Page 34 of The Story Of Us

I want to give him a second chance.

I call my mum when I get back to my room and prepare for another lecture. We haven’t spoken since last weekend, and this is one of the longest times we’ve gone without speaking to each other. I know I can’t keep putting it off, though, and that we’ll have to have a conversation about the future eventually, considering I need to start applying for universities soon.

The first time I ring, she doesn’t answer, so I wait for her to call back, but she doesn’t, and I start to worry that maybe I’ve pushed her too far. We’ve always had a close relationship because it’s just been the two of us. Having her ignore me like this feels more painful than anything else, but I know it’s a lot for her to deal with, too.

I call again, but there’s still no answer, so I settle for texting her instead and just hope she’ll get back to me soon.

Violet

Hi mum

I tried calling you, but you might be busy

Call me back whenever you can

I love you

I spend the rest of the evening doing homework and waiting for a response that doesn’t come.

13

ISAAC / VIOLET

ISAAC

It’s been two weeks since we were paired up for the project, and we’ve only just decided on an idea to proceed with. Last week, Violet told me a few of her ideas, and I reiterated that I’m happy to do whatever she wants. I don’t even care how much work it’ll be for me; I just want to do whatever makes her happiest and makes her life easier.

When she told me her ideas, I felt transported back to a few months ago, and for a moment, I let myself pretend that I had. She rambled on, telling me the different concepts she had thought of, and it reminded me of all the times she would call me after finishing a book.

I was always content to listen to her as she talked about them, to have her voice in my ears, and to be the person she turned to whenever she wanted to talk about anything. I held on to that feeling as she spoke last week, happiness flooding through my veins at the tiny miracle of her just speaking to me like she had before—no clipped words, no harsh tone, just Violet’s lovely voice.

After spending the first fifteen minutes of club going back and forth on which concept to go with, we finally chose one, but we’ve been working in silence since. The characters start out on a train, so I focus on some basic background sketches that’ll be easy to add later when I need to make it look like the train is moving. Violet said she’s not one hundred percent set on what she wants the characters to look like yet, so I’ll have to work on that part later.

I try my best to concentrate on the task at hand, but it’s hard when Violet is sitting right next to me, and every instinct makes me want to reach for her like I would have done before. She hasn’t moved her chair away from mine this time. If I moved my leg a tiny bit, it would touch hers. I force myself to go back to drawing, but I’m so aware of her presence that it’s difficult.

It’s always been like this, even when we were younger and before we became friends. It was like I always knew when she was going to enter a room as if the air around me was changing with her presence. Once we started dating, the awareness felt like a living thing beneath my skin. I felt it every time she even shifted slightly when we sat together, could feel whenever her eyes were on me, even if I couldn’t see her. That feeling still hasn’t gone away. I never want it to.

I sneak glances at her, watching as she scribbles in one of her journals, and it pains me that it’s not the one I got for her when I know she still has it. I look away from her, trying to focus on my sketches, but then my brain turns to thinking about the LNAT instead.

The exam is tomorrow and Violet doesn’t know that I’m taking it. I don’t know if I even have the right to tell her anymore. I have to leave early, though, so that I can drive home which means I need to tell her something. I don’t know how to approach the topic with her, or if I even should, considering what me taking the exam means for us.

“We want to give you a bit more freedom for this project, so we’ll no longer be meeting every Friday. We’ll set some monthly check-ins with you all, but we thought it might be better if we just let you get on with it in your own time.’

Mrs. Harper’s words surprise me, and I know it’s the same for Violet, too, because she looks at me for the first time since we started working. I’ve noticed that she’s been doing this a lot more recently, looking to me first and initiating conversations when I don’t really expect it. A tiny voice in my head tells me that it’s because she’s starting to warm up to me again, and while I don’t know if I can hope for her forgiveness just yet, this feels like a good start down that path.

But without the clubs running properly, when will we see each other? Will it just be at the monthly checks, both of us working separately and then pretending we haven’t? I know a few weeks ago, I told her I would be fine with that, but I don’t think I am. I might just be delusional, but I swear I can feel things changing between us, and it’s thanks to the fact that we have to work on this project together.

“You can leave whenever you’re ready to, but come see us before you do so we can set a date with you all.”

I put my pencil down, closing my sketchbook as I realise that this has given me the perfect out to leave early without telling her why. I start to tidy my things away, putting my pencils in their case and rearranging them as I try to drag out the inevitable. But once I’ve finished that, there’s nothing else for me to do other than tell her. I turn to look at Violet, thinking that maybe facing her head-on might make it easier, but I don’t know who I thought I was kidding. Looking at her this close-up just has me lost for words - she’s still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.

“I uh..” She turns her head towards me, eyes locked onto mine, and I can’t form a single coherent sentence, can’t think, can’t breathe. I clear my throat, focusing my attention back on my desk again as I stack my pencil case on top of my sketchbook. “I actually have to head out early, if that’s okay with you?”

I don’t start packing my stuff away just yet, waiting for her to say if it’s fine or not for me to leave.

If she wants me to stay, I’ll stay.

“Oh, yeah, of course. I’ll probably stay for a bit longer.”

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