Page 41 of The Story Of Us

I tilt my chin up, swallowing hard to get rid of the lump in my throat.

Isaac

I’ll be at our spot at 2

Jaanu

Okay

I keep my eyes fixed on the screen, waiting to see if she’ll say anything else but she doesn’t. I swipe out of our conversation and text Luke to update him.

Isaac

I’m seeing her on Sunday

Luke

I told you it would all work out

You just have to get through this exam tomorrow and then you’ll be back at school

I don’t reply, thoughts of the LNAT ruining the mood I was just in. I’m not going to deliberately try to fail, but I don’t have the confidence to get a good score. Whatever happens tomorrow, at least I have something to look forward to after.

15

VIOLET

I’m standing outside the door again, pacing back and forth as I prepare myself to go in and see Isaac. I peeked through the window a second ago and saw him sitting at his usual spot, waiting for me. This is the second time we’ve met here since breaking up, and I’ve shown up late this time, too. I don’t ever want to be the one who has to wait for him again.

I went through a whole range of emotions when he texted me. I was on the phone with Avery, talking to her about my mum still not responding to me when it came through. At first, I thought I was just imagining it, but then, when I tapped on it, it was real. All he said was ‘hi’, just one word but it had me on the verge of breaking down.

Seeing it at the bottom of all the other messages he’d sent me over the summer got me thinking about how much I’d missed seeing his name pop up on my phone. Even though I didn’t respond to anything he sent while we were at home, there was some part of me that still liked getting his messages because it meant he was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about him.

Our conversation was short, and when he asked to meet up, I was hesitant at first. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and give him the chance to explain, but I don’t know how I’ll feel once I hear it. But if I want to move on from this and give him another chance at being friends or whatever, then I know I need to face him.

As soon as I step forward to open the door, I look through the glass, and he’s already staring at me. His eyes catch mine, and there’s so much relief in them at seeing me that I push open the door and walk towards him before I can second guess myself.

I sit at the desk in front of him again, knowing I need to keep my distance because I feel like my guard is already slipping.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“How was your exam?” I ask, hating that all of our conversations now are just full of small talk.

“I tried my best.”

He always does.

We just watch each other for a moment, and he looks tired in a way I’ve never seen before. He has dark circles under his eyes, and his face is paler than usual. There’s a weariness in his eyes, and they’re missing all the brightness that I loved so much. I have to look away, a pang in my chest at seeing him like this. Instead, I watch the way his hands are folded on the desk and how he twiddles his thumbs. I want so badly to reach out to him, to take his hands in mine and feel that familiar comfort.

“I didn’t even want to do it really.”

What?

I look back up to meet his eyes, trying to figure out the unspoken words he’s saying with that, but he turns his head, looking out of the window instead.

“You didn’t want to do it?”