Page 16 of The Story Of Us

“Now, of course, this won’t be graded, but we considered making it a competition and having some prize winners. How do you all feel about that?”

Everyone looks around at each other, and then there are murmurs of agreement as people start to whisper about the prizes, but my eyes are still fixed on Violet.

“Wonderful!” Mrs. Harper says enthusiastically, clapping her hands together. “We do have a mix of year groups, so we did our best to pair everyone with someone from their year. However, for the Year 13s, all but one of you will have to work with someone younger, as Violet is my only writer.”

She finally turns her head away from the window to look at Mrs. Harper, but I see her eyes shift towards me for just a second before she looks away again. My mind screams at her to just look at me, talk to me, so that I can work out how to fix this.

“My writers are already seated so when we start calling names out can you raise your hands and then Mr. Hale’s artists can go and sit next to them.”

I listen intently as they go down the list, starting with the youngest students and taking turns calling out names. The group starts to dwindle as everyone finds their partners, and then there are not many of us left, and the odds of getting paired with Violet are three in one. The other two names are called, and I’m the last one standing, my heart feeling like it’s about to beat out of my chest.

“That leaves us with Violet Ayaz and Isaac Evans.”

She’s not even looking at the teachers anymore. She faced the window again as soon as the names started lessening, probably when she realised we’d be put together.

I start making my way towards her desk, and my legs feel like they’re moving by themselves, like I’m on autopilot and she’s always been my destination.

I finally reach her desk and pull out the chair to her right, but she acts like I’m invisible. I wish I was because she moves her chair away from mine as soon as I sit down. A slap in the face would hurt less than this.

I stare straight ahead at the teachers, barely listening as they explain a few more conditions for the project. The last time I was this close to her was on Monday, but she told me to leave her alone then, and so I did. But now, sitting next to her, the floral scent of her perfume, which always used to make me so happy because it meant she was close to me, hits me, and I miss her.

I miss her so much, and she’s right next to me.

“Okay, we’ve pretty much covered everything,” Mr. Hale says. “Start discussing, and we’ll come around to check in with you all.”

I don’t know what to do. While Mr. Hale was talking, she turned away from me completely, putting her right arm on the desk and then resting her head on it, facing the window again. A thousand thoughts run through my mind of what I can say to her, but nothing feels right, so I just open my sketchbook and continue on the sketch I was working on last night.

Ten minutes pass, and we haven’t said a single thing to each other, but I can see Mrs. Harper coming towards us, so I clear my throat, hoping she’ll get the hint. She lifts and turns her head and then finally sits up once she sees them coming. I took the chance to look at her notebook, and it was empty, but she had another fuller one hidden under her left arm. The colour of the cover alone is enough for me to know that it’s the one I got for her. Now it’s my turn to look away from her because the thought of her still carrying a journal with my words in it, just like I still carry her pencils and a sketchbook that is filled with too many sketches of her, is too much to bear.

“Violet, Isaac, how are we doing over here?” Mrs. Harper’s eyes look down at the desk, and she notices Violet’s empty pages just like I did. “Everything okay, Violet?”

From the corner of my eye, I can see her nod, and then she finally speaks for the first time. “Yeah, I’m just trying to figure out what to write next.”

The sound of her pen tapping against the page draws my eyes to it, and the dots she’s leaving look a lot like the freckles on her nose. Freckles that I counted once when she fell asleep while we were studying together for exams last year.

Mr. Hale comes to join Mrs. Harper, and I give them both a placating smile, hoping they won’t ask too many questions because we haven’t discussed a single thing with each other about what to do.

“How’s it going over here?”

I sit up straighter in my chair, but before I can speak, Violet does.

“Actually, I was wondering if there’s any chance for the pairs to change?”

My head instantly snaps to her, and I know I should do what she said and leave her alone, but then I start thinking about how much I don’t want our last year together to be like this.

I already know we won’t end up at the same university or in the same city, and we might never speak again once school ends, but I can’t let the memories of the time we shared end the way they did. I think about how us getting paired together out of everyone feels like another one of the invisible strings that keeps us tied together, like the universe doesn’t want us to be apart either.

“You don’t want to work together?” Mr. Hale’s tone is worried, and he looks to Mrs. Harper, a silent conversation passing between them.

“No-”

“We do.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. “We’re fine working together.”

That’s what makes her finally look at me, and I don’t care about the hatred I can see in her eyes because at least it means she feels something towards me. Her dark brown eyes bore into mine, and I hope that she can read my mind and realise this could be a way for us to repair our relationship and we can go back to the way we were.

“Violet?” Mrs. Harper says, and we can all hear the unasked question: is this fine?

I don’t know what’s come over me, bravery or stupidity, but I knock my knee against hers and hope she hears the message in that, too. The ball is firmly in her court now, and if she decides she doesn’t want to work with me, I’ll respect that and take it as the final sign that this thing between us is unfixable. But I don’t think it is.

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