Page 11 of The Story Of Us

I don’t want to think about the other thing she said because I don’t believe it. There’s no world I want to live in where I can accept that Violet is done with me. She’s it for me, always has been and always will be.

I take my glasses off, place them on the desk, and lean back in the chair. Then, I bring the heels of my palm to my eyes, pressing down lightly.

I start listing the things I need to focus on this year, the LNAT being the most urgent one because it’s next month. I spent all summer preparing for it, throwing myself into studying for it as a way to distract myself from the devastation I was feeling. I know I’m fully capable of passing it, but that’s what worries me.

I still have no intentions of going to Oxford or studying law like my parents want me to, but we had enough arguments over the summer about it that I’ve just started lying to them instead. They’ve set my whole life up to follow in their footsteps, and for so long, I played the role of dutiful son and went along with it, not allowing myself to consider that maybe there were other options for me. But at some point, I started to let myself dream that maybe I could pursue something I loved instead.

I can’t pretend that Violet wasn’t the main reason why I started thinking about doing more for myself. She made me realise that my happiness actually mattered and that I couldn’t live the rest of my life doing something I hated. She saw something in me that even my friends didn’t, encouraged me for no reason other than she wanted to, and eventually, the need to pursue that dream started to outweigh everything else.

ONE YEAR AGO

“What do you mean you’re not taking the LNAT?” Violet asks, her voice coming through my phone speaker as I lay on my side in bed.

I can barely see her face with the dim lighting of her room, but I can’t miss the way her eyes widen when she asks the question, and the rustling of sheets tells me she’s sitting up. I do the same, leaning back against the pillows as she flicks on the small lamp she keeps next to her bed for when she wants to read at night. Guess we’re not sleeping early tonight. I get out of bed and switch my own light on. The bulb in my lamp needs replacing, and I usually hate turning the main light on, but if I can see her, I want her to see me, too.

“I mean, I’m not doing it. You know I don’t want to do law anyway, so what’s the point? I’ll tell my parents over the summer and deal with whatever they say.”

She stares at me with a huge smile that she tries to hide, but I don’t let her. I call her name, and as soon as I do, her full smile is on display for me and me only. I’m greedy for it, and I quickly take a screenshot without her noticing.

“What are you going to do then? Animation?”

We’ve had this conversation a lot, but I don’t think I ever spoke about it with enough sincerity for her to believe I was serious about it. But I am, and it’s because of her.

“Yeah. In London.” I pause before adding the next part, scared to voice it even though I hope she’s on the same page as me. “With you.”

“Isaac, you can’t change all your plans for me. This is your future.”

You’re my future, I think.

“I’m changing them for me. You’re just an extra special bonus.”

She lets out a small breathy laugh, and I store it away in my memory, cataloguing it like I’ve done with so many other moments with her. I pull them out whenever I need them, if I’m sad or just need a burst of energy, I think about her and everything feels better.

“Extra special bonus, huh?” She teases, and I wish I was cool enough not to be grinning so widely right now that my cheeks are starting to hurt, but I can’t help it.

“The most special.”

She looks at me, not saying anything, but we don’t need words to talk to each other anymore. The silences spent with her are some of my favourite times. The easy understanding we have of each other, the way I can tell exactly what she’s thinking just by looking at her. Right now, I can tell she’s getting sleepy, her smile slowly lowering and her blinks becoming slower.

“Turn your light off, Violet,” I tell her, keeping my voice low as I go to switch mine off, too.

She gives me a goofy smile with her eyes half closed, and I take another screenshot. I file away the moment in my memories, too, and call it My Special Violet.

“Sweet dreams,” I whisper to her, not wanting to speak too loudly and wake her up as she nestles into her pillow. She murmurs something, but I don’t hear it, and a few moments later, she’s fast asleep. I take a couple of seconds to just look at her pretty face, stunning even in the dark, and then I hang up.

Maybe this whole situation with Violet is the wake-up call my parents thought I needed. Maybe I need to take this as a sign to just keep my head down and do Law anyway because now I know what happens when I try to let myself pursue what I actually want.

A knock at the door has me dropping my hands from my eyes and putting my glasses back on. Luke opens it and lets himself in before I even get a chance to stand up. He’s already changed out of his uniform, but I spent so long spiralling that I’m still in mine.

“You’re gonna have to wait a bit,” I tell him, and he just gives me a thumbs up before going into my bathroom. I throw my hands up in exasperation as I hear the door lock. “Luke, you have your own bathroom.”

“I like yours better.”

“What does that even mean? We have the exact same room layout.” I stand up, pulling my sweater and shirt over my head in one go, and almost end up taking my necklace with it. I put on a hoodie and tuck the silver chain away.

“Yours is just better.” I hear him flush and hear the sound of the tap running as I take my trousers off. Luke walks out before I can put on a pair of jeans. We’ve been friends long enough that it doesn’t phase either of us that I’m just standing in a hoodie and boxers, and he flings himself onto my bed.

“Lucas, get up.” I pull on my jeans and fasten them. “The girls are probably waiting for us, and you know how they get when they’re hungry.”

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