Page 70 of Mafia Star

I try to temper it and be a little vague. It was just this morning that she thought she wanted to end things. It didn’t last much longer than a shower, but I can’t forget she had that moment of feeling overwhelmed. I don’t have the words to describe where we’re at now if that was too much.

“Marco, forget this morning before we left your place. I woke up thinking about how I want to make my life with you. I plead a moment of temporary insanity. That panic came and went. It had before we set off. I have never been so scared in my life. But I wasn’t scared for me. I was scared for you. They might have hurt me, but I was convinced they were going to kill you. I asked your dad at least twice if they were really going to bring you in. I was terrified they’d say something like you resisted arrest or tried to go for an officer’s gun. Anything that would justify them shooting you. That blinding fear started the moment you turned around to shoot the first time. I realized how exposed you were. When that guy fought you, all of that fear turned into rage. Something gave me the restraint to only shoot him in the shoulder. It wasn’t just you holding my wrists. But if he’d swung again, I would have killed him. I do not doubt that for a moment. If anything should have overwhelmed me and made me have doubts, it was everything that happened at the restaurant. All it did was solidify the fact that it is us against the world. You and me— and your family. We aren’t separate anymore. It’s us from now on.”

“God, I love you.”

“I love you.”

Our kiss is so incredibly tender until it’s not. As always, the flicker turns into a flame. My ribs are bruised, and my legs are killing me from running and now standing. But I’m not passing up the opportunity to finally have shower sex with my girlfriend. I lift her, and she wraps her legs around my waist just before I thrust into her. I press her back against the wall, giving me some relief from bearing all her weight. If the car was gentle, this is frantic. Her nails scrape over my scalp and back. My fingers are going to leave marks on her ass.

My mark. Mine. Mine. Mine.

“I am yours, Daddy.”

I must have spoken aloud. Or maybe it’s our telepathy. I understood her each time we exchanged a look. We didn’t need words earlier. Right now, they’re just nice to hear.

We’re done nearly as fast as we started. I lower her to her feet, and we take turns washing each other’s hair and bodies. I might insist we never shower alone again.

“I know what fantasy I wish we could enact. But it would require going to the club, and I’m too scared to leave here tonight.”

Tears well in her eyes as she admits her ongoing fear.

“What do you want, piccolina?”

“I want to be bound and suspended in the air. I want to be entirely at your mercy. Blindfolded, gagged. I’ll even take the ear plugs.”

That’s an enormous sign of trust since she told me from the get-go that those are a hard limit.

“I don’t want to know what you’re going to do to me. I don’t want to know whether you’re going to make me wait or start immediately. I want you to leave me long enough each time to grow nervous. I want to take my punishment like that too.”

“You want to submit entirely to me tonight.”

“Yes. I want to give you absolute control. I want to know that it’s my decision to do that. That no one took control from me. But I also want to give it to you because I trust you to always take care of me. Because I know you need to have it as much as I need to relinquish it. After my punishment, I know I won’t get to come. I want to do whatever you desire to get you off. Clamps, plugs, any kind of impact play, heat, cold. Whatever you need.”

“You want to be a sex slave for tonight.”

“I guess that’s what I described. Or basically a sex doll. I don’t know. But that’s not how I see it. I see it as showing you that my trust is absolute and that my love is unconditional.”

The images her words conjure. Lab.Oratory is pretty hardcore in a lot of spaces. The rooms might be cute, and the amenities are top of the line. But the things that go on there are not for novices to explore alone. Knowing that, I know Beth means what she says. She understands what she’s offering me. That sentiment is worth more than anything we can physically do. That said, I know we need this. I won’t take her there ever again. Not now that I know the feds are aware of my membership and hinted that they knew about hers. We’ll find somewhere else or build something in our place wherever that is.

I picture her place and mine. Is there anywhere I could suspend her from? Is there anything high enough and sturdy enough? My mind is ticking in overtime. Gabriele owns several hardware stores, so I could get what I need fast. But then there would be the question of why. Or worse, Gabe’s kinky ass would guess. All the men of my generation have the same proclivities, apparently. We don’t discuss it. We just know.

Fuck. Nothing is coming to mind. Do I try to get a guest pass at one of the other clubs? No. Definitely not. I’m not taking Beth anywhere public like that even if they’re exclusive and supposedly private. I can’t picture a hotel that isn’t some seedy pay-by-the-hour place that might have what I’m looking for. Fucking-a.

My libido is in overdrive imagining what she suggested, but more than anything, I want to give her this. I told her to pick a fantasy. She’s confided in me what she wants and needs.

“Daddy, I can hear the gears spinning. That fantasy doesn’t have to be tonight. Some day. I— um —I have a few things here.”

Her face flushes deep red. I try not to see red.

“The vibrators are ones I’ve only ever used on myself. The other stuff I got because I hoped we’d…”

She’s not sure where to look. I’m looking at a body that I still want to taste every inch of.

“What do you have, piccolina?”

“Shibari rope.”

She really likes the idea of being restrained.

---