Page 6 of The Story Of Us

“Okay, where shall we go then?” Avery knows something's wrong, but she won’t push me to talk about it, trusting that I’ll do so when I feel up to it.

We decide on a new Italian restaurant that’s about a twenty-minute walk away from school. She pulls on a cardigan and we stop by my room so I can grab a jacket before starting our walk to the restaurant. I decide not to think about Isaac for the rest of the night and just enjoy that I’m back at school with my best friend.

2

ISAAC

I don’t know how I didn’t see her at all yesterday.

In the numerous trips back and forth from my car to Izzy’s room - where she stayed and refused to help carry any of her boxes because she’s the laziest fifteen-year-old on earth - I didn’t catch sight of her once. I think even just seeing her from a distance would have helped calm the thoughts that have been racing through my head since I last saw her before summer.

She left school a week early, and sometime during the holidays, a terrible thought crept into my mind: what if she didn’t come back? I’m not saying she’d change schools just because of me, but she’d been mentioning missing her mum and wanting to spend more time with her before we moved away to university. What if she just decided to finish up closer to home this year instead?

Luckily, while I was helping Izzy unpack her stuff while she was just sitting there, she mentioned that she’d bumped into Violet earlier that day. It offered me some relief that she was back and that I’d be able to see her at some point. I don’t feel optimistic at all that she’ll speak to me, but just seeing her and knowing she’s okay will be enough. I kept Izzy’s door propped open the whole day, hoping that I’d at least be able to see Violet walking past, but that didn’t happen, and I left their building feeling all sorts of mixed up.

I spent all night tossing and turning, only managing to get a few hours of sleep before I gave up and started unpacking my stuff. A cool breeze drifts through the window, keeping me awake as I sort out everything that I couldn’t yesterday because I was focused on getting Izzy settled. The sound of all the students on the field in between the two dorm buildings spills through my open window, everyone enjoying their last full day of freedom before school starts tomorrow.

From my room on the fourth floor, I can see my friends sitting together. Jinhee’s lying down with her head on Luke’s lap, and Olivia is opposite them. I told them I would catch up with them later once I’ve finished unpacking, but the act of taking things out of boxes and putting them away feels robotic at this point. I thought I could hold off on the absent feeling that seems to consume me more often these days, but it’s hit me already.

Everyone I love is within my reach, but I’ve never felt more distant from any of them.

I continue like that for a little longer, lost in thoughts of university applications and the upcoming school year. I try not to let my thoughts drift to Violet, but it’s impossible when I start organising my desk. The birthday cards I got from her are still pinned to the wall above it, hidden amongst random drawings and cards from my friends.

I reach my fingers out to touch them, but a knock on my door forces me to step back and wipe my palms on my jeans. Luke enters my room before I can even tell him to come in, and I glance out the window to see Olivia and Jinhee aren’t on the grass anymore.

“You still haven’t finished?” he asks, looking around at the boxes scattered around my floor and bed.

“I just have some clothes left to put away,” I say as I start flattening some of the empty boxes and gathering them in a small pile.

“Do you want some help?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

Luke goes to one of the half-empty boxes and starts pulling out clothes, going through them one by one and laying them all on my bed in two piles instead of putting them on hangers.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to see if you have anything new I can take.”

He holds a dark hoodie up against his torso, shuffling over to the floor-length mirror on the wall next to the bathroom so he can look at himself. Luke is a little taller than me, but that hasn’t stopped him from wearing my clothes. He repeats this process a few more times, and I try to ignore him, but it’s already getting later in the day, and I haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch and just feel exhausted. I snatch the t-shirt he’s holding out of his hands and throw it onto one of the piles.

“If you’re not going to help, you can just leave.” I snap, my patience wearing thinner by the minute. Everything just feels like it’s slipping away and out of my control, and I don’t know how to fix it.

“I was just messing around.” Luke holds both hands up in surrender, trying to hide the hurt look on his face, but I catch it. I immediately regret what I said, a habit that seems to happen far too often with the people I love.

A sigh escapes me, and I sit at my desk, taking my glasses off and bringing my hands to my face so I can press the heel of my hands into my eyes. The light pressure always calms me down, and although I’ve tried to stop doing it, I started up again over the summer. Luke hadn’t done anything wrong, so there was no reason for me to snap at him.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Are you okay, Isaac? Be honest with me. You’ve been weird all summer.”

I hate that I can’t even tell my best friend what’s wrong. After the first few times we met for our birthday, it became an unspoken agreement between Violet and me that we wouldn’t tell anyone about us. Even at the start of our friendship, when we were both too young to understand what was building between us, it was something we wanted to keep just for ourselves.

I’ve spent the majority of my life with my friend group. I’ve known Luke and Olivia since I was four years old, and although Jinhee joined our group much later, she’s been as constant in my life as the other two.

Having a friendship, a relationship, just something, that was separate from them felt special.

When Violet and I finally made that step to becoming closer to each other, I wanted to protect what we had, keep it safe and secure so nothing and no one could come between us. I know my friends wouldn’t have said anything bad about us, but it felt like something precious and mine, and I didn’t want to share that with anyone.

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