Page 49 of The Story Of Us

“I wanted to,” she says simply.

I close my eyes, relief and gratitude washing over me. There’s no doubt in my mind now that Violet still feels something for me. It might not be the same way I feel about her, but the fact that she’s here, that she stayed while I slept, and is taking care of me right now, says more than any words ever could.

“Thank you,” is all I manage to get out before the calming motion of her hand on my head sends me off to sleep again.

The first thing I see when I open my eyes is Violet.

She’s still here.

“Hi.” My voice is croaky, the word coming out stifled.

“Hi.” There’s a warmth in her eyes that I haven’t seen in a long time. I wish I could take a picture of her right now, use it as a reference to draw her later because she’s always been my greatest muse.

“What time is it?” I ask her, noticing the fading light outside my window.

“A little after five.”

She came to see me just after midday, which means she’s been here for five hours now. I wouldn’t believe it if she hadn’t touched me earlier because it feels too much like a dream.

But she really stayed, and she’s really here.

“Thanks for staying.”

“I didn’t want to leave without saying anything.”

I give her the most grateful smile I can muster up, but my eyelids are feeling heavy, and I think I’m going to fall asleep again. Violet must notice because she stands and checks the patch on my forehead before deciding to replace it. I close my eyes as I feel her take it off and fix a new one, that same soothing motion of her pushing my hair back and smoothing my forehead.

“I’m going to go now. I’ll tell Izzy you’re resting.”

“Thank you.”

Her hand drifts down from my forehead to cup my cheek, her thumb grazing across it once before she lets go.

“I hope you feel better soon.”

I hear her walk away from me, and I want to say something, ask her to come back, ask her to stay with me because she’s healing me more than any medicine ever could, but then I hear the door open and close, and I let sleep take me once again.

19

VIOLET

As much as I was worried about going home on Friday night to see my mum, it ended up working out better than I expected. I didn’t get the response I wanted from her, but at least we’re in a better place now.

When I showed up at the door, she was surprised to see me, and a part of me was nervous that I might get turned away, but all she did was pull me into a hug and apologise for how she’d been acting.

We did a lot of talking that night, both of us opening up to each other about how we were feeling and what my decision meant for us. We’ve never hidden much from each other because we’ve only ever had one another to confide in. But I explained to her that as much as I loved that about our relationship, it also led to issues like this, where we might end up being too dependent on each other.

She agreed but still voiced her concerns about me moving away for university. She said she was worried she was losing me, that I was getting further away from her, and eventually, I’d leave for good. As much as I tried to reassure her that wouldn’t happen, I could tell she didn’t believe me, and she’s still against me moving away. Obviously, we weren’t going to reach an agreement any time soon, and although it hurts not to have her full support, I know what I need to do for myself.

I slept at home and then came back to school the next morning, which is when I visited Isaac. When I noticed he wasn’t in class on Friday and hadn’t been responding to my texts, I asked Izzy where he was. After a bit of teasing, she was more than happy to tell me. It seems like she’s been crafting a master plan in her head to get Isaac and me together, so when I offered to go and check on him, she was over the moon.

Of course, I didn’t tell Isaac that.

Even though I was looking after him, touching his wrist now and then to check he wasn’t too hot, making sure the patch on his head was still cool, fixing the blankets around him when he moved around too much, it felt like I was taking care of a part of myself too.

As much as I tried to keep my distance from him when we came back to school, there’s still a part of me that’s connected to him, and I hated the idea of him being alone while he wasn’t well. All of the feelings that come with years of friendship and then dating can’t just disappear overnight - as much as I wish they had when we first broke up.

The first few days after the breakup are still so vivid in my mind. We only had a few days left of school, but I told everyone I was sick, and in some ways, I felt like I was. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, it was like I was completely separate from my body and floating above it.

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