Page 36 of The Story Of Us

“Thanks, Violet.”

He gives me a nod as he turns to walk towards the door, but after only a few steps, he comes back to me.

“Can you text me?”

I stare at him, not expecting a question like that.

“I mean, about the project. If you’re working on it this weekend, I’d like to still try and keep up with it so it’s not too much work for you.”

The thought of texting him again shouldn’t have me this flustered. I read through our messages so many times over the summer, conversations back and forth about everything. We’d send silly pictures to each other, both of us trying to find the most ridiculous ones. Sometimes, our talks would turn more serious, dreams about the future and making plans for different places we wanted to visit and things we wanted to do together.

Eventually, those conversations turned into messages from him that I chose to ignore. Ones where he pleaded with me to talk to him because he wanted to explain or even just ask if I was okay. It took everything in me not to reply to him then, but after all this time and the slow progress we’ve been making, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad.

I can’t help but notice how he phrased the question and how he could have easily asked if he could text me instead. But he’s giving me the option for this to be on my terms, for me to decide if I give him another chance or not.

And I want to.

I really, really want to.

But finding out that he’s taking the LNAT, I don’t know if I can.

I’m still dealing with the first time he broke my heart, and I don’t think I can handle it a second time. I can’t stand the thought of getting close to him again just for him to leave once we’re done with the project.

“I…”

His face drops, resignation clear on it as he nods his head.

“I get it. Have a good weekend.”

He walks away before I can tell him I’ve changed my mind.

14

ISAAC

Coming back to my room after interacting with Violet always feels like I’m retreating back to camp after a day at battle. Just when I think we’re making progress and we might be able to repair what we had, I manage to do or say something that completely ruins it all and sends me straight back to square one.

I thought we’d been doing better, that seeing each other over this past month in class and club meant that we could be friendly again. Even though the first week was rough, and she couldn’t even look at me when we got paired up, it felt like things were better now. She was actually responsive to me, we had conversations and even though they were surface level and completely unlike what we had before, it was still something.

But seeing how her face dropped when I told her I was going home to take the LNAT, I knew I’d made a mistake. For a split second, I thought about lying to her, but what good would that have done? It would only have hurt her more when she eventually found out from Izzy or someone else, and then there would be absolutely no coming back from it.

After everything I’ve already done to hurt her, I can’t keep adding to it.

I sit on my bed and drop back, instinctively bringing my hands up to take my glasses off and press my hands into my eyes. I focus all of my attention on the pressure of my hands, breathing in and out for a few seconds before sitting back up again. I don’t have time for a full spiral right now, I need to get my stuff together and leave before it gets too late.

I get up and put my glasses back on, grabbing my overnight bag and packing it with just one change of clothes because I fully intend on coming back to school after the exam. I place the bag on my desk, and although I don’t want my eyes to drift towards the corner of my pegboard, they do.

Five birthday cards are pinned up amongst a sea of others, but these, in particular, each have a beautiful memory connected to them. So beautiful that even after everything that happened and how much it hurt to look at them, I couldn’t even think about taking them down.

I drag my eyes away from them, zipping up the bag and forcing myself out of the door as I reach into my pocket for my phone to text Luke. He appears before I’ve even unlocked it, his heavy hand clapping my shoulder.

“Stop looking so down. You’re going to do great,” he says encouragingly, squeezing my shoulder as we start walking toward the exit of the building.

“I’m just worried.”

About a lot of things, but I deliberately keep it vague. Even though Luke knows about Violet now, I don’t have the energy in me to tell him about what just happened with her.

“I know you are, but you’re the smartest guy I know. You’ve put in the work, and you’ll get the score you need to get an offer from Oxford.”

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