Page 53 of The Unraveling

The answer comes to me easily enough, but it’s not because of you. No, it’s because there’s someone else I’m attracted to, and I’ve always been a one-man kind of woman.

Gabriel.

I think of his mouth, his eyes. His thick hair. I think about a dream I had just last night, our skin on skin, his hands clasped in mine, his lips on my neck—

“I had a dream about that.”

“And?”

My lips part, and for a moment I think he wants details. But of course, he’s only asking how I feel about it. What I thought about being physical in my dream. The same thing I’d ask my own patients, because our dreams often reflect some element of our reality.

“It felt good,” I say. “So maybe. Perhaps with the right person.”

Dr. Alexander nods, satisfied. “And how is work going? You’ve been back a few weeks now, yes?”

“It’s going well.” I bite my lip and consider my words. Dr. Alexander tilts his head, looks at me over his glasses, and I know what he’s waiting for. “I referred Gabriel somewhere else,” I say. Which is true. I did have Sarah refer him out.

“Good job. I’m sure that was difficult. How did he take it?”

“He took it well.” Technically, it’s not a lie. But the pressure builds inside me—the knowledge that I’m doing something that could get me in trouble again. That like my own pathologically lying patient, I’m untruthful to my therapist. But I’m not pathological—these are normal lies. Tiny white ones. And this time, it’s for Gabriel’s benefit, not mine.

He said I was helping him.

“It sounds like you’re making real progress, Meredith,” Dr. Alexander says.

I settle back into the couch, a serene smile on my face. “I couldn’t agree more.”

CHAPTER 22 Now

Thank you again for agreeing to see me for a little while longer.”

Gabriel’s beard is gone. It’s the first time I’ve seen the angular lines of his jaw, the fullness of his lips. I’d liked his scruff. But this—this is a whole different level. He notices me staring, so I have to say some-thing.

“I’m sorry.” I smile and motion to my own chin. “You look so different without your beard.”

He flashes a crooked smile. “Different good or different bad?”

Considering he’s been hiding bone structure that would make a sculptor weep and lips women would pay a small fortune for, I definitely prefer seeing more of him. Yet I go for the objective answer.

“You can pull off either look.”

“That’s a very safe response. Something like I might give a woman if she asks me which dress looks best.”

“Well, I suppose this way, clean-shaven, I can see more of your face. It shows your expressions more, which helps me understand what you’re feeling better. So for professional reasons, I’ll go with no beard.”

“Uh-oh.” He smirks. “I’d better grow it back if you’re going to be able to see what I’m feeling.”

I smile. He’s in a playful mood today. Borderline flirty, even. I’m curious why.

I rest my hands on the closed notebook on my lap. “So how have things been since our last session? Anything new going on?”

Gabriel looks down at his feet. “It’s a little embarrassing to talk about, but yeah, something has come up.” He looks at me with a shy smile, reads the confusion on my face, and laughs. “My sex drive has sort of come back.”

I swallow past a lump of unexpected jealousy in my throat. “I see. So you’ve met someone?”

“No, I just meant—well, it’s been a long time since I wanted any pleasure.” Gabriel lifts his hand and wiggles his fingers. “Even self-pleasure.”

Oh. Oh!

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