Page 39 of The Story Of Us

“Did you give her enough time to answer?”

I think about how her hesitation made me nearly run out of the classroom.

“Not really.”

“You can just try and see what happens. The worst thing she can do is not reply.”

I don’t tell him that’s what happened all through summer, that I sent her so many messages asking for a chance to talk and forgiveness, and she completely ignored me.

“I don’t know, Luke.”

“I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to. And I know I said it should be on her terms but maybe she’s waiting for you to make the first move. You won’t get anywhere if you’re both just waiting for the other to do something.”

He’s right, as much as I hate to admit it. It feels like Violet and I have been playing a weird game of tug of war, both of us pushing and pulling, but that’s just left us stuck in the middle.

“I’m just saying,” he continues. “I don’t think she would have said it if she didn’t mean it.”

I nod, even though he can’t see me. I know that I need to try explaining it all to her, going all the way back to our last birthday and our break up and leading up to me taking this exam now.

“Okay, I’m going to text her.”

“Good. I hope it helps both of you.”

“Thanks, Luke. See you on Sunday.”

“Good luck tomorrow. I believe in you.”

We hang up, and I continue to stare at the ceiling, tracing the faint shapes on my ceiling once more before standing up.

I pace around my room, my phone gripped tightly in my hand, as I open our messages. A wall of blue stares at me from the times I tried to reach out to her but she didn’t respond.

I don’t know what to say to her or how to start this message that feels like it could make or break us. I start typing and deleting, typing and deleting and then eventually I end up just sending one word.

Isaac

Hi

I throw my phone on the bed, groaning in embarrassment as I run my hands through my hair. Hi? We haven’t texted in months, and I say hi? I want to have a real conversation with her, and I say hi?

I leave my room and go to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water as a way to distract myself and not think about what I just did. But it barely takes a minute and I can hear my parents shuffling about in the living room so I go back upstairs.

When I get back to my room, I just stare at the phone on my bed. It’s face down, and even though I’m desperate to know if she’s responded, I can’t bring myself to check.

I sit down next to my phone, my hand hovering over it as I try to summon the courage to check it. I touch it lightly, as if it’s a spring-loaded trap, and her response, or lack thereof, will set it off. My heart stops when I finally flip it around and tap the screen.

Jaanu

1 message

She replied.

My fingers have a mind of their own as I swipe to unlock the phone and tap on her message.

Jaanu

Hi

It’s just one word, and yet I feel like I’m about to start crying.

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