Page 31 of Mob Princess

I want her to know she’s special to me. Like I can’t describe it, but I already know I’m on the same road Dillan and Finn paved for me. There’s no point in fighting the current because these feelings are already sweeping me away.

We’re quiet for a few minutes as we eat. That shite got heavy fast. I’m uncertain what she’s thinking about, so what she says next surprises me.

“Can we get through tonight together as just normal people? Then I’ll tell you what I can about Ewan.”

“Cailín, I don’t expect you to share family secrets.”

“Even though you wish I would. You don’t expect it because you don’t want me to expect the same in return.”

“I’ll admit to the first part, but it isn’t because of what you’ll expect in return. I won’t ask because I hate that you’re already in the middle. It’s a dangerous place for you to be.”

“You said I’m yours until I tell you to leave. I will leave if this puts you in danger.”

“So, you’re going to keep one foot out the door and ready to run. You know the danger I’m in since you’ve stayed for lunch and still want to see me for dinner. If that danger gets inconvenient, you can bolt.”

“No.” She glances over her shoulder. “Is Ewan going to put a hit on you the moment he finds out? Will my grandfather?”

“I don’t know.” It’s true.

“Now that I know who you are, I know there’s always danger surrounding you. I meant if the threat is credible and impending. I won’t lead them to you and serve you on a platter. I will leave before that happens. I don’t want you to die like my?—”

She presses her lips between her teeth. She’s just connected another set of dots. She knows I had something to do with her father’s death. She just doesn’t know what.

“I need to know what you know about that, Lina. But we can’t talk about it here.”

“I know.” She sounds morose as she goes back to her food.

I want nothing more than to hold her like I did in the car. Just have her in my arms, so I can comfort her. I won’t promise that everything will be all right because it absolutely won’t be. But I’ll do my damnedest to make most of it all right.

I’ve lost my appetite, but I don’t want her to feel like the meal is over. I won’t rush her through it, so I finish most of mine. It really is delicious. My brother is the best cook of the six of us. Our parents made sure we can cook because they said the cafeterias closed when we moved out. No more sweeping through their houses and expecting to find food ready for us. Finn likes to ensure there’s good food wherever he goes. Seamus and Cormac might be the biggest of Finn, Shane, Dillan, them, and me, but Finn can eat the most. The man is a stomach that happens to have arms and legs.

Lina pushes her food around a bit but eats most of it. She finally lays her knife and fork down. She meets my gaze, and I have the surge of protectiveness course through me again.

“I think I’m going to cancel my next meeting.” Her voice is barely more than whisper.

“Do you not feel well? Do you want me to take you to your hotel?”

“I feel fine, but I’m tired. I don’t know where I want to go, but it isn’t to the meeting.”

Her left hand is resting on the table, and the inside of her thumb is swiping over the tip of her index fingernail. She doesn’t seem aware. I wonder if that’s an unconscious nervous habit or just something for today.

“Sean, how on earth can this possibly work? I want to tell you everything for a few reasons, but I can’t tell you anything. I can’t betray my family. They don’t deserve that from me even if they’ve been shitty to you. I don’t want to draw you closer to an enemy and put your head on a chopping block. It’s not just about Ewan and Granddad. Anything I tell you endangers everyone connected to the O’Malleys and the Tremblays. That includes my mom and stepmom. I said I’d tell you everything, and I still want to. But I can’t.”

“And I don’t expect you to. I told you that.”

“I appreciate it. But it doesn’t put me any less in the middle. It’s going to piss your family off when they find out you hooked up with me. And it’s pretty much inevitable both of our families will know. With Justin and Haydon here to confirm it, the town criers are already out.”

“I didn’t hook up with you, Lina. We didn’t have and won’t have a one-night stand. We aren’t becoming fuck buddies, either.”

“I’m going to cancel the meeting this afternoon. I want to see you tonight through to tomorrow morning. But I have to go back to Boston. I can’t stay here any longer, or Ewan will shit a brick.”

“When you get home, I don’t want this to be over.” Do I sound like I’m begging? It feels like it.

“It won’t be. Can we keep texting and talking on the phone?”

“I’d like that.”

“Me too. Do you have meetings this afternoon?”

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