugs.

I help her sit up before I sit on the edge. She twists, and I hold her upper body.

“It makes me feel empty. Hollow. Separate from you. It felt amazing having you rub my clit, but I couldn’t concentrate on that because of how badly I wanted to be the one touching you. I don’t get why my emotions are swinging from one end of the pendulum to the other over and over when I’m with you. I don’t know how to deal with this. Why are we like this?”

Chapter Six

Lina

I’ve shared more about myself, my thoughts, and my feelings, than I did at my first confession. I went to the priest with a list. If I was going to be absolved, I wanted to be absolved. Now I’m confused, scared, nervous, and horny. That is a powerful but wholly negative state to be in.

My question hangs in the air, and I would swallow it if I could. But I can’t. This entire situation intimidates me, but my most immediate fear is that I’ve finally pushed too far, wanting Sean to explain his feelings more than he’s willing. He said he doesn’t show emotion even if he feels them. I’m not just asking him to show me. I’m asking him to explain them.

“I don’t know, cailín. I don’t know enough psychology to understand primal attraction, but I think that’s what I feel. Maybe it was pheromones or something that drew me to you. But everything I’ve learned since then makes me want to get to know you more and more. It doesn’t help that whatever this is that we share also brings more danger than either or both of us already lives with. I think it’s heightening all our emotions.”

“I only found out who you are an hour and a half ago. You’ve known since last night. I know I wanted you before we had lunch. I still want you. But what about you? Does knowing I’m a Tremblay and an O’Malley change how you feel about me? Not the situation, but me.”

“About you? No. I’m still as physically attracted as I was before I saw your last name. It’s not that lust is my top priority, but I just proved I desire you. There’s no point in ignoring the obvious. I didn’t keep our lunch date to toy with you. Everything about you impresses me. The way you maneuvered Amanda into a corner and came to my rescue. The way you make me relax when I’m talking to you. Yes, you do. I swear.” He cuts me off before I object. “And the skill and intelligence it takes to keep me out of files I’ve perused countless times is as arousing as it is incredible. But I have been angry and frustrated that we are who we are. I’ve doubted you and me. Doubted this. I didn’t know what I was going to do at lunch. When I arrived to pick you up, I didn’t know how I would feel when I saw you.”

He stops, and I want to know more. I wait for him to continue, but he remains quiet.

“Sean, what did you feel?”

“I saw Nishida leave before you. I knew what that meant the moment I spied him. It pissed me off. I’m angry Ewan put you in danger. Who knows who saw you coming and going from the same building within minutes of each other? I’m angry that Nishida is doing business with your family when my cousin met with him weeks ago. I’m certain he’s playing both of our families. I’m angry that I’m in a position where what I want and what I should do are so vastly different. I’m angry that when everyone discovers which one of those I chose, they’re going to have a meltdown that I’m going to have to deal with.”

He runs his hand through his hair and takes a deep inhale. I know there’s more, so I say nothing.

“I was suspicious about whether you really knew who I was and were stringing me along. I was suspicious that you were using me to get to my family. I was suspicious that you’re making me a target for either side of your family. Then we were alone in the car. I didn’t stop myself from going after what I want. But reality slammed back into me when we got to the restaurant, and I remembered you had a bodyguard following you. I didn’t know if you’d told him to watch me, so he could tell Ewan.”

“Earlier you said, ‘which you chose.’ What does that mean?”

“You. I chose you.”

“And if that turns out to be a mistake? That we aren’t compatible after all? That our families shit mountains of bricks?”

“Then I live with it. I’m thirty-one-years-old. In all the years I’ve been aware of sexual and emotional attraction, no one has affected me like you have in the weeks since we met. You can guess why dating is difficult. You know there are things I can never share. Not even with you. But if I’d really wanted to—if I’d met someone in the past—I would have figured it out. But I’ve never met anyone who even tempts me. I don’t need to date to have sex. I belong to a BDSM club, too. I have for years. I have standing arrangements that are over now. I won’t go back to them. I didn’t miss emotional companionship either because, until four months ago, my brothers, cousins, and I were inseparable. I have a twin. I’ve never truly been on my own since my conception. You make me want something that held no interest for me before I met you.”

“What’s that?”

“A relationship.”

Those two words hang in the air. Not because they anger me or repulse me. They unnerve me. He told me he wouldn’t leave until I told him to. That hinted at a relationship, but it could have been purely sexual. I don’t think that’s what he means. So that shocks me. I didn’t think he’d be interested in a romantic relationship once I knew who he was. I hoped before I did, and I hope so again. But the moment I realized he’s an O’Rourke, I figured that ship had sailed. Fuck. The moment he realized who I was, that ship should have taken on water and gone under.

“I want that, too.”

I watch him, but his expression turned inscrutable when he started explaining. It hasn’t changed since. He’s guarding his emotions. He’s vulnerable, but he’d rather I not realize it. Or at least, he’d rather not make it obvious. We’re laying shit bare. I don’t want him to hide from me.

“Sean, you said we wouldn’t be fuck buddies. I don’t want that either. There’s a shit ton that’s against us already. I don’t know that I can or that we should enter a relationship yet. Not anything official. But I want to work toward that. I want that to be the goal.”

“I feel that way, too. A relationship is what I want. But I don’t think it’s going to manifest because I put it out there to the universe. I want to make my intentions clear.”

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