Page 14 of Rough

No matter how hard I tried to convince myself to stay home that evening, I found myself getting ready, stepping out the door, and before I knew it, I was inside the club again. It was as if my brain and my body each had contradicting opinions, but pleasure won out in the end.

Temptation had always been a struggle for me. I almost always caved to the risks, no matter what the situation presented.

Was it so wrong to want to give in to pleasure? I found myself becoming aroused just thinking about pleasing Garret and bringing him to new heights of erotic euphoria. I wanted to seek his approval, which left me feeling indecisive.

Craving another’s approval was a token trademark of a sub, and I still wasn’t entirely convinced that was what I wanted for myself, but for now, I was willing to explore my options.

I was supposed to be the one in control, not here to please someone else. When I’d initially wanted to join the club, I’d envisioned myself in fantasy situations with men where I was the dominating party, commanding them to do what pleased me. But here I was, finding myself in a completely opposite situation with Garret, yet I didn’t utterly detest the idea either. This in itself was enough to scare me but challenge me as well. And my Dom side didn’t want to back out so easily.

I wandered around the club for several minutes. I checked out the bar scene. There were more patrons here tonight than the night prior. The dance floor was peppered with half-naked men, dancing and grinding against each other in a sweaty, sex driven environment that excited me.

My eyes panned and inspected every corner of the place, but I didn’t see Garret anywhere. I wasn’t interested in sticking around if I was unable to find him, so I started drifting back toward the entrance of the club in order to exit and go back home.

“Felix?” I heard a familiar male voice calling out behind me.

I quickly spun around and smiled. “Garret.”

Garret frowned, looking at the doors as he put two and two together. “Were you… leaving?”

I shifted my weight uncomfortably. “Well, I, uh…”

Garret’s demeanor softened and his eyes sparkled with warmth. He cupped a strong hand over my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Let’s go somewhere and talk privately,” he suggested.

“Just… talk?” I asked, already feeling cynical and hopeful at the same time.

I didn’t know if I was up for the role of sub tonight, but the night was early, and the atmosphere was supercharged with sexual tension hovering around us.

“You can tell me anything. I look at you, and I feel like you need to vent.” His smile was sincere enough for me to take the bait.

“Well, I guess I could get some stuff off my chest—”

“Good.” Garret gave me a bright and beaming smile and led me to another private room.

This one had a bed and a couch.

“Let’s sit on the couch,” I suggested and pointed to it as Garret closed and locked the door behind us.

Garret yet again seemed unfazed by my direction. “Whatever makes you feel more comfortable.”

I plopped down on the couch with a resigned sigh and chuckled at the irony of how my life was currently unfolding.

“Go on,” Garret coaxed gently. “Just release that built-up tension. You need to unwind.”

He lightly grazed his fingertips across my back, but through my shirt, not under it. The motion of his hands stroking my back and the way he tenderly touched me still felt incredible.

I lifted my gaze and made eye contact with Garret.

“In an effort to fully disclose openly and honestly with you, I feel like the Dom side of me needs a little upkeep. I have left it unattended for so long, that I feel like it’s reached a suppressive point of no return.”

Garret simply gave me an encouraging smile but didn’t say anything, as if he wanted me to elaborate more.

“I’m still working out some kinks regarding some issues I had with an… ex…” I trailed off and laughed. “Don’t worry, he’s completely out of the picture now.” I rolled my eyes. “Of course, who doesn’t still struggle with internal battles stemming from bad relationships that have gone sour? I probably sound like such a cliché right now—”

“It’s all right,” Garret said with an encouraging smile. “Go on.”

“Well, I’ll spare you the boring details,” I recounted vaguely, “but for the most part, my ex never really responded well to my Dom role. We clashed a lot more than you would expect. He told me that I was too uptight and controlling, but I know why I’m like that.” I paused and glanced at my lap.

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