Page 60 of The Story Of Us

I hate how much he’s breaking down, hate knowing that he’s been struggling with this alone for so long. I wish he had told me earlier about how much he was crumbling under the weight of expectations so I could have helped him more. But there’s no way to turn back the clock so I want to do everything I can to help him now.

“I wasn’t disappointed. I was hurt and sad and a little angry, but I’ve never once been disappointed in you, Isaac.”

I smooth my hand across his back, slowly dragging it up to hold the back of his neck. I gently nudge him, and he turns to face me with red eyes. “All I ever wanted was to be there for you.”

“You were.” He says, voice low and quiet, and then he lifts his hand to cover mine, holding it against the side of his neck where I can feel his pulse beating fast. “And I’ll keep apologising for as long as I need to. I know you can’t trust my words anymore, but I’ll do whatever it takes to show you that I’m in it for real this time.”

He pauses, eyes searching my face. I want him to say what I think he’s about to. I want him to say the words that have been hiding under the surface for the past few weeks. And then he does.

“I want to be with you, Violet. It’s the most selfish thing I could want, but I want it anyway.”

I drop the cards on the desk, and now both of my hands are on his neck, my thumbs grazing his jaw. I slowly slide them up until I’m holding his face, and he closes his eyes, dropping his head until there’s barely any space between us.

“I told you before, you’re not selfish for wanting that.”

His hands cover mine, his breath ghosting across my skin as he lets out a shaky breath. I move my thumbs up to his cheeks to wipe away the tears that have started falling again.

“Can you forgive me? Can you give me another chance?” He says it so quietly, like he’s scared to ask and scared of the answer.

And I want to say yes, want to give myself to him completely again, but it feels too soon. Too many emotions are running through me right now, and I’m worried I’ll make the wrong decision if I go all in with him.

But I want to give him another chance. I want to see where this could go if we tried again.

“I think I can try.”

I only see the relief on his face for a split second before he pulls me into a hug that I sink into immediately. I’ve missed the feel of his arms around me, missed resting my head on his chest and hearing his heartbeat, missed the smell of his perfume, missed just being with him like this.

He runs his hand up and down my spine, and I shiver, tightening my arms around him. I don’t know how long we stand like that, but it feels like we’re making up for lost time, and neither of us wants to let go first. So many months of not talking to each other, not seeing each other, not touching each other has led to this moment. Now, all I want to do is freeze time so that it never has to end.

“I want to do it right this time.” He says into my hair, and I tilt my head back to look at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I just want to take you out somewhere and do something with you. I don’t want our entire relationship to be inside that old room again.”

I consider his words, the nervous tone in his voice, the way he’s not looking into my eyes, and I know what he’s asking me.

“Are you asking me out on a date, Isaac?”

Then his eyes meet mine, and he nods his head, a small smile appearing on his face. He’s my Isaac again.

“I think I am.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He brings one hand up to hold my chin and keep my gaze focused on him. I don’t want to look anywhere else anyway.

“Okay, I’ll go on a date with you.”

He lets out a breath of relief and presses his forehead to mine. For just a second, I imagine what it would be like to kiss him again.

24

ISAAC

It took a while for me to process the fact that Violet had agreed to go on a date with me. Even though I desperately hoped for it, never in my wildest dreams did I expect her to give me another chance after I told her what happened. But she has, and I’m determined not to mess it up this time.

We agreed to go out on Saturday, and the lead up to it has felt like the longest week of my life. We’re still texting every day, our conversations gradually going back to the way they used to be. That alone makes me feel like I can take on the entire world.

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