Page 4 of King of Guilt

“Today! Go home now. Call everyone. Tell them we’ve been having a secret thing, because of work. Or… anything. Whatever sounds right for you, just say it. I’m on board with whatever story that makes this easy for you.” Squeezing her hand gently, I urged her. “Just say that you accept. Please, Emma… help me give my mother the only gift she’s been waiting for before I lose her forever.” I felt my voice break, so I paused for a moment, reclaiming my tone. “She’s fading away from me… so quickly. Please understand—”

“I’ll do it,” she blurted out, another pair of tears escaping her eyes. Her hand held onto my fingers while she looked into my eyes. “I’ll do it for you—for Pearl.”

Afraid I might lose control, I quickly pulled my hand away from hers, sitting back while I shakily grabbed my drink. “Thank you, Emma.” I kept my gaze away from hers as I took another sip. “I appreciate it. Um, you can go now… tell your friends and family that the wedding will be on the fourteenth. Because it’s January, it’ll be an indoor affair.” Swallowing hard, I tried to organize my racing thoughts. “Because of my mother’s condition, it will be held at the mansion. That way, she can be escorted to her suite whenever she needs. The official story is that we will honeymoon in St. Lucia for the week following the wedding.”

I saw her hastily grab her notepad and pen, jotting down what I was saying while her eyes repeatedly blinked. I felt bad for her with all my heart, but I knew that I would be able to treat her with kindness for the period of her stay. Besides, the money should be a fair compensation; if she asked for more, I would happily pay.

But I also knew that I needed to clarify another important point. “Emma?”

“Hmm?” She lifted her gaze quickly. “I got it all.”

“It’s only fair to agree on this as well… you don’t have to think of this as a real marriage. It’s open—your life will not be changed, except that you will be staying with us. You can still work here during that period if you choose to. And… if the opportunity arises, of course you can go on dates and have your own private life away from me. Just—I implore you not to let it be known, especially to my mother. She can’t think of—”

“Of course not,” she quickly cut in. “That goes without saying. I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Grabbing a freshly printed document, I laid it out in front of her. “This is a contract with our agreement and the payment defining it. It was prepared by our family lawyer. He’s the only soul who knows about this—the only person who needs to know.”

“A contract?”

“This is only to make you feel comfortable. Rest assured that your rights are reserved and—

“I—I trust you, Mr. Allen. We don’t need to do this.”

“Please. First of all, you need to learn to call me by my name now. You can’t slip in front of anyone and address me like I’m still only your boss.”

“Of course. Dean.”

“Please sign it. I already did. It’ll make us both feel a lot better. Do it for me. I don’t want this hanging over my head at a time like this.”

“O—Of course.” I watched her hands hurriedly slide the document towards her, and without reading it, she jotted down her signature next to all the pink stickers.

Next, I grabbed the other file I had been putting together. After making all the necessary calls, I had collected everything Emma could possibly need.

“Here.” I handed her the file. “You’ll find the contacts and information for the best wedding planner in New York; a celebrity hair stylist, and a Hollywood makeup artist to be flown in from Los Angeles. There are also two pending orders for a wedding dress in your size to be delivered by express from Paris or Italy, please, choose the one you like. They also have an active order for my suit, so we don’t need to think about that.”

“Oh my God, you thought of everything.” She sounded breathless as she pulled out the documents.

“Please contact the planner first. She’s my cousin’s partner and she’ll get everything together in no time at all. Also, I would recommend you share your guest list with her by tomorrow, so she can send out the invitations.”

Even though she looked rightfully overwhelmed, Emma rose to the occasion. Standing up, she straightened her shoulders and hugged the file to her chest. “You don’t need to worry about a thing.” She nodded. “I got this.”

At that moment, if Emma Nixon had grown a white pair of wings, it wouldn’t have surprised me in the slightest.

And when she eventually left, I could finally allow my tears to take a hold of me… and they were mercilessly vindictive.

three

Stepping into the Unknown

Emma

My racing heart knew—long before I did—that my life was about to change forever. Not only had my parents’ sordid divorce when I was a teenager given me an ugly idea about marriage, but my previous experiences with love were less than perfect. That was why pretending to marry a man I wasn’t in love with should have been easy. To me, there was nothing sacred about that ritual, or the document that accompanied it. A social charade, that was what it was. And love? Love was a beautiful emotion that didn’t need documents or witnesses.

Love was a whole other thing.

On the fourteenth of January, my girlfriends and the ladies of the family gathered in the suite Dean had given me, sipping on champagne and laughing at each other’s anecdotes. My mother, separating herself from the merry crowd, stood behind me while the makeup artist worked on my face.

I could see her reflection in the mirror, not even attempting to hide her surprise and bafflement. “Honey, are you sure you want to do this?” She placed her hand over my shoulder, a gesture the artist quickly brushed off, so he could do his job from the right angle.

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