Two hours later, when I felt like I’d actually rather be in the dentist’s chair than pose for another photo, it was finally time to enter the barn for the ceremony. My mother had sent Hugh to call us all inside, so I was able to glom onto him once again.

As he approached from the open barn doors, he looked happy. “You look familiar. Did we meet at a wedding before?”

My heart tripped over itself, but I tapped my lip and pretended to consider this. “Mmm. Seven out of ten for originality.”

Hugh grinned. “Wait till you see how gorgeous it is inside,” he gushed. “They did such a good job. It’s like something from a farm chic magazine. Fairy lights, chandeliers wrapped in fresh flowers, candles everywhere… it’s like this perfect blend of casual elegance and warm welcome. So like your sister. And someone put together a slideshow. There are pictures of her in her dance costumes as a teen.”

Sure enough, when we walked in, a large screen hung from the back wall, and an overhead projector was currently playing a slideshow. Photos of Hyacinth and Dirk elicited “awwwws” and laughter from the growing crowd of guests. Hugh stopped and stared as a photo of me and Hyacinth popped up from over ten years ago.

“It’s baby Oscar,” he said reverently, reaching over to take my hand. “Look how scrawny you were.”

“I was twenty-eight,” I said. “Manly. Strong. Buff.”

He leaned over and kissed my cheek, never taking his eyes off the slideshow. “Sure you were, babe. That’s what I meant. Look how virile you were.”

The edges of his lips were turned up in an affectionate smile, and I wondered if I’d ever dated anyone other than possibly Boone who would be so enraptured by an old photo of me.

“Christ, is that you?” he asked with a muted gasp when another old shot popped up. “I didn’t notice it before. And look at Marigold! Thank god she no longer has that piercing.”

“It got infected. It was a whole thing,” I muttered, watching the flash of photos. Some were old enough to have been taken in the apartment building we lived in when we’d met, when I’d become a babysitter of sorts and the kids were even more chaotic than they were now as adults.

We watched the photos as the guests streamed past us and took their places in the rows of folding chairs set up for the ceremony.

When it was clear the ceremony was ready to begin, Hugh tugged me into the row with the rest of my siblings. I took a seat next to Jasmine and pulled Hugh down in the seat on the other side, next to Sage’s girlfriend.

It was the first time in my life I’d ever sat through a wedding ceremony next to someone I cared about. It was the first time I’d held hands with a man while I listened to two people vow to love each other through thick and thin. And it was the first time I felt like I was personally invested in the happiness of a beloved sister as she beamed up at her now-husband.

Jasmine sniffed and reached for my free hand, clutching it tight and leaning into my shoulder. “I want that,” she whispered in a wobbly voice. “What she has.”

I nodded stiffly and tried not to look at Hugh. Emotions battered me from all sides. I wanted it too. I wanted it so much. But I also knew the pain of it ultimately failing, which was what I’d tried so hard to avoid.

Hugh pulled his hand out of mine but quickly moved it to rub across my upper back as the bride and groom made their way back down the aisle and out into the winter night, presumably for more photos.

I turned to give Jasmine a big hug. “You’ll find it one day,” I said into the side of her fancy updo.

She pulled back to look at me before glancing over my shoulder at Hugh and back to me with a knowing smile. “I hope so.”

I was grateful she didn’t make a verbal comment about my relationship with Hugh, but her thoughts were still clear in her expression. She assumed I’d finally found my own happily ever after, and she was happy for me.

All I could do was nod while that stabbing pain hit me in the chest once again.

When Jasmine turned and stood up to give her dad a hug, I swiveled back to Hugh. Once again, he surprised me. Instead of looking emotional and softly sentimental, he appeared calm and confident. His quiet steadiness was exactly what I needed.

“That was a lovely ceremony,” he said.

“Yes. Dirk’s a good guy. I’m happy for them.”

Hugh reached up to brush an errant strand of hair from my forehead, a move he’d done countless times. Every time he did it, the gesture reminded me of how incredible it felt to be on the receiving end of physical affection and tender care.

I leaned in and kissed him, long and slow. When I finished, his mouth tilted up in a grin. “Feeling lovey?” he teased.

“Feeling some kind of way,” I admitted with a smile. “Thank you for being here with me. Not… not because I needed someone, but because I… I’m glad it’s you. I enjoy your company and…”

His smile widened. “Same,” he said before stopping my stammering with another kiss. “Let’s go get a drink before you accidentally propose to me.”

He stood up with a little chuckle. Implying my rare display of emotion would have ever ended up in a declaration of love was clearly a joke in his mind, but he had no idea how close he was to the truth.

Inside, I was reeling. I felt the same way Jasmine did, but my feelings were overlaid by panic and desperation due to the ticking time bomb of our stupid agreement.